looks and height in college

Student Lounge College Life
41

<p>Good lord. Lakrosse, I don't want to be mean, but you need to take a look at yourself instead of blaming other students for your problems. EVEN if they're shallow (and most people are, to some degree) you can do what you can to make up for that. </p>

<p>First, I know many, many short men (some as short as you) who are very popular with men and women. One guy in particular is shorter than me (and that's short), skinny and probably a 6 in terms of looks, but has managed to have quite a bit of success in the romantic arena. Why, you ask? Because he's truly confident, assumes that people will like him, and carries himself in a way that exudes self-assurance. </p>

<p>This is a tip I give to my female friends: stop looking for a gf. You'll find one when you're not desperately searching, seriously. </p>

<p>Also, being willing to go talk to people is not the definition of "confidence." You may be coming off as over-eager or desperate, especially if you're approaching women you don't know at parties. Try to meet people when you're part of a big group conversation, since that's really much more natural. In the context of college, I actually find it strange when someone comes up out of the blue and introduces himself to me. It's one thing if he's in my class, or a friend of a friend, but otherwise, if he comes up and says "Hi, my name is Joe," that comes off as a bit sketchy.</p>

<p>And look, you yourself admit that you're not a particularly attractive guy. Yet, you say that you don't want to feel like you "deserve" a fat or ugly girl. Do you have any idea how absurdly hypocritical that is? How can you write thread after thread complaining about how shallow and awful girls at your school are, when you think that ending up with a girlfriend who's overweight or average-looking would mean that you're a loser? And don't say you're not being shallow -- assuming that a gf who's not particularly attractive is not what you "deserve" is the definition of shallow. </p>

<p>You're complaining that people at your school judge you because of your looks, and yet you're brushing off girls who aren't attractive? I know a lot of average-looking guys who have wonderful girlfriends -- because while their gfs aren't particularly good-looking, they're lovely people. You'll have much more luck with women when you start looking at their personalities instead of their looks.</p>

42

<p>
[quote]
You're complaining that people at your school judge you because of your looks, and yet you're brushing off girls who aren't attractive?

[/quote]
Yeah seriously dude...you've repeatedly said that you're ugly and really short, but it sounds like you're after a hot girlfriend. that's pretty hypocritical...sorry to point out the obvious, but 10's usually date 10's and 3's date 3's. There's wiggle room for personality, talent, charm, confidence, but a 3 still isn't gonna get a 10. Maybe you're aiming too high? When you randomly hit on girls at parties, they'll get creeped out. </p>

<p>i'm shorter than you, unathletic, kind of introverted, live 50 mins away from campus, yet I have friends - what does that tell you?</p>

43

<p>Well actually, someone here said my looks are a 6 in terms of face, and given that I'm not fat, why does a short guy warrant a fat girl? I didn't choose to be short; fat girls chose to be fat by not exercising or eating right, which rightfully so warrants more social scorn that a condition I cannot control. Its not like my face is off center or anything or I look like a monkey. I did not mean to say I'm that ugly, but it seems like that with an OK face and a less than stellar height, I feel not like the hottest. There, so this is why I should not be limited to a fat girl. I never said I deserve a 10 who is 5'9'', tho of course if I could get that or had a chance to pursue if I knew she wasn't completely obsessed over it, then yea. But I'm not fat or completely hideous, so as someone with self-honour, I don't see why I must be limited to an obese girlfriend. And this question wasn't about judging me, but about gauging how much looks play into making friends, which subconciously, to many people it seems so. It seems like guys seek out other guys who they think will help get them girls and vice versa for girls, altho they think about it subconciously, not outwardly.</p>

44

<p>I don't think you deserve any type of girlfriend. You're conceited and don't even know it.</p>

45

<p>Most of the girl I know are like 5'0 to 5'8. I think you have a chance, but you are completely missing it because you are being too obsessive.</p>

