<p>So, are you saying that her dad won’t provide the financial info? I realize that he won’t help with any $$, but will he likely do the forms? I’m guessing that he hasn’t paid child support? </p>
<p>If her dad won’t fill out the forms, has anyone told you what college do then? </p>
<p>To TheDAD…
Can you recommend any private schools for the OP that would likely meet full-need without any (or very, very little) student loans? The OP’s stats are on the first page. (And, what would these schools do if her dad won’t provide info for PROFILE??</p>
<p>Will your daughter by any chance be “first generation?”</p>
<p>With your modest income and if she is first generation, there may be private schools who are interested in her for that reason. Colleges are eager to reach out to kids who fall in this category. </p>
<p>Good luck, she sounds like a great kid, but one with a strong will.</p>
<p>It’s too bad the deadline for Questbridge has past. That would have been a good option for this student. </p>
<p>Is she a National Merit Scholar? It looks like she could qualify for some of the guaranteed scholarships based on that. But, honestly, I think this family should add in the state flagship and focus on colleges that meet full need. As long as she has taken the proper courses, this is an attractive student (numbers-wise) with a lot of need. If she gets accepted at a top college, it can make it happen. I am thinking schools like Stanford, Duke, Wash U, Emory, USC. Some of these might be reaches, but she has so much to gain that I would cast a wide net among national merit schools and schools that meet full need.</p>
<p>By the way, BU and AU have scholarships for top kids. BU is very clear about the way it disperses merit money and mom can log onto the website to see how her daughter matches up.</p>
<p>You can reassure your daughter that many of us were in the same situation as her. Smart, had great Stats and got into some of the most prestigious private colleges in this country but chose our State Honors College or Flagship University due to cost. I chose SUNY Geneseo (NY) over NYU and then attended NYU for graduate school. That is always an option for her. I believe unless you receive an incredible financial aid package to graduate undergrad with a lot of debt to only earn on average 42k a year as a new graduate is just not worth it. Save the money for graduate school. I have no regrets. SUNY Geneseo as well as other top Public Liberal Arts Colleges and Unversities are just as challenging as many of the top privates and provide a top rate education. </p>
<p>I pasted a link below to a similar story as mine but also take a look at the SUNY Geneseo forum where I posted a thread “SUNY Geneseo vs. Top Private University”. A few people commented there. </p>
<p>Of course, the financial safety is a huge issue but, like you, I would also be concerned about her getting accepted. My son has similar stats (you don’t say if the 3.9 is UW or WA) and has/had three of those schools on his list - recommended by his counselor. Chicago - high reach. American and GW - med-to-high matches. I suspect BU and NYU would also be med-to-high matches. She needs a solid safety just to have a fall back. There is always that slim chance she gets wait-listed or rejected at all these schools.</p>
<p>My son has also been in this mind-set, “if I can’t get into one of the top-ranked schools, I don’t want to be at the cr*ppy State U” (his words). I’ve been taking him (by force!) to see some of the in-state options. He has finally conceded that they won’t be so bad after all and liked some of them in spite of himself. We are making him apply to 2 of them. We are also looking at some good LACs where merit aid is more likely and he has a good shot of getting in. </p>
<p>What’s her GC say? They usually insist on a safety.</p>
<p>You also need to show her what it will cost her, on a monthly basis, to repay any loans she takes out, Do illustrations at 20,000, 50,000 75,000 and 100,000.
Make sure she understands it will be HER liability and not yours.
