My daughter did REA for Stanford and last Friday got an email about a “status change”. She decided she didn’t want to
look at it right away, as she had a ski race and didn’t want the prospect of a negative decision to impact her mood. I totally get it. We’ve asked her about it a couple of times “When do you think you’ll be ready to look at the email?” and also suggested she not wait too long, as it’s important to get resolution (one way or another). Her college counselor was a bit surprised she hadn’t looked at the email (as of this past Wednesday) and in all honesty…I’d love to know (one way or another).
Trying to give her plenty of time to come into the best headspace for this, but also trying to figure out how else to coax her along. She knows the odds are slim and I suppose isn’t ready to face opening up a rejection email, but sooner or later it’s got to get looked at (and she was the one who decided she wanted to do REA). She is working on other college applications with deadlines in January (and said she would work on them regardless)…
good question…She says she would still follow through with the applications, but IF she got accepted, that might change. She absolutely LOVED the campus and everything about it. Perhaps that’s why it’s so hard for her to open up the email. I’m just teetering between giving her all the space she needs and also being very curious about the outcome and feeling like she needs closure…it’s just hanging out there right now.
Best to just rip the band-aid off quickly. What if it’s a yes?! And if it isn’t, then there are transfer options, grad school etc. It’s not the end of the road. Good Luck!
That’s what I think…but at the moment I don’t have access to her account information. I asked her if she would share it with me and she said “okay”…but I do feel like she should be the one to first look at her results.
Good suggestion. I’ll give her a day or two of breathing room, without asking a thing about it…and then ask if we can look at it together. If not…and if she gives me permission…I might have to sneak a peak.Ha!
I would have hacked into my kid’s account. Come to think of it…I did. I hacked into the school’s website before the results came out, back in the days when it was easier to do.
Yeah, she should check like right now…ASAP, but I really can’t make her check her email, if she’s not ready. Personally I think it’s way worse to drag this thing out.
But yeah, if she gives us her account information, we can definitely check. That was something I was wondering about. If it was an acceptance, is there something a student needs to do, fill out? What about FA? I thought that Stanford would send a snail mail or email versus putting the information on a portal page.
Ask get if she will allow you to check. My D2 preferred that, so that is what we did. Let her know that there may be paperwork or it might influence the ready of her list. And it doesn’t just affect her if the list changes — it can impact what you want your GC to do before winter break. Honestly, I’d tell my kid it isn’t an option to put it off any more.
Some schools take weeks to send the paper copy. Don’t wait.
It’s REA…which is not a binding acceptance…and she doesn’t have to let the school know if she will matriculate until May 1.
I’d let it go. She will open this when she feels like it.
If she had some deadline, like for early decision…that would be one thing…but she doesn’t.
Just say nothing…and I’m betting this will happen a lot sooner than if you inquire over and over again.
On the one hand, I really commend you for honoring your daughter’s autonomy, and being able to restrain your own curiosity. You come off as so understanding and not even frustrated with her.
On the other, I want to say this week long delay seems a little pathological and may need intervention! Like now.
Ideally, at least, your daughter could allow you to check and then you can make sure there are no consequences to waiting. Or you can tell her if she is willing.
If she is having a hard time with the appllication process, or with envisioning leaving home, there is always counseling. Sometimes behavior like this isn’t about getting in or not, but about the whole looming transition ahead, and the response it to put one’s head in the sand.
You know best, but it sounds to me like something deeper is going on, at least some anxiety over getting in that is a little out of proportion.
I admire your restraint. One of my son’s schools was releasing a decision at about 8 or 9am on a Saturday and he was sleeping in. It took all my willpower to wait a few hours and not to wake him up! I can’t imagine knowing it has been there a week. If it was an acceptance, you will get a package or letter eventually. Have you checked the Stanford thread to see if any accepted students have received any follow up letters or emails?
According to a tweet from Stanford admissions acceptance packets (“welcome packets”) were sent by snail mail on December 11, so my guess is that if nothing arrives in the mail today you have your answer.
