<p>Manhattan75 – Cosmopolitan is not a pornographic magazine. I’ve had therapists, they’ve all been women, I’m a woman.</p>
<p>To the OP, I think there is a difference between something that is interactive verses magazines or movies but the stripper club argument did sway me a little, I can’t think of much difference between what he is doing and going to a strip club.</p>
<p>How much time is he spending doing this? Are you concerned that he has a problem with an addiction.</p>
<p>I don’t know why people find this thread funny. I know someone who has destroyed his career because of an addiction of pornography. There are many work places where you aren’t supposed to view pornography, and if you consistently and recklessly violate those rules you will get fired. He did it in more than one different job within his field and at this point I don’t think he’ll ever find a position in the field he spent his whole life training for again.</p>
<p>Maybe ask him why he’s watching porn and see if your relationship is somehow lacking. There has to be a reason as to why he is so interested in the interaction of the webcam.</p>
<p>First of all, “nearly every guy” does not mean “every guy,” myself as only one example. And I do think there is something inherently wrong with porn, but that’s another issue.</p>
<p>The bigger point is that the OP should NEVER have to sacrifice her morals for the sake of her boyfriend’s lack of sexual control. I just wanted to clear that up in case she felt uncomfortable coming across as a control freak if she mentioned how she didn’t like him watching porn at all.</p>
<p>I think the issue here should be his lack of self-control, makes him a rather weak person, hopefully not someone you want to be your significant other. I’m not a girl, but if I were that’s what I would find unattractive, and what I would break up with him over, not because I consider that “cheating.” I’m not making judgment on whether or not it is, I’m just saying that it’s silly to worry about whether it’s cheating or not, as if you need some concrete strictly defined definition to determine who you want to be romantically involved with. Decide something for yourself.</p>
<p>Not all men have prostitutes. Not all women rely on the emotional fulfillment of a male therapist, though I suppose gender is less important for women than men in this particular case, since women are looking for an emotional connection and not purely a physical one.</p>
<p>Like many people on here, the concept of trends and generalizations (even those based in biological and scientific fact) are foreign to you. Men are more visually stimulated than women. Fact. That’s why the pornography industry is most heavily marketed to men. Women are more emotionally stimulated. Fact. That’s why the romantic novel industry is marketed towards women, as is astrology and psychics and all of that nonsense.</p>
<p>Pea - We’ve talked about it. He admits it’s an addiction, and he seems genuine when he says he’s going to definitely cool it, and for sure no more of the web cam stuff. I believe him, he’s a really, really bad liar. He’s definitely not the type to do it at his work, but it’s become obvious that he’s doing this to the point where it’s interfering with his life. I mean, if you come home and jump straight to porn for 3 hours until I get home (which is what I’ve learned he does on more days than not)… that’s definitely interfering with your life… I think he knows this now.</p>
<p>Manhattan - you come off as really condescending… makes me not want to talk to you. what you stated aren’t facts. They are assumptions made by marketers, based on research. That’s not a fact. you use the word fact a lot. It’s funny you put the words “scientific” and “fact” back-to-back, because if you understood scientific research, rule number one is that NOTHING is fact, no matter how compelling the data. There is only hypothesis and data to support or deny it. A good amount of supporting data and it’s a theory, but never a fact. But that is soooo beyond the scope of this tiny, little thread. So really, are you supporting him for jerkin’ the bird to some girls over webcams, so long as I continue to read cosmopolitan, or what? lol</p>
<p>This has surely turned into an interesting thread nonetheless…</p>
<p>oh no, there’s plenty of facts. The Earth is round, but research wasn’t necessary to discover that one, just a pair of eyeballs did the trick.
Opinions are nice, that’s why I’m here.
I already went with my gut feeling, things are fine. I’m just enjoying the talk.</p>
<p>Here’s a fact that hasn’t been disproved since the beginning of time- guys like porn. It’s up to you to decide whether he’s using it as a replacement for you or as something to waste time.</p>
<p>Please, you are a strong, independent woman - and don’t let others tell you what you should FEEL. You have every right to feel upset, in which case you are. And you can feel happy, even if everyone else in the thread to tell you to feel upset.</p>
<p>Very well. Live in your fantasy world where men don’t like porn any more than women do and men love to talk about their feelings. I mean, it’s not like it has been displayed in nearly every facet of world cultures since the beginning of recorded history.</p>
<p>I think you’ve got a really good handle on what the potential problem is here. If it isn’t an addiction then it is headed in that direction. So will he be able to walk away, or at least reign in the behavior? Or will the behavior continue and get more out of control? Time will tell and it sounds like you are quite in touch with reality here. As a person who can become addicted to things myself I know it is easier for some people than others to walk away from self-destructive behavior.</p>
<p>lol. he’s got hobbies. porn was just a secret one I guess. not all of that time is spent in chat sites. It’s definitely something to waste time for him… but excess is also a killer.</p>
<p>Or maybe some lotion for the rug burn he’s gotta have going by now.</p>
<p>Also, I don’t know if he’s necessarily planning on doing this in advance for whenever you leave. I’ve noticed I tend to get myself a small snack every time my girlfriend goes out. It’s generally just a few peanuts, a carrot, or a glass of juice, but I’ll almost immediately wander into the kitchen and look for a bite right when she goes out. Maybe it’s because I can have a small snack of whatever I feel like having without needing to ask if she wants anything.</p>
<p>Well he was the one that admitted the addiction, and that it needs to be fixed… sooo… how is it that I’m the critical one? But seriously though, he’s has an issue; that warrants some critical-talk… or else I’d just be enabling him, no?</p>
<p>Anyone else have any similar issues? I’m not talking about just porn here and there, like some of you are still thinking that’s my issue, but more so with flat out addiction problems? I kind of feel like 4 pages into this thing and I’m getting put under a microscope…</p>
<p>Manhattan75: While I disagree with your post, pretty much in its entirety, I’m not going to comment on your whole post, because I believe the other posters already addressed my concerns. One key thing, however, is that you cannot compare Cosmopolitan to Playboy. The articles in Cosmo, while “sexually explicit,” are not intended to arouse women in any way. Playboy, however, is intended to arouse men. The articles describe various aspects of dating and sexuality, but again, the intention is not for arousal. A textbook might explain “sexually explicit” acts (albeit with proper language instead of slang), but you can’t compare a textbook to Playboy and lambaste the two as being on in the same.</p>