Move to top public or pay for private H.S.?

Parents Forum
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<p>Not a parent, but…</p>

<p>The success of a student in school has just as much to do with that person him/herself as the high school she can afford to attend. As much to do with home environment as school environment. Whatever opportunity not offered at a mediocre high school can be made up by self-studying or seeking resources outside of school, and being the top student in a small pond holds advantages of its own: guaranteed to be a part of the most challenging classes the school can offer, attention from teachers even though the classes are big, a less stressful environment, surrounded by a more diverse group of fellow students, etc. The private school environment is not always be the best for everybody.</p>

<p>Just to offer a different point of view, at the highly selective college that I’m currently attending, tons of people (about half of the class) come from normal, non-magnet public high schools just like I have, and none of us has any particular trouble keeping up with classes. Your kids won’t be hampered merely because you choose not to send them to a private school.</p>

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<p><i>Mommyto3 and LoriFLA we need to start our own thread “High School Graduates of the 2020’s!”</i></p>

<p>Yes! Knowing me, I’ll probably be reading this forum until then. :-)</p>

<p>I’m going against my mantra to “make the best of it” when it comes to the higher grades. I’m a hypocrite. :slight_smile: I agree to take extra care while choosing middle and high-schools. In the near future steps will need to be taken to get out of our zoned middle school – it has a horrible reputation. Although, I have not toured it and I have known kids that have done quite well there so we will see. I have anxiety because variances can be hard to come by and we do not want to move.</p>

<p>I will do everything in my power for my kids to attend a local high-school that is not our zoned high school. Our zoned high school is okay but our desired HS is ranked highly, has the IB program, plenty of opportunities for ECs, etc. </p>

<p>As newlyweds my husband and I bought our house before we had children. I wish I would have given our zoned schools more thought.</p>

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<p>*My friends and my extended families sent kids to private catholic schools ($10,000-$15,000 per year) and the kids were not able to get to the top colleges. *</p>

<p>That has not been the experience in my extended family at ALL. If a Catholic high does not have a “fair share” of top grads accepted to top schools, then find another school.</p>

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<p>We had the house before the kid. </p>

<p>The local public schools not bad, with the high schools garnering 1-3 NMSemi’s/yr. and sending a few kids to well known schools. </p>

<p>DS went to same public hs as I and older bro went to 30 years earlier. DS was the only one in his class to make NMF, This hs has AP and IB programs, 1800 students (4yr). Compared to bro who lives in Manhatten and sent daughter to private schools pre-K thru 12., We got off very cheap and a just as good or better education. Niece went to JH, ours went to CMU.</p>

<p>We didn’t participate in PTA but we did show up to parents conferences and showed ourselves in the schools and greeted all the teachers.</p>

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<p>We have very bright and motivated kids who were raised in a small town without many options for their schooling. We worked hard at challenging them and fueling their interests, and when they ran out of challenges with the local public schools, we got creative with the enrichment opportunities - lots of joint enrollment at the local college, roles with the youth actors’ company in the next city a half-hour away, encouraging their musical interests, etc. As a result, they were constantly tapped at their school for nominations to special programs, public appearances, and leadership roles. Both girls wound up at the same Ivy, and I think that the extent to which they went to find and embrace new challenges while coming from a school with modest opportunities of its own was among their applications’ best selling points.</p>

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<p>coolweather #39

Why?</p>

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<p>BCEagle91 #32
MA Academy of MS is for 11 and 12 grades only.
Acton (and Boxboro) is a great choice. On elementary level they have 5 schools with different teaching style, the choice is yours, no zoning. The town has a lot of townhouses and duplexes for the “rental property as a back-up” plan :).</p>

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<p>The housing prices aren’t terribly high for the educational quality either. I have a coworker that lived in the city where I worked for a long time. That district had a sharp increase in problems and he moved his family to Acton. I believe median household income is a little over $100K. From what I can tell, parents are pretty involved with their kids’ education. There’s also a pretty active homeschooling community there. I haven’t been there in a long time but it’s not a place where you have a lot of showy homes. I don’t think that this would help the OP though. It’s a haul from the North Shore.</p>

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<p>Thank you all for your replies–such wonderful info. and thoughts, I trully appreciate it.</p>

<p>To give a bit more detail.</p>

<p>We live in a large city north of boston on the ocean. Very diverse - the have’s and the have not’s (lots of these). Most people say that our schools in the city “fall apart” by middle school. </p>

<p>I work 30 hours a week and will likely need to continue to work (especially if we have to pay for private school tuition). I can take around 300-500K cash today and throw it toward a $1M house or stay in my more modestly priced (but awesome) house and pay for private at some point. The good privates here are $25K for middle school. The catholic all boys high school is $18K /year (we have 2 boys). And for our daughter the best private school option as a day student locally in high school is $35K year. So, high school alone for private runs $300K for 3 children. One big concern I have is whether my daughter could even get into this high flying prep school coming out of such an average middle school. If we add the high calliber private school cost to the mix that would push us to $600K in private school expenses and would eat into our retirement/college savings.</p>

