I am looking for advice on transitioning to college from parents of students with identified mental illness. What did you/your child look for in terms of support services from colleges? How much information did you reveal to either the disability office or the college counseling department? What sort of safety plans did you put into place? What worked for you? What do you wish you had done differently? What unexpected obstacles did you encounter?
A college or university is in the business of providing education. It is not a health care organization. My first piece of advise is to pound that thought into your head because it will help you and your child set realistic expectations for university services.
What do you tell disability services; Everything they need to know in order to provide appropriate accommodations under the law. From your psychiatrist or licensed clinical psychologist, disability services is likely to need a diagnosis, an explanation of how learning/functioning is affected, and what accommodations might be helpful. There can be plenty that an institution can provide. There’s the standard testing stuff, if appropriate, but also things like permission for late drops, permission to remain in the dorms if you fall below full-time. However, do not expect that you get everything that might be helpful as some of those items may not be reasonable.For instance, you probably can’t get extra excused absences, but you might be able get priority registration to keep you out of many early classes if your meds make you sleepy.
What you tell counseling services is a bit trickier. Is your student going to use them? Are they limited to a certain number of sessions? College counseling services are absolutely fabulous for dealing with adjustment issues and wellness issues and screenings. You need regular, ongoing care? I think you’d be best to avoid campus counseling and find a private provider in the community. Lots of pressure on counseling offices to avoid the next outbreak of campus violence or the black eye that a suicide will cause. Think about it this way, would you go to college and expect the PA at student health to take over the management of your diabetes or would you want a specialist? Psychiatry is a specialty. Don’t expect your college to be able to manage your care.
Not sure what you mean by safety plans.
What do I wish we’d done differently? Got more testing sooner. Encouraged the student to push harder against faculty who resisted accommodations (only a few, but still…)
Obstacles? Nothing that was education or college specific, but there are always obstacles.
It may be worth looking for something close to home so you can monitor and also help out easily if necessary. Also s/he can continue with existing health care providers.
I would love to keep her close to home. Unfortunately, there aren’t any schools nearby that offer her desired major. I have been trying to encourage a gap year, because I think an extra year of stability and maturity would be helpful, but she really isn’t interested.
My son has attended two colleges, and both were very helpful. We gave them proof of his diagnosis, and then they approved the accommodations we asked for (extra time on tests, special room for tests, extra time for homework if needed, note taker). Whenever my son ran into any glitches with registering for classes or anything else, the office for students with disabilities would help him immediately.
What I’d wished we done? You won’t like this answer, but I wish we’d brought him home sooner than we did. He struggled too much when he was away. But he is VERY ill, so your D’s situation may be different.
@IlamBehini : Search these forums…See how many stories there are about kids with special needs that ended up having to come home.
Most freshman have trouble adjusting to college/being on their own. You may not realize how having a familar home/school/routing/support helps your child cope. All of a sudden, there is no mom getting you up, no breakfast that you always have, no one checking if you are in class, helping you plan your homework, driving you places, making you get to your Dr appts, picking up your medication,etc etc.
So based on how much support your child needs, think of different options.
Gap year where they are gaining independence?
Start at Community College and transfer?
Find a local college but do a different /related major?
Find a college with a support program?
Talk to your child about more supervision/support at first and then backing off?
And as we know by now, there is another incidence of campus violence…
Bopper - your suggestions are all good ones. I have tried to encourage my daughter to think about a gap year but she is really insistent about starting college “on time.” She is currently taking classes at our community college through dual enrollment. I see lots of upside to another year at home taking CC classes to ease the transition but she has no interest in going that route. My daughter is in a good place for the first time in years, and while I would love to believe that the worst is behind us, I am not naive.
What’s so special about the major? Kids fixate on nomenclature- we see a LOT of posts that say, “I can’t find any college within 200 miles that has a neuroscience major” or “I need a university with a department of International Relations”. Guess what- major in bio with a minor in psychology, or major in history with a minor in political science or econ.
What major is it and where do you live???
What does her current psychiatrist and/or psychotherapist think?
“Mental illness” covers a broad swathe, just like physical illness - there’s a difference between having a sore throat and having tuberculosis. It’s hard to comment without knowing the specific “strain” and severity.
