<p>soozievt and proudmom- I agree.</p>
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<p>That’s well said. </p>
<p>If a person is going to stay home with kids, it seems like the time to do that is when they are young rather their senior year of high school. I don’t think kids learn nearly as much from their parents the last year of high school as compared to early years of childhood.</p>
<p>Reading about people’s lives just gives us a small snapshot of their reality, and only what the writer desires us to see. It is hard to be judgemental when I’m sure we could all look back at choices we have made and realize where we could have done better. Many families do things differently than many of us would. If we treated our kids like our parent’s generation did, it would now be considered neglect, not admirably letting the kids do things for themselves.</p>
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Ouch - I think that’s a harsh assessment. I’d never presume to know why a woman chose to stay home, or didn’t (and isn’t that debate over and done with yet?), at any age. If everyone in a family is happy with a parent’s choice to be home - at any time, for any reason - why not? If the kids are saying, “Mom, back off,” or if the parents need both incomes, then returning home is probably not going to work for that family. But perhaps the family in question saw the student’s senior year as a last opportunity to spend meaningful time together. Perhaps the mother initially returned to work because the family needed the money (maybe to save for college?), or she had benefits and her partner didn’t, or for many other personal and significant reasons. </p>
<p>I think it’s unfair to decide that a woman who returns to work when her children are little does so because “she doesn’t care enough.” And I was a happy SAHM for many years. But as busdriver points out so well in post 23, we can’t know the whole story about families other than our own.</p>
<p>Personally, I think the news value here was fairly questionable, and that the writer/editor wanted to churn out yet another “can you believe parents today?” piece.</p>
<p>[Moms</a> quit jobs for their child’s college dreams - CNN.com](<a href=“Moms quit jobs for their child's college dreams - CNN.com”>Moms quit jobs for their child's college dreams - CNN.com)</p>
<p>Kajal Kumar knows the value of a good education. She’s a career woman who poured years of her life into studying to become a certified public accountant with an MBA.</p>
<p>But after nearly two decades climbing the corporate ladder in New York, the 46-year-old stopped managing employees and began micromanaging her two daughters. </p>
<p>Instead of overseeing company accounts, Kumar organizes piano lessons, SAT preparation courses and Advanced Placement class homework assignments. She wants to give her daughters a shot at a top-notch college education.</p>
<p>“I had a very good, promising career,” Kumar said. "But it wasn’t as important as making sure my kids did well and just setting them up for …etc</p>
<p>Feels unnecessary to me. Quit your job to micromanage the daughter’s application process? Good god, my D might not talk to me again after that :-)</p>
<p>Seriously, it’s a lot of work - but I don’t think one needs to quit their job to do this. There are several moms (and dads) on this forum that could attest to this.</p>
<p>What is this woman going to say or do if her children don’t meet her sky high expectations? Furthermore, does she plan on going to college with them? A lot of kids will do things if you stand right over them, but if they’ve never been given a chance to develop personal initiative, they will fall on their faces when mom’s not there propping them up. </p>
<p>The decision whether to work or to stay home with kids is a very personal one with lots of variables, but it’s a mistake to assume that your “sacrifices” will have a definite concrete payoff in terms of college admissions, etc. That assumption places an intolerable burden on a child to make your own existence worthwhile.</p>
<p>Interesting article. I think it shows how complicated the admissions process has become that kids need parents to “manage” it. But I do wonder how effectively either of my kids could handle all the deadlines, EA/ED/RD decisions, College Board stuff including the new score choice, college visits and choosing where to actually apply. Then, financial aid apps if they need that. It’s a lot of work.</p>
<p>We seem to see one article of this type each year. Last year it was a dad in Texas, if memory serves.</p>
<p>Sorry to be pessimistic, but when I read this, my first thought was, “so she quit her job so they could get more fin aid???” </p>
<p>I know, bitterness doesn’t always look pretty. </p>