<p>My choices are be a more involved mom in public school (for the early years) or work more to pay for private. I guess the challenge with staying where we are (I realize the children are VERY young) is that it is a good time to upgrade real estate and interest rates are low…so I’m trying to plan ahead and have an excellent Plan B…or even Plan A option for my children. I also worry that if I ever need to go to an office full time in the future, it would entail approx a 1 hour commute each way unless I move closer to jobs. </p>

<p>The college enrollment rate for my public high school is 66%. The surrounding towns near me are in the high 90%'s. So I do worry that my children will be influenced by the large numbers going into trades rather than on to college. The median income in my city is around $50K. We are [sufficiently higher than] that so that I don’t fit in with my local elementary school at all. My house is one of the nicer ones in my district and I have an advanced degree while most people I meet are H.S. or maybe some college or tops a B.S…so just a different focus on education (at least for the parents). That alone makes it harder for me to have great conversations with people and have them be stimulating/interesting to me. </p>

<p>The class size in elementary public in my zone is about 28…our catholic elementary is about the same. The catholic elementary runs $5K per child/per year…so $15K/year total for all three. Our taxes are low and would at least double if we move.</p>

<p>I have not been able to get a feel for the public school here at all as they don’t want to offer any sort of public access and looked at me like I had 2 heads when I went there and asked for a tour of any sort and they said they don’t allow access for confidentiality/security reasons. Very frustrating. Seems lots of folks bail on my city and go to the surrounding towns by the time they hit middle school if they can afford it.</p>

<p>I just don’t want to be forced to work for the next 20 years to afford fancy private schools when i could actually spend time with my darling three children if they were at publc schools. I think that is what I find most frustrating. </p>

<p>I’ve worked so hard and started my family late in life that I would like to leverage the savings/investments I have already accumulated rather than spend the next 20 years in a cube and traveling as i did the last 20 years. That is what makes me so sad to consider.</p>

<p>I feel like I could give up our lovely house and downgrade, but my husband is less focused on education than I and is very attached to the comforts and luxury of our home. So he is hesitant to move but willing if it’s what I think best.</p>

<p>I hear you that it is early for the kids and by moving we may forever be closting the door to any private school options due to all of our $ being tied up in the more expensive house/fancier district.</p>

<p>I love the idea of the 2020 board for those with young children :)</p>

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<p>I spent a few minutes on Google Earth and Wikipedia so I think I know the town that you are in. I am somewhat familiar with the North Shore but I’m thinking that we should take a drive along the MA coast when it’s warmer as there are many places along the MA coast that we haven’t visited.</p>

<p>If you want the most time with your kids, then I’d suggest homeschooling. It sounds like you have a nice home for it and a generally nice local environment for it. It can be a ton of work and there are administrative chores to deal with but it might be a viable option. You might be able to drag your husband into taking a bigger interest in education. There’s a Massachusetts home education mailing list if you want to ask questions about the option. The list may be able to provide a rough number of homeschooling families in your area.</p>

<p>You could always supplement the education of your children at home but this would result in impedance mismatches from grade to grade as they would know, perhaps too much for their age-grade level but not enough to skip; there can be problems with skipping grades too.</p>

<p>The attitudes in a school are important. I grew up in a poor household (single-parent) in an affluent district. I really didn’t receive any guidance about college but everyone else was doing it (at least it felt that way to me) so I just went along and took the tests and did the applications. I didn’t have any help in doing any of this as the single-parent worked two jobs and wasn’t home very much.</p>

<p>We have two residences in the US, one where the median household income is $80K and the other where the median household income is $40K. The two districts are like night and day, one where gangs and drugs are big problems. There are kids that make it to college but they are really fighting the odds. I wouldn’t have put our kids in that district if we had the choice.</p>

<p>There are a lot of variables that you are dealing with in the decision and you might want to make a list of considerations and things that you’d gain and lose with the various options that you are considering. Your husband should also be part of the analysis. He probably works a lot of hours to generate that income and maybe he has a long commute too to your current location. Downsizing can mean a smaller home but it can also mean an older home which requires more maintenance that may detract from his job.</p>

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<p>I don’t know anything about the greater Boston area, like BCEagle. I suggest looking at the high school and seeing what opportunities are provided for the high achieving kids. Like a public university with an honors college, “average” school districts can provide wonderful opportunities to their exceptional kids. The stats of a school wouldn’t really reflect the opportunities provided to the top 10% of the kids. You have to look closer. </p>

<p>We have experienced school in a large top ranked school where the curriculum of the entire school was raised to an advanced level and a medium sized “average” school where top kids were given an advanced curriculum. My kids did well in both environments. The key is having, at least at the higher middle school level and high school, a group of high achievers taking AP and advanced classes. Those classes have to be offered and taught well. Ask the guidance counselor at the HS how many APs are offered and what is the average score of the students who take them.</p>

