<p>OP: please don’t let your mother’s negativity influence your decision. Please chose the school that provides the highest likelihood that you can graduate in four years with the least amount of debt. Your scores (and prior GPA) suggest that you’re capable of excellent academic work. The reality is that a high achiever from UConn can accomplish anything that a high-achiever at those other named schools could. (The notion that a student must attend an elite school, or a “Top 100” school, is in reality poppycock, with perhaps, perhaps, the exception of Wall Street “high-flier” positions where an Ivy degree is sought after.)</p>
<p>Secondly, recognize that perhaps your mother doesn’t have your best interests at heart, and is emotionally conflicted about your opportunities and accomplishments. My high-functioning but negative mother didn’t, and her influence and control did serve to stymie me as a young adult. Please tune that negativity out.</p>
<p>Third, if a connection can help you gain belatedly admission to a second school, that’s good ONLY if you can afford the cost of attendance for four (or five?) years to earn that BA/BS. Please don’t let “more prestige” override affordability and likelihood of timely diploma.</p>
<p>I have to wonder if the mother is more aware of the costs of college than the OP (or many posting here). She makes <$30K/year and COA for UConn OOS is $44K/year.</p>
<p>One of my former high school friends applied to eight (easy) schools and got into all eight. She made fun of me for having fewer acceptances than she did - ignoring that I was accepted to a far better school than she applied to, and that no one with two brain cells to rub together says, MIT rejected you, you loser! </p>
<p>At least you can tell peers where to shove it. Mothers, not so much. But anyone who spends more time counting acceptances than looking at the quality of school has some problems. </p>
<p>See what the financial aid package is; do not be afraid to negotiate it. Good luck.</p>
<p>I am a black man, a father and grew up in a low income, single parent home. I was an only child and I can relate to what you’re saying but I’m going to hit you with some reality.</p>
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<li><p>It’s not your job or responsibility to uplift, support or help your whole family. That job is way too big for a teenager to do. You must uplift and educate yourself and take care of yourself first and succeed according to whatever your definition of success is and not the definition of others. I am absolute in this statement. You will one day help your family because you can and want to but never out of obligation. I realize that as a father and as a man which I didn’t have and you don’t seem to have. Bottom line: take care of you first, your future wife and kids second then all others benefit from what is left over. I told my kids they can get super rich and I will never ask for a dime but when I die, they better take care of their mother. When your mother is old, you will look out for her too. She should not burden you with emotional baggage while she is of working age.</p></li>
<li><p>Major in what you will be most happy studying but realize that most people don’t get a job directly related to their major. The more technical, specific and in demand a particular field of study is, the more likely a person will work in that field. If you want to select a major just for money, then engineering it is.</p></li>
<li><p>You have to ignore the naysaying. Before I went to college, a guy told me that I ain’t &$@;? And ain’t never gonna be &$@;?. I got other negative comments too. We have to learn to succeed in spite of that. I still get comments because I have succeeded. If you pull too far ahead of people in your family, some will expect handouts AND resent your success at the same time. It’s ironic.</p></li>
<li><p>Just a piece of personal advice…join ROTC and get your way paid for through college and do a few years as an officer in the military. I learned much about being a man there and about honor and courage and uprightness. It’s up to you but the first thing you can do to help your family is to stop being dependent on your family for support. The ROTC scholarship can help you start down that road.</p></li>
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<p>I have to wonder if the mother is more aware of the costs of college than the OP (or many posting here). She makes <$30K/year and COA for UConn OOS is $44K/year.</p>
<p>That’s my concern. As an OOS student, the OP may have a huge gap in aid. The aid will already include full federal loans. If the student and his mom (cosign) for more loans, then I don’t see how that helps the family eventually? </p>
<p>Also, we don’t know if the mom would agree (or qualify) to co-sign extra loans. We’re likely talking about too much debt. Way tooooo much debt. </p>
<p>I think this student (a NY resident) should find out if any SUNYs/CUNYs are still accepting apps and apply there. He’d likely get the aid he’d need.</p>