Long Distance Relationship

Student Lounge College Life
1

<p>So, what do you guys think about this? </p>

<p>I've known this girl for 3 years, and this summer, we recently confessed our love for each other. We talk everyday and text each other everyday saying how much we love each other. There's one problem. She lives in Texas and I live in Pennsylvania. We don't get to see each other much.. and I mean as in ever. That sucks. </p>

<p>We met in a yahoo chatroom where we were just talking as friends. It was actually a romance chatroom. And I was like, okay this is fun to do while I have nothing to do today.. lalalalaala.. So, we kept talking for about 2 years. During the third year, we exchanged phone numbers and began texting each other lots. Then, I built up the confidence to talk to her. I was shy to talk to her on the phone because I didn't know what to expect. Second semester of that year, we began talking to each other more and more. We exchanged pictures and talked on webcam. Then, I was being random and asked her if she had feelings for me. She said no, but later that day she said, actually, I do have feelings for you and I was scared to tell you. I told her I had feelings for her too. We began to have more and more serious conversations. Then, we started telling each other that we love each other once in a while. Then, we started telling each other we love each everyday. And now its multiple times a day. I said that I wanted her to be my girl friend despite the distance and she said she wanted to be serious as distance could allow us to be. </p>

<p>So, I updated my facebook saying that I'm in a relationship, and everyone is asking about it and they seem weirded out by it. Well, not everyone, just some. </p>

<p>It's not that I'm a loser or anything, I just got myself in sooo deep that I can't and don't want to get out. I don't want to go after other girls at my school or anywhere for that matter. So, please don't judge me like that. I think you would be in love with a girl that makes you smile everyday even though you're not with her. </p>

<p>I told her that I am going to make plans after college to spend time with her. Quite honestly, I'm very nervous about it but I'm very excited. I think we have such a strong connection. More of a connection than my past relationships. I'm scared to tell my friends and parents because they are very judgemental and they are going to think I'm looney, but as soon as I moveout from my house after I graduate I think I'm going to spill the beans no matter what happens because she is already doing that with her family members and such and I should too. My family is very traditional and doesn't understand technology and they don't understand long distance relationships. </p>

<p>Do you think there is anyway to tell them so they don't freak out? Do you guys think I'm crazy? What do you guys think about my plans and how do you guys feel about long distance relationships? Let me know your thoughts on the subject.</p>

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<p>You do not know a person you’ve never met. I know you don’t believe me and don’t want to believe me, but you do not know a person you’ve never physically met. You’re not going to listen to me but you shouldn’t date someone that you’ve never actually met and won’t be able to spend time with.</p>

3

<p>The long distance relationship part isn’t the weird part, it’s the meeting online in a romance chat room that seems a little weird.</p>

<p>It’s great that you have a connection, but you should at least meet in person and see whether this is just infatuation or something deeper. That’s not to insinuate that it couldn’t work out.</p>

<p>And um…call Chris Hansen before you go meet her.</p>

4

<p>I’ve met people online before. It’s not like I’m new to this. After I was 18 and wasn’t meeting great women, I started using dating websites and have met many women on blinde dates and then have gone out with them more. Hell, more than half the women I met on dating websites I didn’t even talk to them on the phone before meeting them and I’m still alive and kickin’. =)</p>

<p>No, I will listen, that’s why I want opinions. I’m weighing the negatives with the positives. If I didn’t want opinions, I would have said “don’t post” or something like that. lol.</p>

5

<p>How can you even know if you’re physically attracted to this girl without having ever met her? Pictures, webcam, and phone conversations can’t substitute for a real life experience.</p>

6

<p>I bet Microsoft is going to come out with a webcam filter that will make everybody look like Jessica Alba.</p>

<p>And then Apple will put said filter on the iPhone forty years later.</p>

7

<p>I kind of know what you’re going through, me and my friend who lives in Canada were really close and I started developing feelings for her, because after a while of talking for 4 hours a night 5 days a week for 3 months, you kind of do develop feelings. But I never considered any relationship possible, I told myself I wanted to be her best friend and not her boyfriend which was impossible. Going out with somebody you’ve never even stood next to is… not healthy. I say you’ve fallen in love with how she presents herself online and not who she actually is, which can only be through physical contact. Me and my friend are best of friends though and a relationship just isn’t possible or desired</p>

