My kid is entering Harvard in the fall and will be living with 4 other freshman. They have 4 bedrooms and a common area So 2 of them will be doubling and 3 singles. All move in on the same day. The school states clearly must wait till all roommates are there to pick your bed. Any suggestions on a fair way to decide this?? We are hoping they can decide this before move in date but how to get the conversation started?? Any thoughts or advice from experience is appreciated!!
“The school states clearly must wait till all roommates are there to pick your bed.”
Sounds like the university doesn’t want you to figure it out ahead of time.
The kids are smart. They’ll figure it out just like all the other kids before them. It’s part of the learning process. Trust the process. 
Various acts of strength?
Your student could ask:
- Does anyone want to double?
- Does anyone have any special needs (get up early for their sport, have a health issue, snore, etc)
- If no, then they could put the beds/rooms in a hat and have everyone pull one out and that is what they get.
Harvard? And the school says they must wait till everyone is there to pick a lousy bed. So much for being smart and capable of managing on your own.
Frankly, get there pick a bed, unpack and move on with life. It’s not that difficult.
True…We were just hoping to help getting settled in
I wonder what is Stanford’s policy? I think I will just ask student helpers when I arrive and go with what they say. lol
I’m guessing they will figure it out. It’s not really your place to even get involved, given that there are five people to consider.
I think Bopper made some good suggestions. I too would want to help unpack and not wait for til late in the day for one person.
One thing I think daughter’s school did right was not only assign a suite, but the room in the suite. Each student got her own room, but they were all slightly different. Daughter was last to move in but got, iMO, the best room since it was assigned (A, B, C, D). The kitchen cabinet was assigned too. Wouldn’t have made any difference, but since it was assigned, there was no issue.
I wouldn’t wait either for the last kid to arrive. I have to laugh that Harvard even tells kids stuff like that. It is as if none of them went to camp or to a boarding school which many have. Figure it out before they arrive or on the fly day of move-in.
OP asked about Harvard (so first off congrats on that), not summer camp, and not Stanford. I’m not that I’m saying that Harvard is special or unique, but in this case the fact that they require roommates to make a decision as a group makes sense.
The advice of just pick a bed and unpack does not work out well in this situation, and that’s even without getting into a conversation about misplaced sense of entitlement and self-importance. 
Unlike dorms at other colleges, Harvard dorms are not set up so that one side of a double is a mirror image of the other. They do not provide floorplans to incoming freshman, and the FDO will not provide them if asked; the kid sees the space for the first time when moving in. There are definitely some beds that are better than others, particularly in dorms where some beds are bunked.
So telling the kid to get there and pick a space will not only earn the ire of the roommate(s), but will also result in the violator very quickly receiving a call/visit from the Freshman’s Dean’s Office explaining the policy to the “smart and capable” student who thinks s/he can do his/her own thing and that the world revolves around him/her. This will likely not be that student’s only time receiving a rude awakening at Harvard.
Now that I’ve finished ranting, @bopper 's suggestions are great. I will also add that the first student to arrive can call/text the others with pictures/videos of the space if waiting a couple of hours for everyone to arrive is really problematic. Additionally, some roommates rotate beds throughout the year giving everyone a shot at the crappy bed, although the roommates may decide as a group to forgo this.
Finally, as mentioned before, the kids don’t need parental involvement in this. They figure it out on their own.
If they went to camp or boarding school, they are completely capable of handling it without mom and dad, including unpacking and setting up.
It helps to see the space in person, IMO. It’s also not all about just the space. The process itself of coming together and hashing it out in person is part of the roommate experience.
Harvard’s been doing this longer than all of us put together. I’m sure they have good ideas on what works well.
I have seen roommates in this situation agree to swap rooms after Winter Break.
Different college, where the admin doesn’t get involved on move in day: my kiddo in a 2 room quad arrived to discover the first gal there had not only chosen her bed but completely rearranged the room, even taken apart bunk beds. I was the one who was ticked. Later, that gal hated her choice and everyone swapped. All these years later, the two are still close friends.
But if Harvard or any othr school asks for mutual respect and consensus, go for that.
Sounds to me like a result of the Tiger Parent kid/Trust Fund kid demographic at Harvard. Too many kids raised viewing everything as a competition that they must win at all costs and too many kids who never heard “no” when growing up to trust to think about others when divvying up room space.
My daughter and her roommates all worked it out ahead of time (not Harvard). They have a room layout plan, know which girl will go in which bed, coordinated who is bringing what, etc… They are in a quad that was designed as a triple so space is going to be tight and they wanted to be as prepared as possible.
Totally agree that “first come first served” is a crummy way to start off the college dorm experience and a sure fire way to make enemies.
I would have thought Harvard kids would be able to make these kind of life altering decisions without the help of their parents 
@“mom@2022” I would see if your son or daughter has already reached out to their roomies via text or email. Assuming they all have college email addresses it should be easy to do. Let them work it out and try your best to stay out of the discussion. These kids will be living together and may well end up good friends, it’s best for them to start dealing with each other directly. I know the normal parental response is to try to make sure your kid doesn’t get a raw deal but honestly - I’ve stayed in Harvard dorm rooms just like that and it’s a great living setup. They will be fine with any arrangement.
This is our first experience with this so yeah letting my kiddo take control but as a parent also curious what others experience