Move to top public or pay for private H.S.?

<p>Considering that you are in all likelihood talking about the city I live in, I figured I’d add my 2 cents. I have found the schools here to be very good for the above average student. The high school offers more AP classes than most of the surrounding communities. My D graduated at the top of her class and is now attending an excellent college as are most of her friends that were in the AP/Honors program. We did consider school choice for her High school and she did get into one of the “better town” schools, but that school is actually better for the average student and does not offer the advanced classes that she was able to take at our own high school.</p>

<p>My S was given the opportunity to go to the Prep, but chose the local high school instead. He is currently in the AP/Honors program and is in the top 10% of his class. </p>

<p>Neither of my kids have ever been affected by the “number of kids going into a trade”. The path they were/are on was always college prep as it is for all of their friends.</p>

<p>I live in a town that sounds similar to yours (in financial make-up) and DH and I chose to live here because it is absolutely beautiful, has numerous year round outdoor activities, and is a great place to raise kids. We never gave the school district a thought --until we had those children! </p>

<p>The schools are split into the haves and the have nots (really no one in the middle). A lot of super motivated parents got together and got really involved with the district (we also have a really good superintendent) and had one of the few elementary schools changed to a magnet school. It has been very successful and won many national awards. The middle school is also not very desirable but the same group of active parents made sure the music program was top notch and well funded and that there were GATE classes for math and English. The sports programs are amazing to say the least and almost all middle schoolers participate in something.</p>

<p>Once in high school, the kids have honors and AP. Those who do well academically really don’t take very many classes with those who don’t (the majority). The top students make up only about 25% of the school population yet there are numerous opportunities for them. They get a lot of individual attention and encouragement.</p>

<p>The biggest contributer to having a great public school, IMO, is the parents. The parents are the people we (I am a teacher) work for. Great parents can produce a lot of amazing things. If I were in your situation there is no way I would commit to working full time for the next 20 years just to afford tuition. I would want to enjoy the time with my children (it goes really fast!). </p>

<p>Why not give the public schools a try? I would also do as others suggest and make sure to supplement the children’s education with lots of stimulating experiences you can all enjoy together. Museum trips, nature walks, and as others suggested, lots of reading time (as a family). There are also a lot of great summer camps for when the kids get a little older.</p>

<p>Get as involved in their elementary school as you can. I am sure you’ll meet other dedicated parents and you can make a difference-not only for your children but for those that are less fortunate. Your kids will LOVE that you are involved in their school, help out in the classroom, and available for them if they get sick, etc. You’ll also be in a position to observe who the very best teachers are and make sure your kids get them!</p>

<p>If you feel that it isn’t what you really want then plan B–move to the better district. I agree that their education is important but so is the time that they spend with you. You are the one that will shape them into the people they become and the one they will want to be with (this from a working mom).</p>

<p>Really does depend on the kid.</p>

<p>We chose Private and are now faced with some hard decisions for colleges because we do not have the money for college. But, for us, it was the correct decision. I am convinced my oldest would not be on course for college if he were in our public school. My neice on the other hand has exceled in our public and would not have done as well in private school. She was able to shine.</p>

<p>Currently, I have 2 in elementary school (private) and we are evaluating if remaining in private is best for them. Each of my children have a different learning style and different needs. </p>

<p>I recommend you not move yet. Continue watching how your kids develop. Don’t feel that all your kids need to go to the same school.</p>

<p>A little more info…</p>

<p>You see, in this day and age, I actually do contribute 1/2 of the household income at present. So, if we stay here and I ever need to change jobs, there aren’t a lot of high income jobs to be found near the beach…rather, they are closer to Boston. </p>

<p>so I always thought it would make more sense to live closer to jobs…but my hubby likes the beach so that is where we settled down.</p>

<p>I don’t want to ever work full time again, but being closer to companies certainly would provide me with more part time opportunities for the next 20 years. If we stay where we are, who picks the sick child up from school should I ever need to be in the office rather than working from home? It would also mean I wouldn’t be able to get through the horrendous traffic back to the north shore in time for sports, school activities, etc…so I always felt being closer to work would be better. But now I have become more accustomed to the ‘laid back’ feel of the north shore.</p>

<p>It wouldn’t be easy for us to live on one income and public schools. So one income and private schools are out of the question.</p>

