Misdemeanor conviction? I need some advice, please!

Parents Forum
1

<p>Okay, so, this needs a bit of explanation first. So about a month or so ago, I needed to pay for my AP tests. Well, my parents and I got into a stupid argument, and they refused to pay (after having previously agreed to pay). Well, the money was due THAT day, and I didn't know what to do. So basically, I took all I had and was still like $150 short. Sooo, I went into my parents' room when they left for work and took the rest from my father. I know, it was stupid but I had intended to pay my parents back immediately (like a day or so). Anyway, my father noticed because it had been in his safe and I apparently did not close the safe in the correct way (it's really rather strange). But anyway, once he found out he was extremely angry, but not as angry as when my mother found out... She was so mad that she ended up yelling at me for over an hour, and when I tried to defend myself she said "That's it. I'm calling the police" AND SHE ACTUALLY CALLED THE POLICE! (Note: in my defense, the money had also been in an envelope with my name on it). </p>

<p>Well, a police man came and I was arrested... no joke... and sat in the back of the police car for like an hour. Anyway, my mother insisted I go to jail, but the police officer ended up writing me a citation instead. Apparently, in my state this is a Class-A Misdemeanor and I have to go to court next month. </p>

<p>So, what exactly does this mean? How are my chances going to be affected (in regards to college)? I don't turn 18 until August of 2013, like 9 months after applying to colleges, so I cannot get it expunged before then. Is it possible that I won't be charged with a misdemeanor? What should I do about this? Honestly, I believe my parents are completely overreacting- this issue should have stayed a domestic one. I've NEVER broken the law before or anything even remotely close to that. And it's not like I was shoplifting or something- I took money from my parents, that they had originally agreed to give me in the first place, that had MY name on it. </p>

<p>What's is potentially worse is that I'm applying to universities in Europe mostly (UK and Switzerland), so I am assuming that a legal offense will be taken even more seriously there (since I would be an international student). </p>

<p>Ahhh, any advice? </p>

<p>And if my parents ever become rational again and realize that a criminal offense could seriously screw me over (especially since they want me to get a job this summer...), is it possible for them to cancel the court date? Like, are my parents pressing charges against me, or is the state? I really have no idea how this works :(</p>

<p>Also, how soon can I have this expunged? Since I won't be applying to college until next year, is it possible to have it sealed (if possible) during the summer before starting the college admissions process?</p>

<p>And just a few general questions:
1.) I have a court date in a few weeks. Is there going to be like a jury and the whole works?
2.) Will I have a lawyer?
3.) Is it possible that I won't have a misdemeanor charge on my record?
4.) Are my parents the ones who are pressing charges against me, or is the state?
5.) If I have to do community service, is it going to be something really embarrassing that's assigned to me (basically what I mean is, will the institution/people I'm doing community service for know that I'm doing the community service because I'm a "criminal", or will I be able to choose the service?)</p>

<p>Thanks very, very much in advance for any help provided!</p>

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<p>No advice, just wishing you luck</p>

3

<p>Sorry to hear about your situation.</p>

<ol>
<li><p>The court date is an arraignment. You are not being tried. You are there to plead guilty/not guilty. Definitely do not plead guilty but rather ask for a public defender.</p></li>
<li><p>The arraignment is the time/place to ask for a public defender. (I don’t think your parents are going to pay for a private attorney to represent you?) You need representation and should qualify since you are a student and don’t have any income. You’re the one accused of a crime, not your parents.</p></li>
<li><p>Worst case, it’s a possible outcome depending on a lot of factors. First of all the DA would have to file the charges though. But who knows if he will. The public defender may be able to work something out with the DA. </p></li>
<li><p>It’s out of your parents’ hands now. It’s up to the DA. He could very well opt to not file charges.</p></li>
<li><p>You could ask for some sort of deferral of judgement program where you do community service in lieu of a conviction.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>Good luck and I hope this gets resolved quickly.</p>

4

<p>In what state are you located? Maybe a parent on the forum is an attorney there and can give you good answers rather than the (albeit well-meaning) speculation you’d get from the rest of us.</p>

<p>If I were your father, I wouldn’t be very happy with you. If I were the police officer, the county attorney, or the judge, I wouldn’t be very happy with your mother. Hang in there.</p>

5

<p>I would ask your attorney (public defender?) for any outcome that will allow you to NOT have this on your record as a criminal conviction. Many states have programs that delete the record after a certain amount of good behavior. You might have to delay applying abroad until after that time has elapsed so you can get a student visa, most countries ask about criminal records and can decline you for any reason they wish, so I would not want to muck up the application showing a conviction.</p>

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<p>I cannot believe the police and the DA are wasting their time and the taxpayer’s money getting involved in a family dispute. They should have recommended a family counselor and told your mother and father to work this out privately. Your parents seem to have gone off the deep end and the public authorities are willing pawns in your parent’s act of vengeance. Since you are a minor, I would hire an attorney and have the court compel the parents to pay the legal costs. I am not sure if this is possible, but it would certainly serve them right for causing this unnecessary burden for you.</p>

7

<p>Can you beg your parents’ forgiveness, ask them how you can make it up to them…and they drop the charges?</p>

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<p>If I was in the same situation as the OP, I would look forward to the day when I didn’t need these crazy parents. Unfortunately, there are parents who hurt their children without any thought of the emotional scars their children will have to deal with for the rest of their lives. Hopefully, you will someday be able to separate from them without a lifetime of anger and bitterness. In the meantime, you may have to hire an attorney, possibly a public defender, to have these charges dropped. Do not agree to proceed without some help from a third party. I would love to see a family counselor get involved, because it seems like your family needs help.</p>

