<p>Tough for parents to have to wait when they might have a plane to catch. Be grown up pick a side but be fair. Having two sets of parents and kids setting up at the same time is a nightmare. It’s chaos. It’s actually very difficult. We weren’t there to help set up we were there to carry stuff, break down boxes etc</p>
<p>I can’t imagine all four of the girls in my daughters room doing it all at once.</p>
<p>What my daughters did as there were bunks was agree if after the first semester they wnted to swap, that would be done.</p>
<p>The minute we walked into D1s room, I noted the furniture was laid out oddly and recommended we move it to maximize floor space. (others on the floor already were). She told me to stop saying that and it was fine. Fast forward a month to my first visit…of course furniture was arranged how I suggested it!</p>
<p>While waiting or draft-unpacking, an early student can walk around to see how other roommates down the halls are arranging the same moving parts. Doors are generally all open. This can generate new ideas for arrangements-- but the source is their peers, so it’s solid gold.</p>
<p>Personally I wish other schools had rules like Harvard that said the roommates had to be present and agree on a division of the room. My son’s roommate last year took by far the best side of the room. My son couldn’t even sit up in bed without hitting his head on the ceiling. OTOH sometimes the other kid arrives so late, it makes life really difficult. In which case I’d move in, but make it clear that I was amenable to rearranging if it seemed unfair. At Harvard where the suites are often arranged with a living room and two very unequally sized bedrooms for four kids, it really does take some discussion. Often kids agree to switch midyear or find other ways to make things more fair.</p>
<p>When a room is fundamentally “unfair” like that, it seems that there really is no solution other than for the roommates to switch midway through the year. But colleges shouldn’t put students in those kinds of situations in the first place.</p>
<p>Well this is all food for thought. One thing that makes a difference, it seems, is whether the room is a standard rectangular box with two of everything, no bunks (my assumption, I admit) or a more weirdly configured space (possible, esp. in older housing).</p>
<p>I suppose all the student really needs the first night is a bed to sleep in. The kids can figure the rest out as they go along.</p>
<p>It was first come-first served…but most folks are pretty reasonable about discussing rearrangements if needed and so long as neither my roommate or I have our stuff encroaching on each others’ agreed upon personal space…it was cool. </p>
<p>From what I’ve seen at most other campuses in the mid-late '90s…it was a worse version of the same…aggressively first-come first served and it was understood on some of those campuses that complaining about it tended to reflect negatively on the character of the complainer. </p>
<p>My big issues in roommate situations had more to do with late-night noise/lack of consideration from roommates/neighbors. </p>
<p>As for the bunkbed question…never really came up during college…but I personally prefer the top bunk.</p>
<p>I’d go further. I think the last one to arrive should pay housing costs for roommates who arrived earlier … you know, kind of like Social Security. Now THAT would be a life lesson!</p>
<p>PS#1, DD had a tee-shirt made up with CAMPUS HOUSING OFFICE printed on it. She had her sister put in on and stand by the dormitory entrance to keep other students out until DD arrived. Smart huh?</p>
<p>PS#2, Excuse me, but competing to disadvantage your roommate(s) doesn’t fall under Proper Etiquette … as least my Mom’s definition of etiquette. (And yes, PS#1 was sarcasm.)</p>
<p>Havent read everything, but I think resident directors need to coach RAs how to deal with this, and not just tell the kids to work it out. Lets all remember, the RAs are basically kids too. I agree with the, take what you want but then switch for the Spring term. If the Rutgers situation has taught us anything, it is that Freshman students need help in working things out.</p>
<p>S2 lived in a quad his freshman year. Two of the roommates got there as soon as they could get into the room. They took the 2 single beds, leaving S and the other roommate the bunk bed. They also took the larger closet, the best situated desks, and had all their stuff unpacked, hung up, and everything set up by the time we arrived 4 hours after them. I could not believe that they, with their parents’ assistance, were treating their other roommates like 2nd class citizens. Had everything been equal in the room I wouldn’t have cared. Had they taken the single beds but also the smaller closet, I wouldn’t have minded. </p>
<p>Needless to say, S moved to a different room by 2nd semester. He never felt truly comfortable in that first room.</p>
<p>If the room has 2 beds, 2 closets, and 2 desks, what is the issue with the ‘side’ the person gets? Whoever gets there first unloads their stuff on one side of the room, and the next person gets the other half. Does it really matter which side one gets?</p>
<p>I can’t even remember this even being an issue when I moved into my dorm (eons ago, I realize), and when my S moved into his dorm last year. It was just a non-issue.</p>
<p>As long as you don’t take up more than your ‘side’, isn’t it really all the same?</p>
<p>“If the room has 2 beds, 2 closets, and 2 desks, what is the issue with the ‘side’ the person gets?”</p>
<p>If the both sides of the room are equally appealing, what’s the harm of doing the courteous thing and asking the roommate which side s/he prefers?</p>
<p>criz, generally not an issue IF the room has 2 beds, 2 closets, 2 desks. The problem is MANY times the rooms are not equal…and then fairness/consideration/communication should come into play…and often does not…</p>
<p>There was a time when an 18-year-old who had been taught proper manners would have insisted his or her roommate take first choice, and the roommate, if likewise mannered, would have taken the less desirable of the accommodations.</p>
<p>But those days have gone to the same dustbin as the practice of a young person offering his or her seat to an adult lady on a bus or train, I suppose.</p>
<p>Added complication for the early student and/or his/her family family. Not to mention added “bureaucracy”/loss of efficiency for both students considering the size of the rooms. </p>
<p>In practice, especially when both students have caravans of luggage…it is often better for one student to unpack and get everything stowed away so the second or other latecomers have enough floorspace/other room to get themselves unpacked and get everything stowed away. </p>
<p>Also, what if one student arrives much earlier…like a few days earlier due to the need to be on campus earlier or that was when his/her assigned move-in day happened to be? </p>
<p>Moreover, I do agree there is something to be said for learning that “the early bird catches the worm” or “ya snooze, ya loose”…though this was something my high school homeroom/US history/US govt teacher also never tired of reminding all of us students from freshman year of HS onward. </p>
<p>There are times that I was rewarded in post-college life for being the early arrival for work or commercial transactions…and lost out on the latter for being late or being beaten to the punch by someone who arrived earlier.</p>
<p>cobrat, I disagree with the you snooze, you lose, in this situation. Some kids may live far away, some may fly in the night before. Its one thing when everyone is at the starting line at the same time. I dont think that applies to dorm arrivals, in general.</p>
<p>I agree with Pizzagirl: if you get there first and start unpacking for practicality’s sake, take the bed under the window if you prefer it, but put your stuff in the less-desirable back of the closet. Don’t take the best of everything. That’s just rude and obnoxious. And be prepared to move things around. (That’s what i did, 40 years ago. )</p>
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