<p>intparent, it sounds like your parents made you a generous but reasonable offer, and it sounds like you handled it in a mature and reasonable way.</p>
<p>Good luck to your daughter as she tries to figure out where to go. As we all know, it’s a complicated enough decision without grandparents confusing the issue.</p>
<p>Wow, good job on the moratorium! A lot of well-meaning parents just don’t know how to let go, and they use subtle and not-so-subtle forms of manipulation to make sure their idea of “what’s best” comes to fruition.</p>
<p>Best of luck to your daughter!</p>
<p>Thanks for the update, intparent. And good for you for standing your ground!</p>
<p>Maybe you could just not tell them your daughters scores. You could just say , " she did really well." They obviously think she is Stanford material, that had to come from someone. If they are unable to respect the boundaries you and your D are comfortable with, stop the flow of information.</p>
<p>“said we were going to handle this on our own.”</p>
<p>Yaaaa!! Bravo! Well done! You needed to stand up for your D, and let it be know that you and or she will not be "bullied or “bribed” when it comes to where she decides to apply to college! Dont back down from this wise position in the coming months! You do know what is best for your D… She will thank you for looking out for her interests in the years to come.</p>
<p>I’m going to have this same issue with my mom, and I think it’s important to avoid a situation where your daughter is hearing you argue over an over again that she’s not capable of getting into HPYS. Every child deserves a parent who is their cheerleader. Can you say something like “You know what Dad, you’re right. She’s an amazing kid and Stanford would be incredibly lucky to have her.” If she is applying to Stanford, I’d go on to say “Unfortunately, from what I hear college don’t always recognize the potential in every applicant, and they make unpredictable choices, so we’re applying to a variety of schools. In fact, she discovered this other school that she might like even more than Stanford”. If she’s not applying to Stanford you can say “But we need to find a school where she’ll feel lucky to attend as well. You know what a self starter she is, she really needs a school where she can design her own major (or whatever, just tie what she wants to her strengths, not her weaknesses) so we’ve decided that Hampshire is the perfect choice!”</p>
<p>I wrote that before I saw your update. I think you did great!</p>