<p>Close this thread, then take a look at yourself in a mirror. Tell yourself that there is nothing you can do to change your looks, etc. Then get some self-confidence and move on man!</p>

<p>Don't dwell on this too much. You will just waste your life. I am sure you will get a nice girlfriend if you are not too obsessive over your shortness, etc.</p>

<p>GL</p>

46

<p>lakrosse - no one said that you're doomed to a fat girlfriend. you did describe your looks as "mediocre" so that's probably why people assumed you're ugly. if you're average-looking and have a decent personality, you shouldn't have too much of a problem getting girls. saying that you're "too short" is not a legit excuse because women are 5'4" on average, which means half of women are that height or under. I honestly think your lack of confidence is what's holding you back, so good luck with that. you say you're friendly, but that's not the same as confidence.</p>

47

<p>
[quote]
why does a short guy warrant a fat girl? I didn't choose to be short; fat girls chose to be fat by not exercising or eating right, which rightfully so warrants more social scorn that a condition I cannot control. Its not like my face is off center or anything or I look like a monkey. I did not mean to say I'm that ugly, but it seems like that with an OK face and a less than stellar height, I feel not like the hottest. There, so this is why I should not be limited to a fat girl.

[/quote]

[quote]
I don't see why I must be limited to an obese girlfriend.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>wow, are you serious? first, what's your definition of "fat"? because, starting with the technical, "fat"= / = "obese"...generally 'fat' refers to 'overweight' and generally there's quite a significant difference between just overweight and actually obese. Most overweight people look quite normal, just a bit on the chubby side. Now that that's done with...</p>

<p>Do you realize that it's much harder for females to lose weight than for males? Guys have more muscle mass and therefore also higher metabolism, while women naturally have less muscle mass and are also less able to gain muscle, and the female body has evolved to try to hold on to fat more than male bodies because in the past female bodies needed the fat in order to be able to bear children. Also, some people have various disorders etc such as hypothyroidism that makes it nearly impossible for them to not be overweight. Plus, there's naturally variation throughout the human population so some people's bodies process calories more efficiently than others. Before you start commenting on how 'fat' girls obviously don't have the discipline to take care of their bodies, maybe you should realize that those 'fat' girls could actually be exercising and watching what they eat much more than you do but they're just limited by biology?
I'm also willing to bet some of those 'fat' girls you're so eager to write off just have better things to do than exercising 6 days a week and eating salads at every meal just to lose an extra 5-20lbs.</p>

<p>edit: It's not just his lack of confidence that's holding him back, it's also his shallow nature.</p>

48

<p>lol @ the post above.</p>

<p>chicks do have lower metabolisms, so they need to eat less to lose weight, but they actually have lower appetites (usually) because their body doesn't need as much.</p>

<p>they are more prone to storing bodyfat. but if she's obese, she's obese. she's compared against other females, not against men.</p>

<p>genetic variation does exist, but show me how many starving fat people there are. If you don't eat over maintenance, you won't store fat. Fat storage is always controllable by manipulation of diet.</p>

<p>oh yeah, and:
T-Nation.com</a> | Die, Fatty, Die</p>

49

<p>yeah getting a girlfriend might be difficult if you have to look up to all the girls in your classes lol</p>

<p>but you dont have any friends because of your inferiority complex, maybe you should try to change that before blaming society for your problems.</p>

50

<p>i dont' go out to the world and present any "inferiority complex." I act confident in the way I talk, usually the way I walk, and the way I dress. No one would detect an inferiority complex. I never blamed society. But I am holding shallowness accountable. OH and Se</p>

51

<p>5'2" male? ouch. What was your diet like when you were younger?</p>

52

<p>stop blaming other people for being shallow while you're being extremely shallow. you keep generalizing women as if they have this herd mentality to conspire against you. women and people in general aren't mysteries, they're just people like you. until you figure out that you'll be alone.</p>

<p>now go conquer some fat chicks, napoleon. ;)</p>

53

<p>your height is mostly genetic, and a little bit environment, so I doubt it's because of his diet...i'm shorter than him and I ate well!

