<pre><code> I'm currently a 3rd year undergrad who intends to switch his major. I was working towards my mechanical engineering degree, but I decided to switch to my major to applied math during my sophomore year. I choose engineering because I thought that it was going to be more math than physics based, but I was wrong. I really love math, but I had a stereotype about the type of job opportunities I would have as a math major fresh out of college, as opposed to an engineering major. After some research however, it turned out that I can have a pretty good career as an applied math major.
When I told my mother about this, however, she told me that I shouldn't switch my major to anything. She told me that I should remain an engineer. When I asked her why, she told me that it's because "I came to far to not be an engineer.", or "Don't switch your major to something useless." I tried to explain to her that I would be most happy if I chose a job I liked, but she immediately shot down my explanation. Now we are at the point where she doesn't even believe that I'll change my major, even though I told her otherwise. She even tells our friends and family about the young "engineer" that will be graduating college soon.
I am currently 21, and I believe that I have the freedom to choose what I want to do with my life, and my career. How do I convince her that I don't want to become an engineer and that I'll be happy doing otherwise (applied math)?
<p>My daughter completed a degree in engineering. She did it because that was her first chosen major, and she wanted to complete it. She never intends to be an engineer. To be honest, I wish she had switched majors.</p>
<p>Send your mother the information you have gleaned on careers for applied math majors, then just do it. Don’t discuss the matter further unless she is willing to be reasonable. </p>
<p>To be honest with you, I don’t see Mechanical Engineer as a better major. When my kid was applying to college, I thought EECS was a better major but told her she could change if she ends up not liking it. She did change to Computer Science in the CSE department. When my sister asked what my daughter’s major was and I told her Computer Science. She pooed pooed her nose at that major. Only doctor as a profession would be good enough for Southern California and that’s true but I was not thinking of Southern California for my kid. Fast forward a few months later, she told me CS is a hot major. I think your mom could be in the same category as my sister. She is misinformed.</p>
<p>Your mom probably loves going around telling people her daughter is an engineer(most parents would), but she has to know its your life and you got to do you – and if thats applied mathematics she should understand that (no matter how much she disagrees). I think you should bring it up to a more serious conversation with your mom, and if you dont need permission to switch majors(i have no idea) then you switch either way with/without her approval </p>
<p>From what you’ve posted, it sounds like your mother won’t be convinced no matter what you say or do, so don’t even try. It’s your life, not hers, and as an adult you have the right to make your own choices. Certainly be prepared to offer a rational explanation, but “convincing” will likely be a waste of time and energy.</p>
<p>Don’t discuss it with her any more. You don’t need permission to change your major. Just go ahead and do it and make it work. The only issue is if this new major will take longer to complete, and if she will have to pay more for your education, you might have to pay her back or take out loans if she objects to that.</p>
<p>“I am currently 21, and I believe that I have the freedom to choose what I want to do with my life, and my career.”</p>
<p>I don’t think this is true. Reminds me of the memes that say “I am the master of this house, and I have my wife’s permission to say so!” It’s OK- I don’t mean to be harsh, you are in that awkward “asserting independence” stage that is wholly appropriate for someone your age. I am in that “poking gentle fun” stage that is appropriate for my station. It is all very human. :)</p>
<p>“How do I convince her…”</p>
<p>In any case, put together a PowerPoint on applied math stuff- Wall Street quants or engineering-type analyst positions. Help her paint a picture in her mind of someone that anyone at a cocktail party would envy. Let her know that engineering is so '90’s and '00’s. If you want her to buy into this, it has to have a roadmap that is at least as “solid” as her image of mechanical engineering is. She will likely support you if she sees that her investment will pay off at least as well with Applied Math as it would with Mechanical Engineering (but not if she doesn’t), with objective “proof.” It is worth investing 1-4 hours of your time to keep her bought-in and on your side!</p>
<p>Remember, she suffered labor and birthing and 18 years of dealing with all your idiosyncrasies. Keep working as a team as long as you can (hopefully until one of you dies).</p>
<p>My son, a sophomore, made the exact same decision for the exact same reason (dislikes physics, loves math). Applied math is certainly no cakewalk and seems very employable. It doesn’t sound hopeful for persuading your mom, and I would encourage you to be true to your path regardless. However, there have been a couple of articles in the Wall Street Journal about the best majors and the best career paths. Math is very high on both lists, specifically actuarial sciences (branch of applied math really) and data analytics (hot field). Maybe send her these to show her that math as a major is really right up there with engineering in its potential for career success. Not that I think an article will necessarily do the trick, but it is some factual support for your desired major from a well respected source. </p>
<p>You should check and make sure you are still on track to graduate if you change majors given the sequences and required classes. Do this before you change majors. You are the one who has to live with this decision for the next 60 years, though. I would major in what you want to major in. Doesn’t sound like your mom will cut money off for college if you do this as I read your post. Your decision if you want to tell her or not… at some point she will find out, though.</p>
<p>If you want to major in math, major in math. You will find plenty of job opportunities in the field. My son is majoring in math and economics. He hopes to work in the financial field.</p>
<p>Are you choosing a major that you will succeed at?
Are you choosing a major that you can find employment with?
Are you going to graduate in the same amount of time?</p>
<p>If yes to all, then I would not spend too much more time talking to your mom.
I think she is speaking from a lack of information…If you major in Engineering you will be an Engineer and she understand what that implies. If you major in math she will have no idea what you can do. Keeping her comfortable is not your main goal in life.</p>
<p>Agree that at 21 you have sole custody of what to do with your life. </p>
<p>I would just change majors, and remove her access to your grades. If she yanks the money or threatens to, show her the article about the sugar daddys. LOL!</p>
<p>Part of the problem is that you discuss this stuff with her. That’s got to stop. </p>
<p>A parent who withdraws the college money on a 21 year old because they changed majors has crossed a line in the sand that should not be crossed. I don’t think that will happen. </p>
<p>I think OP should just change majors. Should financial strings be pulled, then the OP will need to wrestle control of her own life away from her mother for her own sake. She will already have 3 years of college under her belt. </p>
<p>The OP has a decent plan. I think the OP assuming that she needs mom’s permission to change majors is the real problem. She needs to assert control. </p>
<p>You can give her the info about your new intended major, which I think is not going to as lmiting even as a mech eng degree and state your case. But if it comes down to the point where she won’t pay if you change your major, then you have to make that decision yourself whether you can come up with the funds or have to take off some time from school </p>
<p>There are a lot of students who have directed scholarship or take up offers like what SUNY is with STEM majors and if they want to step out of the parameters of what is covered, they lose the funding. Simple as that. And in some cases, have to pay back what they got. Because this is your mom who is holding the money and making the conditions you have some chance of negotiating with her and having her agree albeit unhappily, at least at first. So give it a try. </p>
<p>Personally, I’d have no trouble with my child doing this, but a change from some majors that have a high job placement chance with good pay to one where it’s going to be rough riding in terms of finding work, I’d really be upset. I wouldn’ t pull my support, but I’d truly think it’s a full hardy move. But you are not doing that.</p>
<p>To the OP: the only real problem is if you depend on her for college funding or cooperation on financial aid forms, and she makes that contingent on you being in an “approved” major. Is this the case?</p>
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<p>But there are stories on these forums about parents who will only fund college for specific parentally approved majors.</p>