Also I believe student loans are not forgiveable during personal bankruptcy (but am fuzzy on this point so others correct me if I am wrong). Then it is her decision.</p>
<p>There are not many careers which can comfortably support big loans but as you haven;t said what she wants to study, don;t know if she will be able to carry substantial debt or not after her graduation.</p>
<p>Also is grad school in the cards? Need to factor that in as well if yes. Good luck.</p>
<p>The blunt truth that you must make sure your daughter understands is that if she doesn’t get adequate financial aid from any of the colleges on her list, her only option at that point will be to stay home and attend a community college for a year and then transfer elsewhere.</p>
<p>The key words here are “stay home for a year.” Most kids don’t want to do that. </p>
<p>Your purpose in suggesting financial safety schools is to try to give her a way to still go away to college even if the financial aid at her favorites doesn’t work out. You’re on the same side.</p>
<p>you have to focus on finaid. Finding the right private college is probably the way to go. Many lower ranked schools, 3rd tier will not work for you. But with your daughters stats it is possible to get into a full need, no loan school. That will save you and her possibly 50 grand.</p>
<p>It will save her daughter the money. This mother cannot afford to pay for college, at all, which is why the D is being frivolous in not finding the right financial situation. I have heard of parents who have taken thier children in to banks to see loan officers to have the whole thing explained to them. It helps. Also, it might make your D recognize on a more fundamental level that when you say “I can’t pay for that,” you really literally mean, “I can’t pay for that.”</p>
<p>One question you need to get answered from the people on the financial aid board is what is going to happen when absent paternity figure does not fill out forms. These forms are oddly unforgiving about these types of things, though I’m sure there is a specific way something like this gets handled. Your D needs to know what these specific requirements will be so she can get that done, as well.</p>
<p>even under the best case scenario your D will probably be taking out “some” loans. I wouldn’t worry overly much about her over-borrowing since that depends on co-signed loans, which you aren’t going to do, even if the bank would “let” you.</p>
<p>I don’t think it’s a good idea for people to recommend any pricey colleges whose idea of “aid” is a package that would leave this girl with student loan debt of $40k (or likely much more) at graduation. Not only would such a debt (+ or -) be very difficult for her to pay back, she wouldn’t have a parent who could comfortably assist with repayment if she had any trouble. That debt would be a monkey on her back for many, many years.</p>
<p>I would also be concerned that when spring comes with F/A packages, a determined child might insist on taking on such loans, because she’s determined to go to one of these schools.</p>
<p>To the OP… I kind of went thru what you did with DS1… He is an NMF, Val, very high stats, etc…he felt he “deserved” to go to some pricey elite school that we couldn’t afford (our EFC is too high). One of the things that changed his mind was visiting some very attractive affordable schools that I had found thru research. </p>
<p>I booked some campus tours during on days that I knew those campuses would be open ( a must!!!). I either chose a day when my kid’s own school was closed, or I knew would be a light academic day, so it wouldn’t be a big deal to miss. Visiting very attractive campuses, that had strong academics, honor programs, nice dorms, very attractive rec facilities “did the trick” with my son. He could see that a state school didn’t have to mean a subpar school. Previously, my son’s only exposure to a state school was the smallish regional public by our home; he mistakenly thought that’s how all publics are. But, when he saw that flagship state schools are much nicer, he happily applied. </p>
<p>Students like you D might appreciate a larger state school that has an honors program. Honors programs give a “smaller school” within a big school feel. Bigger schools often have many advantages over smaller schools. Bigger schools often offer more majors, and often have more profs teaching the same course (that allows you to avoid a prof tht you might not like! LOL ) Also, some larger state schools have bigger and nicer recreation and activity centers which can also be very appealing to a student. I know my son was mesmerized by the incredible rec center and the super nice dorms at the school he now attends…</p>
<p>I’ve forgotten if you’ve mentioned your home state? Does your state have any agreements with other states for “in-state” tuition at their publics? Have you and your D gone on a campus tour at your state’s flagship U? If not, you both need to go. :)</p>
<p>this student is in a income level where most state schools won’t work, but with her stats there is a golden opportunity here - her mom needs to educate herself very quickly on the financial matters and take advantage otherwise we will have another very good low income candidate going to the local cc. Her best and maybe only financial options may well be “pricey” private universities. There should at least be 3 or 4 on her list as well as a couple of state schools. A more sophisticated app would also be taking advantage of ED at the better no loan privates.</p>
<p>** Speedo ** -> Which “no loan” schools are those that wouldn’t be unreasonable reaches for a student with a 2010 SAT? I know some ivies and Vandy have “no loans” F/A, but what other schools are like that? Which schools are not hard to get accepted to? (Vandy is getting very difficult).</p>
<p>If she pursues the private school route, I think a serious problem could be the father. He won’t pay, but he may have an income that will prevent her from qualifying for such F/A. Or, he may refuse to provide financial info - another problem.</p>