<p>momtothreeboys, your kids are going to be fine. You are so ahead of the game – you have an advanced degree, you value education, and you will have an enriching home life.</p>

<p>Do you every read Metafilter or AskMetafilter. Here are some interesting questions about public and private education if you are interested:</p>

<p>[Should</a> we send our daughter to Catholic school? - parenthood buddhism catholic | Ask MetaFilter](<a href=“http://ask.metafilter.com/56295/Should-we-send-our-daughter-to-Catholic-school]Should”>Should we send our daughter to Catholic school? - parenthood buddhism education | Ask MetaFilter)</p>

<p>[Public</a> or private? - education schools | Ask MetaFilter](<a href=“http://ask.metafilter.com/56004/Public-or-private]Public”>Public or private? - education schools | Ask MetaFilter)</p>

<p>[Best</a> elementary schools… - education | Ask MetaFilter](<a href=“http://ask.metafilter.com/67922/Best-elementary-schools]Best”>Best elementary schools... - education | Ask MetaFilter)</p>

<p>[How</a> to augment lackluster 1st grade teacher’s performance? - school kids | Ask MetaFilter](<a href=“http://ask.metafilter.com/89400/How-to-augment-lackluster-1st-grade-teachers-performance]How”>How to augment lackluster 1st grade teacher's performance? - school kids | Ask MetaFilter)</p>

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<p>[Looking</a> for interesting ideas for helping kids learn & experience life - kids family | Ask MetaFilter](<a href=“http://ask.metafilter.com/66554/Looking-for-interesting-ideas-for-helping-kids-learn-and-experience-life]Looking”>Looking for interesting ideas for helping kids learn & experience life - family | Ask MetaFilter)</p>

<p>[Posts</a> tagged with publicschool | Ask MetaFilter](<a href=“http://ask.metafilter.com/tags/publicschool]Posts”>Posts tagged with publicschool | Ask MetaFilter)</p>

<p>OP- do you have adequate life insurance in case something happens to your H or to you? Do both of you have disability insurance? </p>

<p>I think the conversation about moving, what kind and how big of a home to own, etc. is part of a much bigger discussion about your financial future… and the kids education is both part of that discussion and tangential to it.</p>

<p>Good point, blossom.</p>

<p>We put our 4 kids through private (Jewish) day school through 8th grade partly by being in a too-small house for most of those years. I know if we had moved to a drop-dead house as some of our peers were doing (and the bank numbers said we could “afford”) we either would have had fewer children or not had them in private school.</p>

<p>Then when it approached HS time we moved to a better school district (and by then we could afford a more reasonable house for our family size). </p>

<p>So yes, all these questions are related and it’s complex and too early for the OP to make decisions about HS yet. You have to do what’s best for your family situation and values. At the elementary level, a good enriching home life is job one!</p>

<p>Following his freshman year, we wanted to transfer our son from a Midwest public school to a private school in Northeast. After visiting Exeter in summer, and knowing that the IMO math coach was a teacher there, he could not wait to move. But when the real time came he backed off. He stayed back, worked real hard, and with help from AOPS, made it to USAMO and with a little luck to USABO. His school was not the best but was safe and nurturing.</p>

<p>In most cases, a student up to middle school could get all the help from their parents. No one knows your child more than you do. A student in high school could get online help to supplement his school, and his parents’ limitations. USAMO math is way beyond my math ability. So my 2C, please stay where you are, get involve with their schooling, and save for their future tuitions. The fact that you are thinking through the process so early in their developments tells me that they will do fine. </p>

<p>And if possible, start a story reading club, and then a story writing club, and later a Math Club, all the parents will love you.</p>

<p>As an Army family, we bought in the best school district in the county when we moved here. The kids were two and five. Hubby retired. The school board (up until recently we had an appointed school board that was accountable to no one, but appointed by the governor) made some crazy decisions when child one was in ninth grade. Both kids were moved to private schools–one independent, one Catholic.</p>

<p>The moral of the story is that things change, so I think that the advice of above posters is pretty good.</p>

<p>I commented earlier in thread and I just wanted to say that I come from strong blue collar roots; DH & I are still the only people in our respective families that have graduated from college. I have a lot of respect for blue collar communities; I think in a lot of ways they are stronger communities with deeper roots at least compared to suburbs that have a lot of relo’d residents. Not all of course. But I wouldn’t move right away just because of that.</p>

