<p>I read on this thread there was a death in the family. That could lead to concentration issues, academically, etc. There was a case of a boy who's mother died when he was in high school (beginning of junior year I believe) and he did pretty well until then when he began failing (horrible SATs, grades dropped, etc.) He's now at Columbia. Colleges look at scores, grades, etc. in context of situations.</p>
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The thread has been interesting but not entirely believable.
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<p>very true. Inconsistent and somewhat lacking in specific detail as well. Then again, perhaps it was all a rouse just to get people going?</p>
<p>As an aside: you know what I always find interesting and seriously, I just find it interesting. It's when people point out how respectful their being or whatever <insert superior="" behavior=""> when they say they are ignoring something (aka "snarky reply") when in fact by even mentioning it, they aren't ignoring it in the least! It's like the apology that goes, "I am sorry, but if you weren't such an idiot...". Hardly an apology by even the most generous of definitions. Can also be found in statements such as, "I am choosing to ignore <insert offense="" here="">, but... "</insert></insert></p>
<p>Totally irrelevant however and we now return to regular programming.</p>
<p>A friend of my son's did her senior speech on the affects her father's death has had on her. He died of cancer when she was in 8th grade. She is a completely charming and wonderful girl, and she was so incredibly honest and wonderful in her speech. But she showed that you sometimes can really miss what makes an individual tick and why.</p>
<p>^^^ We still have many unanswered questions, chinnyching.
I have a friend who refers to her stepchildren as her children. Their bio mom passed away many years ago. Yes, very sad, and clearly has an impact on everyone.</p>
<p>I know this is overkill... but until we know whether in this case there is a son (whose father reportedly is deceased) or a daughter (whose father we know nothing about) or what.. this is all speculation.</p>
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very true. Inconsistent and somewhat lacking in specific detail as well. Then again, perhaps it was all a rouse just to get people going?
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Absolutely.
As for all the other "gee I was just musing.. I want to get the last word in and make my point.. but there is no need to respond...." comment above, it seems to be all about not letting it go. To clarify the posts above, the light-hearted comment about respecting senior posters (post 253) was in response to the light hearted comment about being a loser (posts 250 and 251). However, it seems there was a misunderstanding on your part, modadunn, and you came back with what seemed to be a rather harsh post (#256), only part of which I responded to. I tried to clarify and explain (post #258) that part of my post was between two older "senior" posters, but you seemed to want to continue to challenge, and since you chose to continue, I then chose to address the rest of your initially harsh post in response to your continued comments. I hope that clarifies (though it probably confuses more than clarifies, LOL) Now, lets move on, shall we???</p>
<p>Some posters are new and, understandiblty, arent familiar with other posters or with other posters history. Sometimes it is helpful just to ask.</p>
<p>I haven't had a chance to read through all the posts yet, but am going to go ahead and post anyway. First, an 1830 SAT is not "sort of dumb" - the national average is something like a 1500. At my daughter's large public hs, an 1830 is considered very good.</p>
<p>Kids who look "average" on CC are way above average. Most hs kids don't take even one AP class. In my D's hs, with a senior class of over 400, exactly 6 got AP Scholar by senior year. </p>
<p>I have a friend who got her degree at one of those "big mediocre public schools" - a 4th tier state university, one of the lowest ranked of the non-flagships. She now has a PhD from Columbia and no one cares where she got her BA.</p>
<p>Give your daughter a chance to find herself. What does she want to do? Does she want "vocational training" or to go to college? Lots of kids don't know what they want to do until junior year or so of college - the distribution requirements that colleges have help not only produce a good general education, but also get kids to study different subjects and maybe discover a completely new interest. </p>
<p>Maybe a session with a counselor would be helpful to her in exploring her options, and to you in accepting your daughter for the great kid she is.</p>
<p>Hmmmm.... just stumbled across this post in another thread <a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/1061404316-post13.html%5B/url%5D">http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/1061404316-post13.html</a>. The OP seems to suggest that she has "children" (plural), though its difficult to tell if the reference is to current or future.
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In my next life, I will avoid the SAT and the College Board. I will take the ACT and so will my children.
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So confusing.
Clarification sure would be helpful.......</p>
<p>In my next life... I assume that means they are coming back to live their lives over and when faced with SAT or ACT will take the ACT (avoid the hassle of the current SAT issues) and then go on to encourage their eventual children to do the same. </p>
<p>It's either sarcasm or zen.</p>
<p>The question is, how many children does the OP have?</p>
<p>Possibly she's really asking the question about her S in a disguised way to protect privacy?</p>
<p>Perhaps in her next life she wants a different number of children?</p>
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My son is an only and went off to BS 20 miles from home with three of his 8th grade classmates.