[quote]
oh yeah, and:
T-Nation.com | Die, Fatty, Die

[/quote]
Ouch that was a really mean article...some people can't help being large, you know! they have thyroid problems and stuff like that. even if everyone ate healthy and exercised regularly, there would STILL be fat people out there. calling them all lazy and pathetic is pretty mean, because genetics and medical excuses are valid sometimes. this is not coming from a large person, by the way.</p>

54

<p>^ This thread is pretty sad when people who make comments defending fat people have to also point out that they're not large...it's kinda like needing to say "i'm a feminist and i'm not an ugly woman who can't get guys"...</p>

<p>I actually do agree with the main points of that article though--that some people who are fat really have no one to blame other than themselves. For example, I knew one girl who was obese and her wealthy family sent her to fat camp every single summer, but she'd sneak junk food into there and during the school year she would eat 3 normal-person-meals at lunch everyday. The key thing, though, is that not all overweight people can do anything about their weight.</p>

55

<p>^ the reason I added i'm not large is because otherwise, someone would come along and read my comment and be like, "Oh, I bet Stargazerlilies is really fat in real life and that's why she's defending the fatties!" And no, it's not that i'm "defending fat people" or whatever, it's just that article someone posted openly stated fat people should stop using genetics/medical purposes as an excuse - I don't get it. they are valid excuse, imo.</p>

56

<p>
[quote]
Ouch that was a really mean article...some people can't help being large, you know! they have thyroid problems and stuff like that. even if everyone ate healthy and exercised regularly, there would STILL be fat people out there. calling them all lazy and pathetic is pretty mean, because genetics and medical excuses are valid sometimes. this is not coming from a large person, by the way.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>all genetics determines is how much you can eat without gaining weight. It's up to you to accommodate your own metabolism. You can eat healthy food and still get fat, but that's only because you're eating over your maintenance.</p>

<p>
[quote]
The key thing, though, is that not all overweight people can do anything about their weight.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>so you're saying that if they were starving, they would just stay fat? Their body wouldn't use their fat stores for anything?</p>

57

<p>stargazerlilies, I'm not calling you out or anything. I'm just saying it's really sad when people like the one above make it necessary for posters to write that they're not fat so their posts can be taken seriously.
And I agree that genetics and medical purposes are a valid excuse. My take on this:
[quote]
all genetics determines is how much you can eat without gaining weight. It's up to you to accommodate your own metabolism. You can eat healthy food and still get fat, but that's only because you're eating over your maintenance.

[/quote]

If you need to seriously restrict your diet and exercise like crazy in order to be within the normal weight range, sometimes it's wiser to just gain the extra 5,10, 15 whatever pounds and do more constructive things with your time. Seriously, most people can't even tell the difference between normal-weight-range people and people who are 10lbs overweight.</p>

58

<p>Russell - so they can starve themselves - is that what you're encouraging? Starvation?
Some people just have faster/slower metabolisms. But I agree that their are plenty of big people who aren't really trying, or don't want to lose weight....obviously if everyone ate healthy/exercised the obesity rate would probably be significantly lower, but it would never be 0 - that's because some people do have serious medical issues, thryoid problems, etc.</p>

<p>I keep thinking of this woman I work with who is pretty big, def overweight, and at lunch she always has a yogurt + banana, because she says she's on a diet. First of all, I think that's a pitiful excuse for a lunch, second, she hasn't gotten any smaller in the last 4 months (I don't know the details, I'm going by looks)...so I'm guessing she's either sneaking chocolate on the side, or just has a slow metabolism.</p>

59

<p>and back to commenting on the OP, I think I finally get now what he's actually short in...</p>

60

<p>what mcb52, what is it? I hope you're not thinking of pulling the kind of joke I think you are...</p>