<p>One theme that has come up in a number of posts is “get involved.” Here’s what I’ve seen in all communities that I’ve lived in: the kids whose parents are involved in the school, scouting and sports are generally the kids who are the top students. If you sit in a PTA executive board meeting, chances are you’re going to be sitting next to someone who is also a Girl Scout leader with you or whose husband coaches soccer with your husband. There is a lot of overlap. It can be annoying when you look around and the same 10 people are the only ones who step up to be the class parent, sunday school teacher and run the fundraiser for Pop Warner. I’ll admit to ranting quite a few times when my kids were in elementary school & I couldn’t get more than one other parent to help me with (fill in the blank.) But now that my kids are high school & college aged, I wouldn’t go back and change a thing. </p>

<p>The invisible advantage is that being tied in gives you inside information and access. Teachers know you and that you value education which can sometimes give your child an advantage. I don’t mean in a sneaky kind of way. It’s about relationships. </p>

<p>IMHO, if you can still work part time & volunteer on a regular basis while the kids are in elementary school that will serve you better (financially, emotionally) than going back to work full time & paying private tuition. After elementary school you may need to make a change, but that’s a long time down the road.</p>

<p>You have 3 children.
Private schools cost more than most universities and the cost of private schools go up every year. I know because my brother and I attended private schools since Kindergarten until 12th grade.
Personally I don’t think private schools are worth it. You spend so much money and you aren’t guaranteed that your child will attend a top school.<br>
You are much better off letting them go to the top public school.<br>
I did make the choice to go to public school for 2 years. I overall loved the experience not just academically but socially. I did transfer back to a college prep private school bc they were changing districts during my 2nd year and would have had to go to a not so great public school.
I hated the prep school atmosphere. </p>

<p>You can save money by going to the public school. Private school tuition is insane. I hate how they raise the prices every year.</p>

<p>I agree with everyone who says to get involved, no matter where you end up! The rewards will pay you back many times over.
I think that the part about looking at you like you had two heads when you asked to see the school is very, very concerning. They may not have the personnel to give you a “tour” but they should, at the very least, allow prospective parents to observe classrooms. Was this the principal who denied you this access or was it a secretary?
Would you consider doing the following:
Ask a school principal to observe at the higher-ranked district. If you are allowed to do this, go ahead and observe. Then, contact the principal of the local school where you live and explain that you are deciding whether to move out of the district, and that you would like to observe at the school to help you make this decision. If you are denied, contact your school board representative and tell him or her that you are prospective parents deciding whether or not to move, and that you were denied access. You can point out that other districts have allowed you to observe. You could keep going up - superintendant, school board president. Confidentiality is no excuse. Observers go into classrooms all over the U.S., all the time.
I would say that this is the first step of getting involved! This step could be significant in changing the culture. And you, as a taxpaying customer, deserve this.
And you may have already PMd the poster who said that she lives in the same town to see if you could meet with her and some other parents - this could be very helpful, in terms of information and relationships.
Good luck - please let us know what you decide!</p>

<p>I say: buy a house accessible to Boston in an area with a great school district, and buy a beach house as well. It sounds like this would be doable for you folks, and it makes sense as an investment.</p>

<p>@ levirm & the OP: some districts are really strict about letting people tour the school to the extreme. Our old district in NJ was like that too. Frankly, there had been issues with non custodial parents etc. and it was easier to just say no. I even got reprimanded one time for talking to my D while she was at recess by one of the lunch ladies. There were lots of rules that were based in trying to avoid lawsuits, certainly not based in common sense.</p>

<p>Imagine my surprise when we moved & parents were allowed (and encouraged) to eat lunch with their kids in the cafeteria!</p>

<p>Agree that a phone call to the superintendent’s office to set up a tour would be the best course of action.</p>

