<p>I got deferred from an Honors Program I thought I would get into. Obviously, it's not a rejection, but I'm still pretty discouraged. When I told my mom, I made a quick comment about feeling like I should take back my applications to all of my reach schools so I wouldn't have to deal with more rejection. A few minutes later she states, "Well, with what you said earlier--about taking back apps. That's your decision. I'll support whatever you do." Seriously Mom??? I said that in a self-pitying way and was not serious; I was at an emotional low then.</p>
<p>She's always been supportive of me, but this one incident has made me question whether or not she really believes in me. What kind of mom would ever support her kid giving up and somehow taking back an application?</p>
<p>I thought the Parents board would be a good place for me to air out my thoughts. Any input? Advice? I don't want to see my mom differently because of this.</p>
<p>YOU were the one who made the comment. She took you seriously, and wanted you to know she wasn’t putting any pressure on you. You are overthinking this.</p>
<p>Stop looking for trouble. YOU said it, she is just trying to give you space to do what you want to do. You seem to have been fishing for her to say, “Oh, no, honeykins, I am SURE you will get into those schools!”. You know perfectly well she has no better idea than you do what the admissions committees will do. If you want something productive to do, seek out another match school this week and apply to make yourself feel better about being sure you have options in the spring.</p>
<p>I agree with MaineLonghorn. Do you really expect your mother to be a mind-reader? She took what you said seriously and gave a supportive answer.</p>
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<p>The kind of mom who is trying hard to treat her kid like a young adult instead of an over-dramatic adolescent.</p>
<p>Agree with all the parent who have posted so far. You said, she heard you, and she supported your decision. She allowed you the freedom to do what you felt was best. Be happy about that.</p>
<p>I have an extremely supportive mom. In tense situations, when I get all wrapped up in my head, I transfer the blame to her. In reality, she’s the completely stable one, and I’m the one with the problem. </p>
<p>We kids do that sometimes. Best thing is that you realized.</p>
<p>^ That’s completely true. You realize that you’re grown-up when you catch their mistakes and see things in a different way, and it’s both monumental and disheartening at the same time. </p>
<p>Kind of like the first time you see them cry. I remember thinking “oh my gosh, if SHE’S upset, then what am I gonna do?!”</p>
<p>From what you said, it sounds like she was being supportive. She’s saying that you’re an adult, you can make your own decisions, and that she’ll support whatever you do. She’s not saying that you should retract your applications or that you shouldn’t–just that you should do whatever you feel is right, and that she’ll support your decision.</p>
<p>That’s a good mom. Appreciate what you have, and stop looking for trouble.</p>
<p>Similar situation in our house tonight. I gently nudged that it would be a good time to work on the rest of those essays. The response? “I’m not motivated and I’m not going to be motivated”. He has two acceptances- got a good one today. And I said “If you want to go to **** College and be done with the rest, that’s ok with me.” He’s working on his essays now. But really, if that’s what he decided, it would be ok with me. These are his decisions now. And I wouldn’t mind saving $300 in remaining application fees either! LOL</p>
<p>A lot of kids would love it if their parents were supportive in whatever you do. You should be happy that you have a Mother that has your back. Stop complaining and be happy you have a great Mother.</p>
<p>No parent likes to see their child being hurt. Believe it or not, your rejections give us (almost) as much pain as they do you, if not more. We KNOW you are amazing and wonderful and we just can’t understand why some admissions committee doesn’t see that. We want to protect you from all hurt and pain, even when you are an adult. (That’s what she was saying.)</p>
<p>Good for you for having the perspective to talk to your mother about this in a positive way.</p>
<p>To me, she was trying to tell you that her love for you is not based on where you go to college, and that your choices are up to you, honoring your autonomy while at the same time assuring you of her continuing support and love.</p>
<p>I can see how, at a down moment, you might have seen this another way. It is good to learn that our communication with others, and our interpretations, are so colored by our own feelings. And you have the wisdom to see that and change your reaction, which says a lot about you :)</p>
<p>OP, good for you for apologizing to your Mom.</p>
<p>This is a very hard time for a parent, as well. We have to walk carefully and allow our student to make the choices. This can be incredibly difficult, and I’m so glad that your Mom had the grace to empower you to make your own decisions.</p>