<p>Of course in your example, ucbalumnus, USC ranks higher than UCLA so parents who care about prestige and rankings over all would prefer USC for their student. The question was why some might prefer a lower ranked, higher cost private. </p>
<p>To answer that question, there are many differences between individual schools. Fit is very important, as is often said here. Not only the relative comfort-factor of a school (right social mix, right ECs, right sports or Greek or weather or on campus housing…), but also the ease (or not) in getting disability accommodations (if applicable), the quality of advisement, the amount of AP credit available (affecting overall cost for some), availability and reputation of desired specialized majors, internship opportunities, career placement track record in chosen field, and so on. The rankings may take some of these specifics into account, but are not likely to weight them to fit one’s own student’s needs. So a large flagship with a great ranking which may take into account the high quality research done by the professors and graduate students may seem less of a fit to a student who won’t get one-on-one attention from such a professor as an undergrad.</p>
<p>With so many things to consider, it’s understandable that parents and their kids would have issues to iron out. No matter how desirable any one school may be to the student, the parents must be comfortable with the cost.</p>
<p>The first was due to a combination of the school’s lumbering bureaucracy and internal academic political details my friend and I aren’t privy to. </p>
<p>The second is completely unknown because of the latter factor and the school’s understandable reluctance to provide that Prof any grounds to sue for disclosing confidential employment information…especially when the case was solved to nearly* everyone’s satisfaction when my friend’s grade was corrected to -A and he received an apology from the Deans for all that BS.</p>
<p>As has been pointed out many times on many threads, ranking by USNWR is not the be all & end all for many of us, for lots of reasons. It is one of many factors that can be considered in figuring out the value of a particular school for a particular student. If ranking and cost were the only factors to consider, we wouldn’t need CC and 4000+ Us. :)</p>
<p>My son is in 11th grade. Knowing our very different personalities, our biggest conflict will come far before the “choice” of school - it will all be the timeline to complete applications. I will want/demand/turn blue in the face that all be completed in mid November. He will undoubtedly at 11:50 pm on 12/01 be turning on the computer to send app to schools who have 12/01 deadline for merit.</p>
<p>Longhaul
The worm does that to, whether for UG, Grad, or fellowships. My style is so different that it led to conflicts. Now I fret, but I’m not there to do the coaching, and I don’t know the timelines.</p>
<p>Longhaul: Make sure you find out what his high school’s deadlines are for submission of requests for recommendations and transcripts. Also, find out how much lead time the teachers usually require to prepare recommendations and whether any teachers have “quotas” (meaning that they will only write recommendations for the first N students who ask).</p>
<p>The high school deadlines are often more than a month earlier than the college’s deadlines, and often, there are some teachers who are so swamped with requests for recommendations that they make the reluctant decision to set a quota, so the earlier your son asks for a recommendation, the better.</p>
<p>Could it depend on the kind of school parents are asked to pay? If it’s a top school, parents may try harder to make it work. That could be seen controlling compared to parents saying we will pay X wherever you go.</p>
<p>1) Sense of entitlement by the teen (for luxury gym, great meal plans, fabulous sports team, laptops, ipods, car, etc)
2) Time warp for parents (if parent worked way through college there can be the fantasy that it is still possible to fling enough hash to pay for books or tuition – but college costs have risen too dramatically
3) Fear/Aggression issues (teen or parent is afraid they will not be respected, so there is a fierce demand that things be done “My” way)
4) Misunderstanding the calendar of the admission process: No one knows true cost until late March/ early April – so families can fight from September to March (parents being afraid and teen being optimistic).</p>
<p>Longhaul, I suggest that you pick One (yep, only one) college that you think is a strong fit for offspring. Insist that One application is done by the (generous) date that you pick (say Nov. 30). After that, you say "I’ll provide the check/card for your other applications when you say you are ready to type in the card numbers. " and go on about your life. </p>
<p>Leaving it entirely to offspring may mean they get to Jan 01 and realize they need teacher recommendation letters (and the high school is closed to Jan 4, say). </p>
<p>But it’s not your life (may be your money, but not your life). Many a kid (particularly males) do the major footdragging thing – and it may be that the student needs a gap year. For many students a gap year means the college experience goes much, much better (that extra year of maturity is nice when you are talking a $20K/year price tag). </p>
<p>So one application will give the kid an option – and your willingness to step back from his life after that point is a huge signal of respect – ask if he wants more help and if he says “no thanks” respect his “no thanks” just as you want him to respect the “no, thanks” when he’s with a young woman. Don’t teach him to bully someone else by your own intense behavior. Please don’t.</p>