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<p>The charges are brought up by the District Attorney. The parents only file the complaint. The decisions are then out of the hands of the victims. It does happen that one party will file a complaint against another (real or not) to get back at them for something that they may or may not have done, and then try to get the charges dropped when they realize the impact of what they have done. At that point, they have no control of the situation as the gears of the criminal justice system grind away.</p>

<p>In this particular case, it seems to me that the police did their best to try to avoid a complaint and charges but it appears that the mother insisted and they do have to observe the law when someone wants to file a complaint. I do agree that this was a waste of taxpayer money. Our kids have had access to our checking account for many years - if they need something, they are welcome to it. Neither has ever taken a cent out of the checking account. But it’s there if they need it.</p>

<p>Consider getting a part-time job if you can swing it with your current studies. Having some financial freedom from your parents might make life a little easier in your household.</p>

10

<p>Are you still living with your parents? </p>

<p>What was their original rationale for denying you funds for AP testing? On the face of it, this makes no sense. </p>

<p>There must be other stuff going on in this house, and more to this story. </p>

<p>If the parents denied funds for AP tests just out of random malice, and then called the cops when the student took money, then I don’t think the student should have any contact with them at all, let alone live there.</p>

<p>Is there a cultural aspect to any of this? Meaning, what culture or ethnicity might influence this picture?</p>

<p>I hope that the student gets a good public defender. To the OP, you can try to talk with the assistant DA yourself. I would also maybe see if the school can get involved. They could explain the AP situation. Perhaps someone at the school knows the home situation.</p>

<p>I almost think Child Protective Services could be involved here, depending on what lies behind this situation. Is there abuse or neglect going on?</p>

11

<p>I can’t believe the police did not pull your mother aside and tell her what she was in fact doing to you by reporting you. I can’t imagine how many kids would be in the court system if all parents reported these types of thefts. You said this is the first time you have ever done anything like this and yet your parents have had you arrested. When this is all over you need to get yourself to family therapy because there is something wrong in your family. This is not a normal reaction especially if you have never done anything like this before. Your parents are aware that you took the money for your AP exams and yet they followed through with getting the police involved. The whole thing sounds so bizarre. You need to get a public defender to represent you and at this point it is out of your parents hands. I would be so shocked if the DA allowed this to continue. If they do than the DA has alot of time on his/her hands. </p>

<p>The lesson learned here is that you will never take another penny that does not belong to you…I am sorry that you had to learn it this way with such harsh reprocussions. I wish you the best of luck and I hope this does not result in a criminal record for you.</p>

12

<p>I know some of you are suprised by the parents refusing to pay for the exams, but shockingly I have heard this before. My next door neighbors, with a junior daughter, will not even pay for SAT II’s ($20 some dollars ea., luckily our school district pays for the $80 AP exams). I feel really badly for the OP in this case. </p>

<p>My advice is to work this summer and make sure you pay back your parents as soon as you can. Mostly because it will look better in court to say that you did pay them back. Apologize for your actions in court (although I understand that you did what you felt you had to), and come off as being remorseful. They would most likley conclude that a “good kid made a bad decision” and drop the charges (especially if you’ve paid them back). Not sure what year you are in school, but make sure you save any earnings this summer to pay for next year’s exams, and then college application fees. If your parents were this absurd with AP exams fees, I am guessing they will also refuse to pay for college app. fees. Good luck to you!</p>

13

<p>It sounds like your family would benefit from counseling. There seems to be a breakdown in your ability to communicate with each other. I am sure there is more to this story, but what is clear is that you are not working together as a team.
In the long term, if they balked at paying for the AP tests, are they really going to be paying for you to attend college internationally?</p>

14

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<p>The difference in this case is that OP’s parents set the expectation that they would pay for the exams.</p>

<p>This is such a bizarre case - it’s hard to understand that the parents cannot comprehend the damage that it does to their own reputations, their child’s reputation, and any costs that they have to deal with in time and money with the court system. Parents are supposed to remind kids to protect the family name. In this case, the parents are destroying the family name.</p>

15

<p>Have you taken money before without permission? Is there a history which preceded your mom’s actions?</p>

16

<p>DS has several friends whose parents put minimum grade stipulations on their payment of AP exam fees. If Friend is getting a C or lower in the class, parents won’t pay for the AP exam. Friend is welcome to pay for the exam himself.</p>

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<p>Can you explain a bit more of the backstory, op? Looking at past threads, you seem to be very focused on your AP exams and study materials, to tghe opoint that I think you said your parents wouldnt let you buy any more study materials! How many are you taking? Is there a reason your parents wanted to limit or block the payment for the exams?</p>

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<p>In addition - if your parents won’t even pay for AP exams, have you and your parents discussed the finances of college and who’ll pay what and what conditions there might be (i.e. they’ll only pay for particular colleges, majors, etc.)? You’ll need to know what your options are since they might drive which colleges you should apply to.</p>

19

<p>How is it that you knew the combination to you father’s safe?</p>

<p>Like other posters I too am very sad to hear you have a mother who would do something like this. If your mother is as irrational as you have painted her and your father is unable to stop her the only thing I can offer is that your life will improve a whole lot once you are out of your house for good.</p>

<p>Some kids have to endure having parents like this. If you can survive you will turn into one capable adult. That’s the good news, having to get through trials as a teenager makes you more able to withstand the difficulties that will hit you later in life. I wish you the best of luck.</p>