“And as we know by now, there is another incidence of campus violence…”
That’s a little offensive. There are plenty of people who have garden variety depression or anxiety who aren’t in the least risks for harming others ( or even themselves),
The major is an agricultural sub-specialty. Our flagship state university (1.5 hours from home) has an ag school, and she could do something close to what she is looking for there, but I am concerned that the enormous size of the school and its social focus on binge drinking, greek life, and football make it a really bad fit for her. A small school would be a better fit, but smaller schools with agricultural majors are rare, and very few located in our part of the country.
As for the illness, it is major depression and anxiety. Severe enough to have required hospitalizations in the past.
That’ sky point, @Pizzagirl . Campuses can become so fixated on headline events that their employees can and do overreact to situations that really are dangerous. It’s why I don,t trust them for treatment of illnesses beyond screening for them.
An Ag speciality that could be part of a smaller U’s chem department? Zoology/Agronomy/Plant science? Supply Chain management with a focus on food production? Nutrition Science? Plain vanilla biology with a minor in environmental science/sustainability???
There are a lot of ways to slice the bologna. Agree with your concerns about a big U if you’re not sure she’s ready to be away from home…
You might want to look into whether there are smaller units that she can belong to within the large university. For example, some large universities have interest-based housing programs or living-learning communities. Many of these have staff, grad students, or professors living among the students.
I am answering this question from a faculty and supervisor in a university psychological clinic. The college choice for someone who has been diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression is best made with the student, parent, and current therapist working together. Questions such as what are the student’s triggers, what type of resources psychological, social, and educational need to be in place. It is important that resources within the university and the university town be throughly investigated. At a state u, there may be more than one place she can receive services as a psychology or social work, or counseling department may have a training clinic where graduate students in these disciplines see clients. Would a graduate student be an appropriate therapist for this student? At a smaller college, the issue may be the size of the counseling center staff. Indeed, some small colleges and some larger ones as well only do brief treatment (6-8 sessions). Many recommend that if the problems are long standing , a therapist from the community be used. Also, depending on the U, there may be an anxiety or depression clinic. Again, working with her current therapist, a referral should be made and the records transferred before she gets to campus.
Depression and anxiety are part of the freshman year experience. Therefore, it may be wise in consultation with her therapist to have her participate in some type of transitions group this year. The goal of the group would be to prepare her for the emotional aspects and stressors of college.
Make sure you know al that a university has available for a student with documented anxiety and depression. Student disability services, support and therapy groups, “dry” activities. Also local hotlines/crisis centers and the nearest hospital .
Again, I must stress the importance of the current therapist’s role in helping you sort through the right college choice for your child academically, socially, and emotionally. While it will not guarantee her successful transition it will certainly increases the likelihood of it happening.
I do not have a student who suffers from mental illness. However, my kids have friends who have suffered and gone on to college. I have seen kids be successful and unsuccessful in the transition. I think that a large part of success has to do with the child’s ability to deal with their mental illness on their own. If you child needs a lot of your support to deal with her illness I would urge you to keep her close to home. If she is able to deal with the ups and downs of her illness independently then she may be able to go away to school.
If she had a serious physical illness that required your assistance there would be no question about keeping her close. You would just do it. Mental illness is no different. If she has some anxiety/depression issues that she can deal with independently then she needs to learn to do that. If she has serious bipolar issues she may not ever be able to be independent. You don’t have to disclose her issues here but I hope you know what I am saying to you.
You know deep down whether she can live independently. Follow your gut.
I think the input of treatment team members is imperative and frankly more so than the opinions of random CC folks who do t know your daughter. Maybe it would be helpful to say what they think is appropriate/not and why and then we can be of more help. Best of wishes. I was hospitalized for depression years ago and have had other family members with other situations. This is likely way more common than you think.
One more thing, and I’m really not trying to be a Debbie Downer, I swear, but…She’s hitting the age where things manifest. She’s got depression and anxiety, and that may be the end of the story, but it’s not unheard of, over the course of the young adult years, for those diagnoses to evolve. We were in a situation where the first thing to appear was depression. Three years later, that was not the definitive diagnosis. The depression is actually secondary to something else. This possible evolution is a really good reason to keep the kid close, although not necessarily at home.
In my kid’s case, she never missed a class. Had a great game face. Nobody in a position to intervene would have known anything was wrong, but we did, and long-time therapist did. Pulling her out of school would have been a terrible option as she needed that reason to keep moving–as a speaker at our last conference warned, “Stop overestimating the value of sitting in a room and doing nothing.” (Did I mention I work under the campus disability officer? Hence, the conference.) Being close meant staying in school because she could be monitored. That’s not the case for everybody as it depends how sick the student is and from what the student suffers.