<p>Both my kids were pros with footdragging. I didn’t nag (much). I did provide CC# & let them do what they chose. S applied to several Us (& had several nice choices to ponder)–D just applied to one. I NEVER nagged D & voila, to her & our surprise, the one app was enough.</p>
<p>My friend has a D. She applied to one elite private school for K, which is where she attended. She applied to ONE competitive U (UVa), where she matriculated. She applied to ONE graduate program (Harvard), where she matriculated. She started having some 2nd thoughts when she hadn’t heard from Harvard & thought that just maybe it might have been more prudent to have left her self more options. LOL!</p>
<p>Kids all do things different ways. I admire my friend for letting her kids make their own choices and supporting what they choose to do/try. It’s fascinating to see what paths each kiddo takes.</p>
<p>We had hoped our S would continue on to grad school but he preferred to get a job & work instead. We have supported his choice and his employer will help finance any grad school he decides he wants; so far, so good.</p>
<p>It doesn’t work for our family to try to get them to conform to OUR schedule; we’re learning to let them figure out their own paths and so far, it is working quite nicely. :)</p>
<p>I would say the application process was about as stressful as anything. However, I would add that for both kids I did do some organizing and set up file folders with a chart on the outside that listed what each app needed and when. I asked them to do an application a week. They both had acceptances early. Hurrah.</p>
<p>major selection - which influences college selection. </p>
<p>I won battle #1 with Tiger wife (I’m the non-Tiger hubby) and DD1 is happily pulling all nighter after all nighter majoring in a very un-Tigerish major (Architecture) after following an equally un-Tigerish art-heavy HS curriculum… </p>
<p>DD2 wanted to go into Liberal Arts (eventually Law) but Mrs. Tiger pretty much is railroading DD2 into a Tiger-approved STEM-heavy HS curriculum and hopefully into every Tiger parent’s dream, med school. </p>
<p>So, if DD2 was admitted into, say, University of Chicago Dept. of Economics Mrs. Tiger would frizzle her fur, but if DD2 was admitted into Podunk State Medical School, that would be fine… </p>
<p>So, no, I don’t think it’s college choice as much as it is major choice.</p>
<p>I come from a very non-Tiger area. (Think Caterpillar, as in Alice in Wonderland.) Many parents have no idea what’s out there for college choice, nor any sense of the competition, and a vague idea that FA will cover all the costs. GC’s can only do so much. Kids apply to 3 impossibly competitive schools and the local flagship. They end up at the flagship, disappointed and discouraged. Of course they’ll do fine and some will get a great education, but its hard to see.</p>
<p>I’m a distance fighter. We’re in NY, daughter is seriously looking at a CA school and both the travel time and 3-hour time difference is a concern. If she’s calling me at the end of a very bad or good day and wants to share it will be around 1 or 2 AM. I care a little less as she’s my last kid and I don’t work so if she’s waking me in the middle of the night I can probably nap sometime during the day, if it’s a short mid-semester break I can fly out to see her instead of her coming back east but that doesn’t work for Thanksgiving. Still, I’d rather her be closer.</p>
<p>My kids know better; only once did I get a call after 11:30PM from older daughter (who is in Central time-zone, 1 hour difference) and that was when she lost her phone at a concert. Fortunately it was a Saturday night and we were still up!</p>
<p>There are some instances that application to some schools, no matter how remote a chance, are warranted. </p>
<p>We insisted that DD1 applies (and does portfolios for architecture) for a few way out of reach HYPS+++ type arch schools knowing that while it was a complete waste of money, it really motivated DD1 to put together a super portfolio which got her into a respected state flagship school with a nice $$$ package. She could not be happier. </p>
<p>Likewise, DD2 will be shooting for the stars knowing full well that she may end up in a state flagship and she will be happy with it. But, if we let them shoot for a 3.5 / 1300 SAT school they will, well, shoot for a 3.5 / 1300 and get into such a school.</p>
<p>I look at the process more like the Westminister dog show than anything else. Every dog, or kid :-), is competing not only against other kids, but against the best they can do. In a competition of this kind you may not be able to predict what the other contestants will do but sure as heck you can predict - and work on - your own outcome. The important thing is that parents AND kids are on the same page expectations wise and they both understand what is possible and what is not.</p>
<p>Disclaimer: I own a pair of pedigreed long haired Peruvian guinea pigs and have been known to attend shows :-).</p>
<p>In our case, it was the application procrastination. Ugh. We pretty much agreed on the schools and majors, and finances weren’t an issue because the COA after scholarships and need-based aid was about the same at every school - public, top-private-meets-need, and good-private-gives-merit.</p>
<p>Well, yes, if you look at the college application process primarily as a competition.</p>
<p>But it might make more sense to look at it as something like dating – where the priority is making a good match. Yes, there is a competitive element in there, but finding a good fit is more important.</p>