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<p>I’m not saying you shouldn’t meet people from the internet. I’m saying you’re not ogint to meet her any time soon, if ever, because of the distance. You’re basically denying yourself any chance at a physical relationship until you graduate or later, let alone getting to experience things (movies, parks, games, walks) with a signifigant other. If you someday end up in the same area as her and you’re both still single then great, meet up with her then, but be prepared because since you’ve never actually met her you have likely romanticised her to the point that she could never live up to your expectations.</p>

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<p>I see what you guys are saying. I haven’t really romanticized her because I know that ultimately the relationship will fail. And you don’t really need to educate me on the internet since I use it all the time, I know the possibility of predators and such. I like the risk factor though. Aren’t a sick? It’s exciting!</p>

10

<p>If you know it will fail what is the payoff for dating her exclusively? You could keep being friends with her (well, could have before you started telling someone you’d never met you loved her) and date people that you can actually see.</p>

11

<p>LMAO! Now, this topic is getting funny. And interesting. I like it. You have a great point. I’m not even sure how it happened, but it did and it’s been actually pretty good besides the non-physical aspect of it. And again, it’s not like I haven’t thought about this stuff before. I think about it everyday.</p>

12

<p>It seems to me that if you’re asking people on the internet for advice, you know something about the relationship is funky. Especially from your “don’t judge me” attitude and your general lack of defensiveness. Just my two cents…your subconscious may know that it’s a little off before the rest of you does.</p>

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<p>Lack of defensiveness? I really don’t wanna **** people off on here. lol. And you make an excellent point, but I’m not asking for advice. No, I’m saying don’t judge me because I’ve done this before with online dating and people have said the exact thing people on here are saying. I was really looking for motivation to make it work, but I’ve already found some people on other sites that have done this and have had great success. It’s hard to have people that don’t understand. I thought maybe I could get some motivation here. And you seem to know a lot about my subconscious for not knowing who I am. lol. Thanks everyone though. I got a lot of the responses that I assumed I would get unfortunately. A moderator can close this thread now because I’m done with it. =)</p>

<p><a href=“http://searchwarp.com/swa278584.htm[/url]”>http://searchwarp.com/swa278584.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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<p>One thing that I’ve noticed about CC is the threads you want to go away, never do. Someone (currently me) will keep bumping it up with responses. </p>

<p>Anyhoo, I just, in general, think the online dating thing is weird. But if you’re really into her, then make it work. But I second the idea of just keeping her on the side as a “secret friend”. Especially if your relationship status isn’t in stone.</p>

<p>Good luck. And I’ll be expecting an wedding invitation should there be one. ;)</p>

15

<p>You have spent 3 years in an electronic relationship. Reread your original post, and then perhaps spend some time with counselling services. Im not being mean, but this is an example of a very unhealthy relationship</p>

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<p>OMG LMAO </p>

<p>This thread is a winner. I call for a stickey!</p>

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<p>My friend started talking to a guy that she had a few mutual friends with on Facebook and Skype. They talked for months and eventually thought that they had feelings for each other. Their conversations would last for hours. He came to visit us at school and she spent the entire week wanting him to be gone.</p>

18

<p>I second Plattsburgh’s Chris Hansen suggestion… </p>

<p>If you do plan to meet her, though, it might help to bring along a friend(s) (perhaps a ‘wingman’), if possible. Extra people can help to take off the pressure of ‘meeting’ someone for the first time, and it’s always nice to have a witness, just in case…</p>

19

<p>I remember reading somewhere that when the first TV came out, people dismissed it thinking no one in their right mind would be willing to spend hours staring at a lit up box.
Hmmm…:p</p>

<p>You never know; it could work. I have heard stories of situations similar to this working out - not many, but a few. Like others said before me, just be smart about it. Stay safe :).</p>

20

<p>I don’t know. This relationship could kill me. But, I made a promise to her, that I would meet her. I actually promised to kidnap her and take her home with me. You have no idea what this has done to me. We have cried together on the phone because of this. This relationship has made me disregard everything! I’ve risked a lot of things for this.</p>