"long distance relationship"

<p>Just out of curiosity, has anyone had a long distance relationship with one person going to UCSB and the other going to UCSC?</p>

<p>I haven’t but I’ve heard very unfortunate things about people in college and in long distance relationships at the same time. Stuff about how those in ldr’s spend a lot of their free time just talking to their significant other and not enough time socializing with others. How difficult it can be to have to juggle classes, study time, friends, and a partner miles and miles away (imagine all that freaking stress, especially if things in the relationship start to take a wrong turn). It just doesn’t seem intelligent to me.</p>

<p>No, but I’ve had a long distance relationship where I was at UCSB and she was at UCDavis. Would that count?</p>

<p>Haha, bottom line, long distance relationships are long distance relationships. They might work out, but they rarely do. The specifics don’t matter–if you’re too far to see each on a whim, with an hour’s notice, there’s a good chance the relationship will fail.</p>

<p>True but what if its only for two years lol</p>

<p>and ps its not a highschool relationship. Im transferring to ucsb hes transferring to ucsc</p>

<p>this needs to be a rational decision, not an emotional one. the likely hood of this working out -from my perspective through experiences- is not favorable. ldr’s rarely ever work because you’ll be caught up in a “fantasy” so to speak, the physical presence of the other person is extremely important, not just the thought or longing for.</p>

<p>my advice is to stay as friends, you will meet more and more people at your new campuses, some of whom will be potential partners. explore your youth! trust me =)</p>

<p>There should be a law against using long-term relationship and UCSB in the same sentence…</p>

<p>It might be different if you two are transfer students. I tried the long distance as an entering freshman and we broke it off during summer. Two years isn’t that bad, but depending on how busy your schedules are and how much you keep in contact, it could or could not last. My friend transfered to UC Davis and her boyfriend went to NYU. They lasted the 2 years and are still together 2 years after that.</p>

<p>i will be going to ucsb and i got a gf this summer before transferring after my goal was to stay casual with everyone and anyone i got involved with… what the heck is wrong with me? </p>

<p>anywho, she keeps asking if im going to want to stay together after i leave, and i really dont know what to say. i say, "we will figure it out, " but really i know that it is going to be way too stressful to have full time physics classes, play on the lacrosse team which is practically year round, AND have a gf that is 7 1/2 hours away… its just impractical. </p>

<p>im still in the “we will figure it out” stage because i really do like her, but i think im going to have a talk about it very soon because i dont want to lead her on… i think ill probably say we will go into an “open relationship” so that there isnt pressure to talk on the phone every day, etc. i just dont want to miss out on opportunities, which is why i wanted to go to school so far away in the first place.</p>

<p>wow aj, same **** happened to me. we recently broke up, but are now friends, and are talking everyday, things are pretty swell. (never burn bridges, you never know what the future holds)</p>

<p>it’s hard at first but you know what you have to do.</p>

<p>-katia: I know exactly what you’re going through. is it possible? yes. is it easy? no. if you two are planning to live in the same city after two years then i’d say it’s worth a shot. in my case, both me and my gf where planning on attending grad school, and the odds of us living in the same city after graduation would have been slim, so w/o even a likelihood of a stable future i threw in the towel.</p>

<p>@OrganicGreenTea
Ditto to that, exactly.</p>

<hr>

<p>I’m going to be at UCLA beginning this fall. My GF will stay in the bay area (san jose), and we are staying together. If you really love the person, it shouldn’t even be a question. We’ve been together for almost 3 years. I didn’t go straight to a UC after HS so that I could stay with her, and I don’t regret it. I hate when people play the card that “oh, how likely is it that it will even work out” or “oh, you guys wont last anyway.”</p>

<p>The truth is, if you’re serious about the person, it can work. I will be flying back to san jose at least one weekend a month (with my schedule, i can leave LAX on thursday afternoon and return monday evening or tues morning), and she will be visiting me once a month as well.</p>

<p>I used to think the same as some of this people, but in the long run, if you break up before leaving, you might ask yourself “what if…? was it worth it?”</p>

<p>So you can at least try, if you are serious about him/her, that is.</p>

<p>AJdavidson07: I would say it all depends on how long you have been with the girl. If you have only been seeing each other a couple of months and you are not seriously commited it may be best to be honest. Where will she be? Do you see yourself creating something more long term with her? Are you in love? Are you willing to put in the effort to maintain the relationship? These are all probably questions you could ask yourself to help make your decision easier.</p>

<p>Midnightgolfer: Thank you I really appreciate you sharing the experience your friends had! That helps alot!</p>

<p>Higherhopes:
That exactly what we are planning to do so far! I have been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years, and so far we have discussed coming down to see eachother every other weekend. We will be 4 hours apart so it shouldnt be too strenuous. He has also made his schedule so that he has friday-sunday free from school ( i havent signed up for classes yet) I have had plenty of friends say they were entirely capable of keeping their relationships together as long as the effort was made.</p>

<p>we have only been dating for a few months. not sure what to do. i really like her because she is different from other girls and blah blah blah… really sweet, but i already know its going to be too hard to maintain a relationship with how busy im going to be. i really think moving into an open relationthip is the best option and what im going to do because otherwise im going to be missing out on the school tha ti worked so hard to go to.</p>

<p>I acutally went to a jc right next to SDSU and my girlfriend went to UCSB… At first it was difficult and many problems will arise. But we went through one year and it worked out fine but be prepared to make sure thats what you really want because there will be alot of distraction from both sides.</p>

<p>Matrix 13- Are you guys still together now?</p>

<p>Yes, we made it through that year of long distance however, I decided to transfer to UCSB so I am now living there.</p>