<p>But yeah, this mom is going for overkill I’d say…</p>
<p>abasket,
the cynic in me thought the same thing ;)</p>
<p>Seems absolutely upside-down to me. Why didn’t she quit her job when they were toddlers and set them up for success early on?</p>
<p>That’s what we did and now - 18 years later - we didn’t even feel a need to read DD’s essays.</p>
<p>I can understand people who want to homeschool, but this goes beyond.</p>
<p>Would it have been over kill for a woman to stay home in order to take her kid to Mom/kid play, Jymboree, reading, soccer, ballet…We all seem to think it is perfectly fine for a woman to give up her professional job (doctor, lawyer, investment banker, teacher…) to spend time with their young children., but this seem to be raising few eye brows. I personally think the toughest time with kids (or when they need you the most) is from 12-18.</p>
<p>For me, my kids come before our jobs. My H and I decided to have him work from home so he could drive/supervise our kids while they were in HS. I worked from home for 10 years when they were younger. It had an impact on my career and it was a sacrifice. I didn’t want all the effort we have put into our daughters to go to waste by not be there on the home stretch. That’s why I asked my H to put his job on a back burner.</p>
<p>Perhaps she has made enough money, so she feels that she can retire. Perhaps she wants to increase her Ds’ chances for more merit money or at a school that meets full need, but doesn’t say so. Perhaps she is tired of her job and came up with this as an excuse “to bow out gracefully”. Who knows, but I really don’t see anything wrong with what she is doing. It is her decision. I wonder if her children “need all of this attention”.</p>
<p>Empty nest may hit hard with such a scenario.</p>
<p>She says she’s going back to work in the article.</p>
<p>If I or the spouse ever did something like this, we sure as heck wouldn’t agree to be interviewed about it. So the mom is going to go back to work, but any potential employer googling her name is going to find the story, and see that she has another kid in high school coming up on the college search. Not the best strategy for maximizing your employability.</p>
<p>I considered the FA angle, but it’s more than likely that the father’s income alone (not to mention the family’s financial holdings) puts them out of reach of FA regardless.</p>
<p>Oldfort #34: “I personally think the toughest time with kids (or when they need you the most) is from 12-18.”</p>
<p>There is some truth in this. However, the problem I have with this particular mother’s rationale is that she quit her job to take care of things that, by this point, ought to be largely the children’s province. You don’t need to be available all the time to be sure your children are signed up for all the relevant tests, etc. You can arrange for transport to EC’s without running a personal taxi service. You can do research on colleges and scholarships and take trips. However, to make your children’s college search a full-time “job” distorts the process, not only for you, but for them as well. </p>
<p>Again, I don’t judge any mother for working or not working per se. If she wanted to quit because she was sick of her job, or wanted to spend more time with her kids before they went away (I’ve heard of this happening), fine. But frankly, if her kids need that much help getting into college, then they are probably not ready to go!</p>
<p>I’m not advocating this, but would the reaction have been as harsh for the same parent who had stayed at her job and hired private tutors for SAT prep, homework etc., and a consultant to manage the collage application and essay process. There are a certain percentage of people who do this. This parent simply felt that either she was best qualified to do this, didn’t want a hired professional to spend this time with her children, or an number of other reasons. Again, I’m not saying I agree to the extremes, but who’s to say what is right? The only reason this family made the paper is because the parent left her job to do it herself, instead of outsourcing.</p>
<p>As a CPA, I am sure she can do the math and see that for just a few thousand in FA grants it does not pay to give up an apparently successful career. She might be shooting for her daughters to get full tuition scholarships though. I would think that there is more to the story because one would think that she could hire out all of the help her Ds need (ie: tutors, driver to get to ECs, music lessons at home). I know lots of families who hire people to take care of their children’s transportation, tutoring, and college research. She has chosen to be hands on with her daughters and not to work.</p>
<p>blueiguana, I cross posted with you.</p>