Long distance relationship thoughts

<p>So we only dated for a few months in the past summer, but I've gone onto college and so has she. We are 1000 miles away, but we've still kept up with each other and talk almost every day. We both just admitted to each other today that we still very much have feelings and miss each other like crazy. I think I might be in love with this girl. She's so wonderful and kind and warm I just want to curl up with her for hours but obviously we can't do that because she's so far away. Every time I talk to her I'm so much happier afterwards. I've always been a socially anxious person, but when I'm talking to her that all goes away. She brings out the best in me, and makes me want to work hard in school now so maybe one day I could transfer over if need be. I think part of this is just me being 18 and stupid, or at least that's my worry I'm really worried that maybe I don't even know myself well enough to know if she's so perfect for me. I'm only 18
We both just admitted that we can't wait to see each other over thanksgiving break. And I really think we'll probably feel the same way over the holiday break. So what do people think? Is some sort of open relationship in college even worth it? Can the distance work out? I think that if we were doing to enter into something serious it would have to be an open relationship just because it really doesn't make a ton of sense to hold out for someone for so long on the hope that by some miracle it works out.</p>

<p>Try it out for yourself, but I don’t recommend it unless you have complete trust in each other and have plans to be together in the same place in the future.</p>

<p>I’m in a similar situation. My boyfriend lives 3,000 miles away, we met over the summer at a university we were both studying at and feel just the same about each other. If you think your relationship can handle being an open one, then I’d say go for it. Honestly, you’re right, holding onto a long distance thing for 4 years in the hopes it’ll work out is just not feasible. My boyfriend and I recently decided the same thing. If she really means that much to you and you really mean that much to her, I wish you the very best of luck. If you really do love each other, you’ll work it out somehow.</p>

<p>I’m not sure why it even needs to be open. If you want to give it a go, go ahead. Good luck.</p>

<p>It works but like 5% of the time, go try it</p>

<p>but the open relationship idea, if u really like this chick, you shouldnt even think about doing that</p>

<p>I think an open relationship is probably less likely to work - and not because open relationships don’t work, but because they require a lot of trust and coordination, and the two of you have only dated for a few months this summer. However, some people are just well-suited for non-monogamous relationships because their personalities and personal values jive with that. It’s really up to you, but you need to communicate about it and be sure that both of you are truly satisfied with whatever you decide.</p>

<p>I have to disagree with you that it “really doesn’t make a ton of sense to hold out for someone so long.” In fact, I think if you believe that, there’s less of a chance of you working out. At this point, given that comment, your “open relationship” sounds more like a “I want to date other people, but the two of us can get together over breaks and be close.” And if that’s what you want, that’s fine too, as long as that’s also what she wants. You don’t have to formalize things, if both of you are happy with kind of kicking it together during breaks and dating other people and exploring while in college.</p>

<p>I had my four year anniversary with my girlfriend this past August.</p>

<p>I spent 3 of those years in a community college trying to transfer out and attend her university out-of-state. I was accepted, but I couldn’t pay for it all. I would have to take massive amount of loans out. Massive. So, I have to spend the next two years here at another university (if I can graduate on time). </p>

<p>Next hurdle is graduate school. We will apply to some similar graduate schools. If we end up going to different ones, chances are we will be separated until we finish our PhD’s. That is not to say we don’t ever see each other. We see each other every winter and summer vacation. She just bought tickets this morning actually. </p>

<p>It has been hard, but you get used to it and find ways to make it work. We spend a lot less time together nowadays as juniors in college but what time we do spend together is enough. However, visiting each other and then leaving always leaves a bit of heartbreak.</p>

<p>I don’t honestly recommend you do a long distance relationship unless you can make it work and trust them. We know we’re going to get married, so there’s that.</p>