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<p>We really don’t know if she would be considered a “low income” student at a private if the dad’s income is too high or he won’t provide info.</p>
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<p>I don’t agree. Depending on the state and the school, this may end being her least expensive option. At a state school, she won’t need her dad’s financial info.</p>
<p>“would also be concerned that when spring comes with F/A packages, a determined child might insist on taking on such loans, because she’s determined to go to one of these schools.”</p>
<p>She’d need a cosigner to take out the big loans that she needs. Presumably the mother wouldn’t be foolish enough to cosign. It’s unlikely that the D would find an adult willing to potentially wreck their credit due to the D’s foolishness.</p>
<p>“s far as college application fees, goes, that hasn’t been an issue yet, as she hasn’t sent any apps out; she’s still working on the Common App. I was thinking about not paying them for certain schools (although I was told that due to my income, I would qualify for fee waivers.) However, I do have to step up and do this. I really cannot afford to take loans out on her behalf. (Although some friends believe that I should do so.)”</p>
<p>You’re the parent. She’s the child. You don’t have to pay for any of her applications at all. It certainly would make no sense to pay for applications to colleges that you know neither she nor you have the funds to pay for.</p>
<p>Do not get a fee waiver for her. If she gets one on her own without your help, fine. </p>
<p>I suggest giving to your D in writing what help your willing to give her for her college education, and under what circumstances you’d provide such help. This includes fundin for applications as well as money and loans for colleges.</p>
<p>NYU and BU aren’t necessarily bad, but they certainly have a mixed reputation for financial aid. (I don’t know about GWU, but strongly suspect it is similar.) They are not admission risks, but they are absolutely financial aid risks. Chicago meets need, and is loan-free for students at this income level, PROVIDED they accept her application without the dad’s financial information, or that if they get it he does not knock her out of their low-income category. She needs to be talking to the financial aid offices at all of these schools.</p>
<p>She should understand that it is by no means “insulting” to her to suggest that she apply to a school where she has a good chance of being able to afford it. That is way better than not being able to attend any college that has accepted her. I understand that NJ publics are not necessarily attractive compared to the schools she likes – that’s a problem that she (the daughter) is going to have to deal with.</p>
<p>I have a little bit of an issue with the idea of “mommy colleges”. The daughter in this case is going to be very, very unhappy unless she owns her choices. One way or another, she has to engage herself in doing the research necessary to protect her own interests. For a smart girl, that shouldn’t be an impossible task.</p>
<p>I’m no expert on financial aid, but American doesn’t look like such a bad choice. Average need met 93%, she might get more with her grades and stats she’s a good candidate for their merit awards. I agree though the father may be a stumbling block.</p>
<p>I think sitting down with a calculator and figuring out just what a big loan will take out of your monthly salary compared to typical starting salaries for the professions she’s considering may help her make some realistic decisions.</p>
<p>I’d also see if you can sell her on the idea of honors colleges.</p>
<p>I’m too lazy this morning to read through all of above wonderful ideas…just have one thought about the “mommy school”…maybe a compromise would work: A private that has strong merit $ as well as decent FA: I’m thinking of Tulane, in particular…OP’s daughter’s stats look exactly like the kids last year who received $24,000/yr merit…brings COA down to around $28,000 and then FA can be determined…could apply EA, find out $$ situation and then compare to other packages in April</p>
<p>Another poster mentioned SUNY’s: while I agree in terms of quality of ed and cost, looks like the OP’s daughter would not go for culture or location…</p>
<p>If you search around on CC, you will find a number of posts by recent graduates about how important it is to think hard about taking on debt, and how tough it is to pay the debt off. Those might be more convincing to the OP’s daughter than the OP just lecturing her.</p>
<p>I remember reading something recently by jessiehl. She is an extremely articulate, practical MIT grad, who obviously loved MIT. But she wrote that she should have thought a lot harder about maybe going to Georgia Tech, where she would have been in-state, in order to cut down on the amount of debt she had to take on.</p>
<p>Bundle:Tell your daughter you have been seeking advice here from experienced parents and college students. One story I can tell you that might make an impact…a family friend’s daughter was extremly stubborn with her college choices much like yours. She absolutely would not listen to anyone. She had a job so probably paid for the apps herself. She applied to only a handful of very selective private LACs. I couldn’t believe she wasn’t adding at least ONE safety. Well, she was rejected at every school she applied to. She is currently in her second year at the local community college which ended up being the only option for her. She is hoping to transfer for next year. Schools are more selective than ever and you need to let her know that without at least a couple safeties, financial and academic, she could very well be home next year attending the local JC.</p>
We are making him apply to 2 of them. We are also looking at some good LACs where merit aid is more likely and he has a good shot of getting in. </p>