It’s pinned to the top of the main Parent Cafe:
I started to read it a few years ago, but BS parents have had a head start on this topic.
@twinsmama I would tell you to come visit in Texas and escape the cold, but it’s been just as cold her as up north this winter. You’re still more than welcome to come! I’ll even loan you one of our dogs!
Time to take up golf - the sun, the outdoors, the activity…and it’s sometimes almost as frustrating as living with kids can be.
I highly recommend the old car hobby. You know, to burn up what little money you might have after BS tuition and ramen.
@dogsmama1997 A puppy would sure solve all my problems, wouldn’t it? But that will have to wait until I retire or at least work from home. Besides, if I get an adult dog, I can blame his failings on someone else (like our late lamented Teddy, who was never socialized to other dogs and thus went his whole life without friendly interaction with his own species). But another dog will have to wait; right now, I would probably have to get a new husband before a new dog, and I had enough trouble finding the first one! 
Anyone who gets anything useful from the empty nest thread, please let me know. I had to stop after too many sanctimonious posts from certain people about how they had TOO MANY activities to choose from and if you aren’t just as busy and - ahem - fulfilled, it is your OWN FAULT. Well, of course it is, but that’s not what I’m reading CC for! (I must admit to feeling a slight thrill when I realized a particularly annoying person of that genre had been banned.)
I appreciate the warnings of other threads!!! I thought these threads got saucy until I unknowingly ventured into the dark college side of the forum. No thank you!! I need respectful people to deal with…I have enough sauciness at work! Nobody’s got time for that nonsense!!!
Yep, I’ve been whipped by the maelstrom over there more than once. The BS journey does not parallel well with what the other side posts. Much safer over here.
I must admit to feeling a slight thrill when I ban such a person. >:)
The empty nest thread becomes less annoying as it progresses. And it led me on a sidetrack to a hilarious thread about mothers-in-law visiting (something I never had to deal with as MIL was local, was kept strictly under control by my husband, and has departed this earth…actually I quite liked her as a MIL, but she unfortunately was not a very good mother to my husband).
I haven’t ventured over to the college threads yet, thankfully I still have a couple years to wait. Although the one thread that was moved to this page a few weeks back (girl from Baltimore who was trying to convince her parents to let her apply to BS) was enough to turn me off from venturing to other pages. So many rude and insulting comments from people who don’t understand the boarding school world. I’m perfectly happy staying here :-h
Careful - they monitor the “Latest Posts” tab and will find us talking about them. We aren’t safe! b-(
There seems to be good college information over there for lurkers, but posters beware.
Actually, I never found any college information over there that wasn’t covered better and in more relevant detail during the college admissions process at Choate. College admissions expertise is a big part of what you get at the schools discussed on this forum, and I would take targeted advantage of that. By senior year, your child’s school will know your child as a student better than you do; don’t lose sight of that. IMO, any questions you are afraid to ask of your child’s school (and there should be none) should be posed here on the BS forums first for input from students and parents who have or are experiencing this unique path. If you still aren’t satisfied, take those questions back to your child’s school as only their answers matter. So much of what is discussed on the other side is irrelevant or does not align well with the boarding school paradigm. I found those forums good for a casual skim, but not terribly enlightening given what we already had at our disposal.
They are helpful in knowing when decisions are released (if you have a kid who might not think to tell you!)
I actually learned a lot from the “dark side” of the forum. As it turned out, I had to be very involved in helping my kids make college lists, more than I had anticipated, and I had to be attentive to our particular financial issues in a way that our college counselor could not entirely grasp.
Perhaps the Choate process is different but in my experience, a college counselor assigned junior year will not know my child better than me by senior year. Like @twinsmama, we have found the private school college counseling to be minimally helpful given our specific financial and educational priorities. This isn’t a complaint - I think its important for the student to take ownership of the process and work with his/her parents to find the best fit.
No school will know your child better than you do. I said that, after four years, they will know your child as a student better than you do. If they don’t, something’s amiss in my book. Perhaps it’s not as true for day students where parents may have a sense of their child’s schoolwork and academic days but, for us across the country, we had no firsthand knowledge of ChoatieKid’s classwork, homework, projects, work habits, etc. We only knew for sure which courses he was taking when we saw the term reports. His teachers knew him very well, and his CC knew him even better. YMMV.
Tabor starts the kids in their college counseling program on a limited basis as 9th graders. As 10th graders they are encouraged to attend school fairs before being formally assigned an advisor as an 11th grader.
TA’s advisors spent a lot more time getting to know the kids and their interests and priorities. A big change from Brand X. Parking a kid in front of Naviance and asking for a list is not college advising…
Just my perspective but I wouldn’t want my child attending college fairs in 10th grade. I personally think it is too early. Teens change a lot at that age and I think it contributes to anxiety and stress around the college process. I believe everything in its time. All these kids are going to college if they want to do so and there are plenty of good choices. It’s not that difficult and doesn’t need to be a multi-year process to have good outcomes.
^DS is annoyed at the amount of college mail he’s getting here at home…his response being “why won’t they leave me alone? I’m only a sophomore” I am flying up to see him tomorrow for the long weekend and have continuously slipped each letter/package in the suitcase. After that comment, I asked him if he just wanted me to toss them all. He said ‘No, I want to see them, but they really should not be doing this so soon’. I wonder how much pressure the schools put on them to select “name” colleges to attend in order to help the school profile…
Anyway, best part of this is in T-24 I see my boy!!!
I also think it is best to avoid the unasked for solicitations (and it’ll save some trees!). To do so, your kids should not fill out all the personal data on the PSAT/SAT and should not check off the box that allows the College Board to make $$ by selling your name. Better to formulate a list based on your own needs and preferences. Buy a Fiske Guide (or borrow it from your library) and page through that instead.