May 3rd SAT Essay

<p>For the technology one...how are these for examples. I said that in my math class our teacher first teaches us how to do the work by hand then the calculator so that we actually know what we are doing intead of only seeing numerical values. obviously i elaborated.</p>

<p>the other one i did was that i wash my shirts by hand to make sure that they are cleaned properly. And I said that my washing machine mangled my clothes so i wanted to make sure they were done how i wanted. obviously i elaborted on that as well.</p>

<p>did anyone get this essay prompt?
does past incidents influence the present?</p>

<p>i filled the two pages completely.my examples were galileo's clash with church and how it still affects the present science and pastuer's clash with spontaneous generation theory.i thought this was the best essay i have ever written.last time i got 10.</p>

<p>^ Yea, one of my friends got that prompt and so did timothyandrew from here.
Your essay topic was so much easier than that technology bollox.
Baah.</p>

<p>I liked the tech one :P, no thinking involved for me. I just got to writing.</p>

<p>how about for these examples:
-peopel getting fatter b/c they use cars instead of walk
-Thoreau living on walden pond for 2 years so he was able to improve spiritually and get in touch with nature etc.
-technology kinda leads to pride like the Europeans when they started conquering other countries which led to moral depravity because they thought they were better and killed a lot of people from other countries and enslaved them etc. and also lots of Europeans kidnapped by Indians in America didn't want to return to white society cuz it sucks</p>

<p>^ I'd say a 9 at least. (But how did you manage to get a central thesis for those examples...?) They all point to different things... (i.e. people getting lazy, people staying in touch with nature, and people losing their morality... ) Did you just say that avoiding tech has benefits? In that case, I don't think that's a very remarkable thesis, but it'll work (depends on the reader, maybe I'm being too anal here). How many pages? If full 2, I'd say definitely 9 and above.</p>

<p>@RDarin, I spent 5 minutes thinking. What were your examples?</p>

<p>i said: technology is bad when it takes us away from our natural side...something about us being part of nature and when technology takes us away from that too much, it is harmful. we were made biologically to do things like walking and stuff that makes us healthy, but when we deviate from nature it becomes unhealthy.</p>

<p>haha idk it was clearer when i was writing it =)</p>

<p>yeah my examples that i listed up there weren't exactly that clear</p>

<p>^ Hm, only your 2nd example and your 3rd example <em>slightly</em> relate to that (morality = nature of human). </p>

<p>I don't know, maybe the readers will overlook that.</p>

<p>how does it not relate?
thesis: technology is harmful when it takes you away from nature, and natural things are beneficial b/c they make you healthier and happier.</p>

<p>Walden pond: guy escaping the debilitating effects of technology by living out in the wild for 2 years, therefore increasing his spiritual connection with nature as well as becoming happier and more at peace with himself.
third example: People found that Native American society, which is at peace with nature, to be a calmer and happier society rather than with the Europeans, who were fighting nature because they had all their technology and so did not benefit from the good things that nature had to offer. And since people would rather live with the Indians, it shows that living with nature makes you happier and more tranquil etc.</p>

<p>^ Narcissa, you edited your post ... you didn't mention unhealthy before.</p>

<p>oh sorry :) i dont remember exactly what i wrote!! haha :P</p>

<p>Thesis was People being lazy / stressed</p>

<p>Used personal experience & related it to my grandparent's generation not having technology and how they weren't stressed/overweight</p>

<p>Talked about amish folk, and how they live a healthy stress free lifestyle without technology. - tried to think of a book I read that related to them, couldn't <em>shrug</em></p>

<p>Used Animal Farm, moved away from my thesis a bit, but I had a nice paragraph on the use of technology to control people through propaganda & talking about the new technology that will save everyone hard work / labor, the windmill, and how ultimately it doesn't help anyone but the upper class.</p>

<p>Narcissa: I think your topics are great. IDK, but I think the key is how well you expressed your ideas, not what ideas you had at the time. At least that's the way it is supposed to work. It is a writing test, not an 'idea' test. Even if you have pretty mundane ideas, if you can express them with clarity it should be OK. </p>

<p>When my D told me about this topic, my first reaction was- well you could point out the fact that the SAT essay was being written in pencil and paper! She used the Amish as one of her examples.</p>

<p>Hooray for using Amish as an example :P (see above, I did too :) )</p>

<p>@ RDarin - Those are good examples, and support your thesis right. But the Animal Farm... hm, that's a risk. How long was your essay?</p>

<p>@vicariousparent - LOL, that was EXACTLY what my dad said. hahaha.</p>

<p>Yeah Feed, I felt I needed to use some sort of book example, that's what I came up with :. I had like 2 lines left.</p>

<p>Okay, if you had a good flowy essay, respectable vocab, and varying sentence structure, definitely a 9. I wrote a really bad essay last time and got an 8. It was about 1.5 pages long too.</p>

<p>i hope i dont get a nine cuz thats what i got 3 years ago =(</p>

<p>^ If you think you did better, then you know you'll get above 9. :)
I think you will... (I said at least a 9).</p>

<p>Could you score this please? I supported it, and I said the following:</p>

<p>Safety: While modern technology helps us get around quicker, there are still harms to using it. I used the MagLev Train Disaster in France form last year and the South African Airways crash, both of which were caused due to faulty equipment. </p>

<p>Privacy: Used 1984 by Orwell to show harms of excessive use of technology in society (telescreens). </p>

<p>Health: America has an obesity crisis. Gone are the days when schoolchildren walked in groups to schools; now they use the bus. Everywhere we go, whether it is down the street, or a just around the block, is now by car or bus. We used to be able to lose weight from manual work, now we cannot. Example 2: While pharma drugs help save many lives, there is still is no foolproof method for knowing full effects. Used Vioxx and Baycol (both faulty drugs that caused deaths).</p>

<p>Society: Familial ties are being broken down. Dinnertime used to be a time when we discussed the day's events with our family. Now it has become American Idol and SportsCenter time. This is leading to a less tight familial structure. Advent of technology like TV has caused this.</p>

<p>Thanks</p>