<p>My S went to college on very close to a full ride. There was no money card for us to play.</p>
<p>I am always bemused in this forum when parents talk about using the purse strings to regulate their student’s behavior, whether it be communication with home, grades, major, drinking, or any of the other myriad choices a student can make.</p>
<p>DD#2 has most of her costs paid while I have to pay a good deal for DD#1. DD#2 even has her cell phone paid by someone else. Both know the rules, and they are the same rules - answer me when I text, no tattoos. They also know that I’m powerless to save them from stupid mistakes like being arrested for drinking.</p>
<p>I’ve actually had someone say they can’t believe I’m ‘letting’ DD#1 major in theater. It’s her choice, but I made sure it was an informed choice. She knows it is not a high paying career. She knows she has to keep the costs down, try to graduate loan free, and work while she’s in school.</p>
<p>I can play the money card with one, not so much with the other, but it doesn’t matter. They make a lot of choices based on their respect for me, knowing what I expect. I try to have understanding for their age, stress level, interests, need for a social life.</p>
<p>I think the OP’s mother is wrong and too controlling in trying to pick a major, but also believe OP should try to persuade her to understand and value the math degree. Show her how you intend to use it (grad school? teaching job?). It sounds like she is a single parent, and that makes a difference too. We single parents know that our kids have to get a good start, have to have a solid education. There just isn’t a lot of money to fall back on.</p>
<p>My sense is that the OP’s mom is thinking about herself (and her ability to brag that her kid is an ENGINEER), and that rational discussion may not help much. (I have a parent like this, so can see how this can happen). All the rational PowerPoints in the world won’t offset her desire to brag about what she perceives as a high status major.</p>
<p>Let us not forget that it is the KID who is saying this. I would take everything with a grain of salt. 
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<p>It is not a KID it is a 21 year old adult!</p>
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<p>However, the way college financial aid works, the parent has veto power over the student’s college choices until the student reaches age 24, gets married, or serves in the military.</p>
<p>I think your mother might not want you to change major and have to add additional semester. Honestly, I came from a long line of engineers, we have one of each, civil, chemical, mechanical, electrical, electronic, computer, so I have to say nothing prestigious about engineer. Around here, people would brag that they have kids who are doctors but not engineers. The truth is engineers do not have job security as doctors.</p>
<p>However, switching from engineering to math is less likely to delay graduation, since the frosh/soph math courses have already been taken for engineering anyway.</p>
<p>Maybe OP’s mom doesn’t know that.</p>
<p>It’s possible that the mother has reasonable concerns about
<p>I’d have those concerns myself. But I’d still let a kid transfer if they could talk to those points. </p>
<p>@Consolation: </p>
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<p>There is quite the continuum between “Parents have to pay, but child can choose whatever college at whatever price doing whatever major, never call, never share grades” and “If I am paying, I get to tell you where to go, what to major in and you have to put a GPS tracker on your phone and call me everyday.”</p>
<p>Some colleges have restrictions for engineering. If you switch to Math and then don’t like it will you still be able to go back to ME? </p>
<p>This may be coming out of left field for the OP’s mom. If one of my kids wanted to switch majors out of the blue when they were over halfway done then I would be questioning it too. If the student isn’t doing well in the major classes then that’s a different issue. At my sons school of you were to change majors when you are second semester Junior from Engineering to Applied Math it would probably take an extra year to graduate.We certainly don’t have money for an extra year. Perhaps the mom has been planning on the OP being done with school in a less than 2 years and doesn’t have the extra money for another year. If I were OP I would be planning on how to pay for the extra semesters if mom can’t afford it. </p>
<p>It can be hard to know if a major is a good fit for until junior year advanced level coursework. Before that, there can be many introductory and pre requesits, etc.</p>
<p>Why discuss? Just do what you need to do. You’re 21.</p>
<p>Lol… clearly posted by a teen. Easy to say if you don’t care if mom continues paying the bills.</p>
<p>Many of the others have given good options for you. Here’s a thought - if you don’t want to jeopardize your relationship with your mom, have you investigated what it would take do double major in engg and math? One would think there would be a considerable overlap and it wouldn’t be that many extra courses to do both. </p>
<p>OP is not risking jeopardizing her relationship with her mom. If it’s a healthy relationship, switching majors from MechE to applied math should be none of mom’s business. If it’s not a healthy relationship, it’s mom who bears all of the risk. Mom likely loves OP and wouldn’t withdraw financial support. She may not be happy, but she won’t take the drastic step. If Mom does take such a drastic step over this, there are ways for OP to finish the last year. She can probably earn enough working for a year or two and go back and finish the degree. Either way, she has to have enough self-respect to pursue the life she wants. </p>
<p>I say, change majors, and then once it’s a done deal, if she wants to discuss it with mutual respect, discuss it. But OP’s life decisions can’t be allowed to be held hostage by her mom’s manipulations. If that’s allowed to continue, where does it end?</p>
<p>Show mom the SB/SD thread if she threatens to withdraw financial support. I thought that thread was for kicks and now I’ve heard my beautiful niece who is going to be a doctor has been wooed by a dirty old man. He dropped his fiancé and flew up to NY to see her. She is only 26 and he is 42. Unbelievable. </p>
<p>Thanks for the replies everyone! There is very helpful advice here, and I sincerely appreciate it. I’ll first answer a few recurring questions that I keep seeing pop up.</p>
<p>Is OP’s mom providing most of the financial support?</p>
<p>No. She does take me grocery shopping and buy me clothes, food, etc., but I’m paying for my tuition as I have two jobs. She does have to sign off on some documents for my grants, etc., however.</p>
<p>Will OP graduate in the same amount of time?</p>
<p>No. I’ll have to stay an extra semester IFF I do NOT decide to take any summer classes. I will be taking summer classes, so I’ll be able to graduate on time.</p>
<p>Will OP’s mom cut financial support if OP switches majors? </p>
<p>No. The most I’ll have to live with is the disapproving comments she’ll give me, which is something we’ll have to sit down and talk about together.</p>
<p>Can OP afford an extra semester(s)?</p>
<p>Yes. I’ll be quitting one of my jobs for a better job as a shuttle bus mechanic, so I’ll be getting paid more.</p>
<p>What will OP do with OP’s degree?</p>
<p>I’ll go to grad school and either get a PSM in applied math, or a MS in computer science. Once I’m finished with grad school, I might work in research labs, software firms, or I might become an applications development specialist for different products.</p>
<p>What I’ve learned from this thread/my course of action:</p>
<p>I’ll talk to my mom about why I’m changing my major and the pay, benifits, and etc. If this talk doesn’t change her mind, then I’ll act on my own and change it anyway because it’s my career, not hers. I think I’m making the right decision, and I don’t want a job I’ll be unhappy with.</p>
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<p>I share the same amusement as someone who attended college on a near-full ride and worked part-time/summers to defray the remainder. </p>
<p>One interesting side effect of my parents/relatives being unable to play the money card is my father ended up not knowing my college grades until several years after I graduated with flying colors and after six months of working…debt-free*. </p>
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<li>Took a 3 figure loan so I can concentrate on enjoying my senior year and have time for job search/interviews.<br></li>
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