<p>Having said that, an average kid in both of these environments will have a different experience. In the top ranked school with an advanced curriculum, an average kid tends to feel “below average” because there are so many “smart” kids. In the average HS an average kid feels fine and average, but will not be involved in the more insular environment provided for the top kids. </p>

<p>Your kids are too young to know where they will fall, at this point. I would suggest sending your kids to the elementary school and learn more about the district and your kids before making a move. Being happy with your life is important too. </p>

<p>Good Luck!!</p>

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<p>Based on your income and your age (work experience), your future income probably won’t double or triple (pardon me if it’s not a correct assumption). Considering your have 3 children, paying for private education maybe a stretch. As you said, there is no guarantee they would be able to get into those highly selective private schools either. </p>

<p>I would sell the house and move to the best public school district, even if it means a smaller house. Owning a smaller house at a good public school district is also a much better investment than the best house at a sub par public school district. As house is just a house. Kids don’t care if they are living in a mansion vs a small ranch. It is very normal and sensible to want to give your kids best education possible.</p>

<p>I also don’t think it makes sense to send kids to private school, unless it is head and shoulder above good public school. It all comes down to funding. Small privates will not have as money for a lot of extras and they won’t have critical mass for many sports or ECs.</p>

<p>I personally don’t think you are worrying about this too early. I agree that you should get your husband more involved about your kids’ education.</p>

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<p>Although kids may not care about the house, they may care if they are significantly less affluent than their classmates. If they can’t wear the same clothes, go to the same camps, have the same electronic equipment, etc., they may feel left out.</p>

<p>Sometimes, there is relatively low-cost housing in a few places in an otherwise very affluent, highly rated school district. Buying one of those homes can be a great deal in terms of education. But the kids who live there pay a price, socially.</p>

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<p>I think with OP’s income, they won’t be the poor relation in any town. On the other hand, I would rather give my kids the best education and let them be disadvantaged socially (if those were my options). It’s no different with FA students at those expensive private colleges. I went through it myself, and I gained a lot, both academically and socially.</p>

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<p>I believe the OP’s town was in the Money Magazine’s Best Places to Live a few years ago with a high quality of life, and relatively low cost of living. The educational metrics (test scores) didn’t do that well.</p>

<p>I’m of the mind to downsize too but that’s due to our background and the economic environments that we grew up in. It’s hard to compensate for living near the beach - think of the summertime activities possible. We’re an hour inland and we spent many days driving to the beach but I’d always have to consider time issues.</p>

<p>I had a look at home prices and median household incomes and was surprised that a 50% increase in median household income can translate into a 100% higher median home price. My guess is that that higher median household income translates to higher average assets for a larger down-payment.</p>

<p>I have a friend that was looking for a house a few years ago. His family was dual-Phd with one income and the other looking for full-time work. His income is probably quite a bit lower than that of your husband. They moved to a condex in Winchester (north of Boston, inland compared to your location). The median home price is $647,000 and they spent about half that. Winchester’s school stats are pretty good and the educational level for the town is pretty good. There’s also a commuter rail station into Boston. That’s an example of tradeoffs that can be pretty hard to make. They only have one child and I don’t know if they want any more. I’m not suggesting this town to you - only illustrating a decision that someone I know made.</p>

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<p>Have you looked at Belmont or Lexington? Are either of these towns doable with work? Could you do without the beach? Both have outstanding HS programs and send many, many kids to the Ivies.</p>

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<p>Have you ever thought about moving to a less expensive area of the country?</p>

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<p>Okay, pretty sure my brother lives in a coastal city just a bit north of you. Same blue collar vibe, lots of underemployed fishermen. They’ve found plenty of friends via the elementary schools and other activities they are involved in. For them being able to have a boat on the water is worth it. </p>

<p>I have to say that I didn’t have trouble visiting schools in my town, but then I was contemplating whether to put my child in the magnet lottery or send him to the local elementary school. (This was shortly before my child would have been eligible for the lottery, not years before however.) </p>

<p>I do think that in elementary school if you foster reading at home - your kid’s scores will be what they need to be for middle school.</p>

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<p>Not that I’m trying to get rid of OP but here is another place you might ask this question. I’ve found Greatschools to be a good resource. [GreatSchools</a> Community](<a href=“http://www.greatschools.org/community/]GreatSchools”>School Ratings & Reviews for Public & Private Schools: GreatSchools)</p>

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<p>From the OP vantage point right now, it looks like the home environment shapes the child. That is less true as children become adolescents and then teenagers. It is normal for the peer group to greatly influence behavior and to shape the kind of adult they will become. I would take a long hard look at the middle and high school. Hang out in your car at dismissal time and observe.
No decision has to be made yet, certainly you can get by in the early elementary years when you are the biggest influence.
As you wisely said, getting into the better privates or magnets may not be so easy, you don’t know what LDs or other issues may be lurking in any of your 3 lovelies preventing some of the best options.
No rush, but I commend you for thinking about this now.</p>