making friends? (w/ a boyfriend)

Transfer Students
1

<p>Recently, as I think about being a sophomore transfer, I have been getting really worried that it'll be hard to make friends. I have been put in a single in a dorm that houses mostly sophs and juniors and I'm just worried that everyone will all ready have set social groups.</p>

<p>Also I have a week of orientation while my soon-to-be-long-distance boyfriend will be at home, about 40 minutes from my new school and he was thinking about spending a night or two with me because it'll be the last time for a month we'd be able to do so. I'm just worried that'll make me seem like the girl who is completely dependent on her boyfriend and that him visiting me at school will also prevent me from completely assimilating into a group of friends. (He says if I tell them all my parents didn't let me see him and we won't see each other for a while one night would be fine and he could just come up when I am planning on sleeping, which wouldn't be a big deal because I have a single)</p>

<p>What do you guys think of all of this? I know that I shouldn't keep thinking about it because it'll just add to the stress and I should wait and see but I just wanted some other opinions. Thanks so much!</p>

2

<p>wesleyan? you have absolutely nothing to worry about..theres what- 3000 kids there? You'll make really close friends without even trying to make friends..</p>

3

<p>thats like high school. and be prepared to break up with your boyfriend. it wont last.</p>

4

<p>dear god burgler dont be so pessimistic. I know a couple that has been long distance over the past couple years cuz of college and they actually just got engaged. Though rare, things can work out, especially when 2 people are actually committed. </p>

<p>As for the situation presented in the first post, there really should not be a problem with having a boyfriend visiting for a night or two. Plenty girls in the dorm I stayed in had visits during the first week. As long as you arent with him 24/7 and blowing off college friends and work for him, its all good. When you live within 100 yards of 500 of your peers its really hard to not make friends.</p>

5

<p>from a single guy's perspective..</p>

<p>if i recently met you, someone would probably end up facebook-ing one another at some point in time. as a result, i will notice that you are in a relationship. we will definitely be friends and continue to be friends of course, just nothing more.</p>

<p>also, it's good for your social life that he doesn't go the same school. if that were the case, it would seem like you were totally dependent on your boyfriend and vice-versa if you were an incoming transfer.</p>

<p>for all new students that are single (transfer and freshmen), it's a good idea not to get involved in a NEW relationship during your first year at a new school. it becomes pretty difficult to make friends when you're spending most of your time with them. yeah, you can join the group of friends that your boyfriend/girlfriend is in, but when things go wrong, expect things to get weird.</p>

<p>okay, i've begun to ramble.. but you shouldn't have a problem making new friends with a boyfriend back home. like burgler09 said, things will get rough. you are going to meet (most likely) more attractive, intelligent, and ambitious guys than your boyfriend.. not that your boyfriend aren't those things.. but you're going to be in a totally new environment. 40 minutes isn't that much, but you're going to go through some exciting changes in your life, while your boyfriend is stuck at home, and you'll be spending A LOT of time with new people, especially guys.</p>

<p>anyway, they say one month of a friendship in college equates to a whole year of friendship elsewhere. you'll be surprised how close you get to some of these people. don't listen to me.. but speaking from experience, i find that girls that enter college with a relationship have to deal with a lot of hard times. they ALWAYS have to set time aside at night to talk on the phone, guys are jealous (which will make you feel bad whenever you hang out with guys, etc.), and if single guys like myself thought we had a connection between us.. it would never happen since you have a boyfriend. therefore, it's a missed opportunity.</p>

<p>haha okay i'll stop :]</p>

6

<p>I made it over the past year with a girlfriend.</p>

<p>If you're worried about what other people will think of your boyfriend staying over and whatever then you obviously aren't very serious and it probably won't last very long.</p>

7

<p>girl with boyfriend = challenge, not unattainable. it's no fun if a girl is easy.</p>

8

<p>haha, thanks everyone for your help. this isn't really an issue of whether i should stick with my bf, but maybe I just worded it wrong. I was wondering:</p>

<p>how challenging making friends as a sophomore transfer would be (as in is everyone else already too set in social groups/meeting people)</p>

<p>if it would be a bad idea to have my bf up for orientation for one night (as in it would prevent me from making friends because i would get too comfortable having him there/ it would make me seem like i wasn't open to making friends because all I cared about was my boyfriend - which absolutely isn't true, but I'm worried how others would take it)</p>

<p>anyway, thanks so much for all the replies! :)</p>

9

<p>look, if you really feel like you emotionally need him there, than you should. It may be nice for your boyfriend to spend a few hours with you in your new environment. Perhaps, bringing him for a little bit could help transition your relationship, because surely, things are going to change between the both of you. </p>

<p>But then again, if you're so worried about what people will think of you being with your boyfriend, and making friends is more important to you than your relationship, then you shouldn't bring him. I guess you really have to see where you and your boyfriend are. If its pretty serious, and you've been together for a while, it would be a good idea. If you know he's temporary, then it's best that you don't bring him.</p>

10

<p>i like this post;raw emotion.</p>

11

<p>I think for once I actually agree with NDFreak7</p>