I’m thinking of going through the application process for boarding schools again as a repeat sophomore. One thing my dad and I are worried about is the prospect of having to make new friends. Is it difficult to make friends at boarding school, and will I be at a social disadvantage as a repeat sophomore?
Lots of kids enter BS at 10th grade. I think it’s the right time. If I had researched this better, I would have sent my students in 10 instead of 9. The class almost doubles in size at some schools. You won’t have any problem making friends.
Oh thank goodness. Thank you for the response. I’m just kind of scared because if I repeat I’ll be a year older (16/17) and I don’t want to be seen as “weird”.
Did you end up going to Culver? I thought I remembered that you had been accepted there.
Coming in as a sophomore will not be a social disadvantage. Almost all sophomore classes have a bunch of new kids. Here are my secrets for making friends at boarding school:
- Smile and engage right from the beginning. Introduce yourself. Don't hide. Don't be bashful. It can take a lot of courage, but put yourself out there. Huge and fast dividends. And did I say smile? It's power cannot be underestimated.
- Don't take yourself or things too seriously - an easy-going, relaxed demeanor and someone who can laugh at their own foibles is incredibly attractive to others.
- Be a better listener than a talker at the beginning.
- Never, ever participate in saying bad things about anyone - ever. Like your parents told you, "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say it."
- Don't be the "expert." Lots of kids at top 25 schools were rock stars in their previous worlds. You will not be a rock star in this one. Be modest. Let people see your skills as they actually emerge. You don't need to talk about them!
My son is a new 10th grader this year, and he has had a very easy adjustment to St. George’s. @ThacherParent has great advice (as always!) but I can’t emphasize enough the importance of #1. Sign up for activities, hang out in the common room of your dorm, join a group as they walk over to dinner, etc. Even more specifically, join a sports team or drama production or orchestra or whatever group activity is interesting to you. Join a club(s). Be brave and ask to sit with people at meals. Initiate group study sessions. Share snacks. Be friendly and open to everyone and you will be fine!
One thing to think about as you search for schools, is how they organize housing for new 10th graders. Are they put in their own dorm? a freshman dorm? a mixed dorm with a section of new sophomores? How is your roommate assigned & is a single an option if you want one? We found that this varies quite a bit by school, so it’s a good question to ask.
Remember that your advisor is a powerful resource - they can answer your questions and help you navigate your new school.
My son is a “true” freshmen but there are a ton of repeat freshmen as well as sophomores at his school, so it is very common for kids to be a year older. Making new friends is certainly a process, but just be yourself, do the things that you want to pursue, and don’t be shy about trying new things. I think at smaller schools there’s a lot of overlap – kids playing multiple sports, kids with multiple serious interests – so you have a lot of opportunity to mix with different groups of kids. I think the schools know what they are doing as far as creating an environment where you will make new and lasting friendships.
@AppleNotFar Sadly, no. I needed $46,000 in financial aid and they gave me $0.
@ThacherParent Thanks for the advice! I’m pretty shy but I think at boarding school I’ll come out of my shell more to make friends. I appreciate it.
@GMC2918 Thank you! I want to find a school with a bunch of clubs I’m interested in because I feel like that’ll help me make friends. And I’ll be sure to ask questions pertinent to this topic 
@CTMom21 That makes me feel a little better. I really do like smaller schools- for that exact reason.
Bummer, sorry to hear that. Good for you giving it another go!!! You’ll get plenty of encouragement here
@AppleNotFar Thank you!!
What about entering a school as a (repeat) junior?
Lots of people have told me it will be tough at the beginning, and now I’m scared.