<p>scarabic - great post and congrats to your D! </p>
<p>I agree about the dearth of information. When this process is over for us, I think I might suggest that D’s school put on an info session for parents of athletes. Most people don’t realize that being a recruit can have a lot of value even for a kid who isn’t hell-bent on playing in a D-1 program. A very good athlete with good academic credentials can really make that work in her favor, but most parents wouldn’t know how to go about it. Club coaches - at least in my D’s sport - seem to be more focused on colleges that give scholarships, so the great D-3 opportunities go unnoticed. </p>
<p>CC may well be the best source of info about this right now, and it’s only gonna get better. Yay us!</p>
<p>We were fortunate to have [High</a> School Baseball Web](<a href=“http://www.hsbaseballweb.com%5DHigh”>http://www.hsbaseballweb.com) as a resource - it was invaluable. Too bad there aren’t similar websites out there for other sports besides baseball.</p>
<p>I’m back to report another D-3 success story! My D was just accepted to Pomona ED, and is ecstatic. She had coach support, but this is one of those colleges where the impact of that is really hard to read. We’ll never know if she’d have gotten in without being on the coach’s list, but right now I’m so glad we allowed her to apply ED. It’s a perfect fit for her, both academically and athletically.</p>
<p>FauxNom: That is WONDERFUL!!! I am so happy for your D, and for you too - as Runners2 said, what a great way to start the holidays - and what a relief to have this all done, and have it end just the way you hoped Bravo!</p>
<p>Congrats Fauxnom, I’m really happy for you and D.</p>
<p>I have to respond to scara that for us, I felt at least one coach was not truthful, or I guess overly optimistic with us, and it took advice from CC to give us the courage to be more demanding about the process, and the prospects. I mean, we are deferential to these people, they seem to have some influence, and the outcome is so important it is hard not to just go along. Plus you have your child, who thinks that you don’t need to be asking these annoying specific questions…</p>
<p>Congratulations, FauxNom and D! Pomona is a superb school. You should be very proud of both of you. Your fellow CCer’s know how hard the process was!</p>
<p>Congrats to your D, FauxNom, Pomona is an excellent school.</p>
<p>My son and I spoke to the coach there for my son’s sport, and he (the coach) left us with the strong impression that he could influence my son’s admission to Pitzer. My son has since decided not to apply so we can’t test out the hypothesis of the coach’s influence - it’s very hard to know for sure.</p>
<p>Oldbatsie brings up a good issue. How do you deal with the overly optimistic “rose colored” glasses coach who is, after all, trying to keep as many prospects in play as possible. I guess our message, at least for us this was true, get personnally in touch and stay in touch. Best thing is to personally meet the coach, the old look them in the eye deal. And it should NOT be a parent, it should be the athlete. Its hard for a 17 year old, but don’t be shy. And be truthful with them as well. D was choosing between three schools and told each coach what was going on. If you like one most, tell them that. If you are considering another school or two, tell them, and tell them which ones (the coaches know each other and can verify so don’t fib…)</p>
<p>One real problem is that when its the D/S dealing with the coach, it is hard to know what was really said. Teenagers often hear what they want to hear, so this is a tricky element to the process for sure. I found that making sure that she asked simple direct questions reduced that problem somewhat.</p>
<p>Asking questions via email is also an effective method for the student-athlete to get an honest read from a coach. While coaches might sugar-coat private conversations, we found when asked queries online, their answers were much more measured. </p>
<p>Congratulations to OldBatesieDoc, Scarabi, and FauxNom, and families for their happy acceptance news! I’ve been out of town, and delighted now to see the latest good news. Is there any better holiday gift than a YES by Christmas/Hannukuh/Kwansaa ?</p>
<p>The title of the thread is apt for us. DS was just deferred at both of his EA D3 schools. One we expected, the other less so. The second coach had asked him to apply EA and asked him for a commitment to attend which he gave. Sigh. After thinking about things so much, DS had become really attached to the second school and really wanted to go there. Scores and stats are within mid 50 percentile. He e-mailed he coach last night, haven’t heard back.</p>
<p>ihs76, so sorry to hear that. That seems awfully shabby for a coach to ask a kid to apply and for a commitment to attend when he knows there may well be a good chance that the EA app won’t be successful. Hang in there, indeed. It’s a long road.</p>
<p>Oh ihs, so sorry for you and your son. What a painful process! And other people think it’s so easy…No likely letter, so nothing to hold on to.
My S cried after the first coach told him “things have changed”. He did everything as scarabic said. It was really because I had made a connection (as mother of a teen boy)with the assistant coach that this very enthusiastic, honest looking person “fessed up”.
And ALL the e-mails were just as enthusiastic. I really think that he didn’t mean to lead S astray, but didn’t think enough about the consequences for my S if he did. And as I said before, he actually told me-“I’d call the other coach and recom your S myself, but I don’t want him playing against us!” That is when I went ballistic…</p>
<p>OldBatsie, I cannot even imagine how irked I would be by the “I’d help but we don’t want him playing against us” line after all that you had gone through with this coach - truly, what insensitivity, and what nerve…</p>
<p>ihs76 - I am so, so sorry to hear what your S is going through - how frustrating, confusing and painful. I am really disappointed that coach #2 has yet to email your S back too - seems cowardly after giving him such definite encouragement, and knowing what you and your son must have read from his “apply early, commit to me” presentation. Baffling.</p>
<p>Yes, the silence is a bit baffling and frustrating. For now, I’m assuming the coach is off for the holidays or something of that sort. Otherwise, it’s a hard way for a still trusting and pretty naive 16 year old to learn the ways of the world.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t even call it naive. If a coach wants to break off the recruiting process somewhere along the road, fine. Not at the final step; that is just wrong, in anyone’s eyes. Sorry about your son ihs76 hope this all turns out OK.</p>
<p>ihs, so sorry about this limbo you’re now in.</p>
<p>Maybe an optimistic interpretation of the silence is that the coach is also baffled, and maybe embarrassed by this turn of events and is waiting to call until he can give you some concrete (maybe even positive or encouraging) feedback. </p>
<p>Advice: try for some healthy distractions together, at least until after the holidays. After all, this is your last true holiday with your child home for an extended time. Enjoy him. Many of us find our kids are suddenly full of other plans, once they leave home, even in the first or second year away!</p>
Bravo!</p>
hope this all turns out OK.</p>