<p>RobD, thanks for pointing that out. Obviously, problems with non-custodial parents can be avoided and people who will observing can be cleared ahead of time and asked for I.D… But to totally deny the taxpaying citizen the ability to see where her money is going is ludicrous. My kids have attended an urban public school and I was not only allowed to observe, but was invited back to “see what it was like to go from 8th to 9th grade” by observing in an 8th grade in the morning and 9th in the afternoon. Just this year, my daughter’s class has been observed by a delegation of Chinese principals, a delegation from Kyrgyzstan, people from the Gates Foundation, other foundations, prospective parents, you name it. If observation is not allowed, it makes me very suspicious that someone is trying to hide something. Educators need to realize that kids and parents are customers!</p>

<p>I am very close to the ground in this situation, and what I am telling you is potentially against my own interest. I don’t want to say too much. </p>

<p>I am watching budget cuts tear apart our high performing school district. Prop 2.5 combined with first reliance and the cuts of federal stimulus and cuts in local aid from the state have done what I thought would be impossible. I don’t feel that there is a sense of reality among those who manage our town about how much additional money it would take to maintain our quality, or even among many parents who don’t see the effects of many years of compounding when costs exceed 2.5% and revenues don’t. Each battle is fought one year at time, and the hole just keeps getting deeper. We are not staring into the abyss, we are in it. </p>

<p>My advice to you is to divide school districts into the follow 4 categories</p>

<p>1) High performing, well funded - regularly passes Prop 2.5 overrides with no problem to fund schools
2) High performing, poorly funded - tolerates budget cuts over overrides.
3) Not so high performing, well funded (best example is Cambridge)
4) Not so high performing, poorly funded </p>

<p>Look for (1), this is the one you want. It costs a lot of money, but you get to keep your house when you are done with the schools. Private school tuition is lost forever. </p>

<p>Avoid (2). This is deceptively expensive, seems promising, I mean how bad can it really get? Wrong. You are buying into a sinking ship. </p>

<p>(3) is an interesting option. It may be what you have now. It’s worth a shot. You should be able to tell pretty quickly if your kid is getting the attention that they need. You need to pay attention and make sure your kids are getting sufficiently challenged. You may need to bail for HS, but you save a lot of money if you can access good public schools. </p>

<p>(4) - private school if you want an education. </p>

<p>I can’t stress how important this is. Things are deteriorating extremely rapidly. In the old days when we looked for our house, test scores were important, budget wasn’t that much of an issue. Test scores and statistics are now meaningless because it’s old data. The changes I’ve witnessed over one or two years will shock you. </p>

<p>In my opinion, the stability of a town’s school budget is the most important aspect of your decision going forward. </p>

<p>Up until the Romney administration, state aid was used generously to manage Prop 2.5 issues throughout the state. Overrides were rare, but usually successful. Romney cut state aid, Patrick has not been able to restore it, tea party mentality has set in. Overrides are failing left and right. </p>

<p>Good luck with a hard decision.</p>

<p>How about attending open house at the local district? These are usually in the spring and everyone has access. There are all sorts of displays that show what the students have been doing all year and there is also PTA information available. You’ll also have a chance to see the library and the programs they offer. </p>

<p>Also, if your oldest is getting ready for K or preppy-K there is usually some type of “kindergarten roundup” where they try to get all the parents and new students together for a classroom visit and question/answer period. These also usually happen in spring.</p>

<p>Visiting some schools has changed quite a bit in the wake of 9/11. In my small town district, parents have to have a background check (finger prints and the works) just to drive for field trips (at the parents expense). It is sad but then again I think it is important to know who has access to your kids. The only time I have seen a “stranger” on campus for a tour is when they are accompanied by the administration.</p>

<p>As a parent in the Boston 'burbs…

  1. Some school districts have open houses, but many do not and do not allow tours unless you are already living in the town. You can get lots of info online generally, but it won’t tell you about the feel of district.
  2. Private schools around here are expensive. Annual tuition ranges from probably about $15,000 for a lower priced elementary grade to about $33,000 for an upper end high school year. Admissions is very competitive at many schools, and you may find that your children, by middle/high school are in three different schools.
  3. There is a lot of roiling around in public districts now, although the best ones will probably still be good.</p>

<p>Yes, mtnmomma, I guess since I have criminal and child abuse clearances for work, that was not an issue for me to observe. Everyone knows that my employer requires clearances, so I just had to show my work ID and it was fine. I, like all of the kids, went through the metal detector and had my bag inspected, as I do every time I walk into the school (often!)
Maybe the OP’s employer requires clearances and she can prove herself that way?</p>