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...could have been a poorly-worded way of saying he's her only son? Doesn't explain the age discrepancy though.</p>
<p>I haven't read all the posts but I have somewhat the opposite problem. My older two children (college junior & hs senior) did very well in school and got into the colleges that they applied to. They did not apply to any ivies or "most selective colleges" nor do I think they would have gotten in but easily got into the "more selective" schools based on their sats and gpas. I have a 10th grade d who has always performed above average on standardized tests but not in the range of her siblings. Also her report cards are usually around the 5 A's and 3 B's range. I do not know what her sat scores might be but I am worried - not for me but for her. You see, I don't really care where she goes to school or how much money she might make - I just want her to be happy. My husband and I are reformed (and retired) type A computer professionals who have become old-fashioned liberal hippies in our old age. She insists on taking the toughest schedule possible which I'm fine with because I value learning over grades but she then feels dumb because she doesn't make A's like her siblings. On one hand I want to say, so what if you're not as smart, there's three of you and someone has to be last but I know that would not go over well. I guess my question is how do I go about making her feel that she needs to just strive to be the best she can be and stop competing with her siblings. While I have never felt the need to hide her siblings report cards and sats scores from her, I have never tried to make her feel inferior to them even though I know she does.</p>
<p>You should really start a new thread; this one sort of has a reputation of it's own, and too many posts to read before getting to yours. Look for the new post button at the top of the parents forum, name it something funny, humble, and maybe a little titilating, and check for typos, because you can't correct titles.</p>
<p>Good luck!</p>
<p>Agreed that you will get a lot more responses if you start a new thread, with as was said, an interesting/funny/quirky title.</p>
<p>Each child has to find his/her own path and learn how to see his/her own strengths (easier said than done). My younger sibs (there were 7 of us) had a really hard time establishing themselves, since we all went to all the same schools, K-12 & the teachers had all of us a few years apart.....the younger ones had a hard time getting out from the shadows cast by us older ones, but eventually each did. I'm sure it pained my younger sibs until they finally decided to do what they wanted to because it was what they wanted. </p>
<p>As parents, we can't really make the world perfect for our kids. They recognize that each kid is different intellectually but it does rankle them that sometimes they watch how easily their sibs "get it" while they struggle & struggle to come close. All we can do is support and enjoy each, hoping each will find his/her own way. (If I'm missing somethhing, I'd love to know.)</p>
<p>'Merely average' ??????? The title of this thread is awful...as if there is anything wrong with being average. Average kids go on to do great things, like go to med school, become a lawyer, or even president of the US (Obama was merely average in high school). I know some kids who graduated at the top of their class last year who flamed out in college. They couldn't handle the social scene or the fact that they weren't patted on the back for every little accomplishment. There are others who weren't great students in high school but who got straight 'A's in college. Just because a kid is average does not mean they will not go on to do great things, and valedictorians do not always lead happy lives.</p>
<p>'"Merely average' ??????? The title of this thread is awful"</p>
<p>But look how many views and responses it got!</p>
<p>^^ Including your view and response, shrinkrap! Sorry, I just could not resist! :D</p>
<p>1830 is a good score (average of 610 on all three sections). This is well above average although it will not impress the Ivies and similar "elite" schools. However, ten years from now there will be successful doctors and attorneys who scored lower than 1830 on the SAT. Of course these are not the only career choices. Are you looking at the U.S. News and World Report rankings? Rutgers, SMU and Purdue would find your daughter's scores about average for their entering freshman class.</p>
<p>Woah. I mean, seriously. 1830? What about, oh I don't know, the thousands of other students in the nation that had an ACTUALLY mediocre score? A score WAYY lower than hers? What about the students that are not taking any AP classes at all? I'm sorry but you labeling your daughter as a loser/dumb is just wrong. And uninterested in academics?
Seriously, why would ou even think that? Your daughter seems motivated enough, and maybe she doesn't have a perfect GPA or SAT score, but many of us don't. She might be average, but there is nothing wrong with that. I'm sure if she put enough effort into it, she could do better, but she's doing fine already, so there is no reason for you to call her a loser, kthanks</p>
<p>Linda: I am sitting here in San Diego shortly after they have confirmed the death of the second child as a result of the fighter jet plunging into the house in Universal City yesterday. All I can think of is lost opportunities. What could those children have been?</p>
<p>You apparently have lost your husband. I am sorry for your loss.</p>
<p>Don't lose your daughter too.</p>
<p>The comments you make I know come from heartfelt concern. We all want our children to be successful adults. We worry about what will come of them when we are gone. You have extra reasons to be concerned, for she does not have a father she can turn to if something should happen to you. So, you do have every reason to push.</p>
<p>But in pushing, you could be driving your child away when all she really has is you.</p>
<p>Ultimately, what is it we want for our children? </p>
<p>Long ago I decided it wasn't just for them to make money. When I was young, I made a choice that in part was pushed upon me by my parents. I decided to become a lawyer instead of pursuing other options. I make a very good living. We are comfortable. But most of the time I do not have joy in my career. I also have never lived anywhere but California. I have not taken any chances.</p>
<p>I have told my Ds that they are lucky. My husband and I are going to do everything in our power to give them the chance to do whatever gives them joy. We are encouraging them to pursue careers that may be a little different, less likely to make money. We will be able to pick them up if they fall. But my point to them has been this: do what gives you joy, for this is what you will be doing for the rest of your life. Be happy above all. </p>
<p>My youngest D (a freshman) hasn't a clue what this will be. So what? College is about finding yourself. If it takes her longer, so be it. </p>
<p>And you should be rest assured that with your daughter's academics and SAT scores (by no means average... and perhaps you just needed all these people to tell you that....) she will be admitted to a good college and have that opportunity to do so too.</p>
<p>But, above all things, don't equate success with money, a particular profession, or whatever expectations you have for your daughter. Success will be measured in her happiness... her finding a profession she loves, her finding lasting love... and her continued strong and healthy relationship with you.</p>
<p>Don't lose what really matters.</p>
<p>^^^ well said, snowgurl</p>