My Cliched Immigrant Essay PLZ make it less chiche! <3

<p>Can someone critique my personal statement on how i came to the us and learned english. when i wrote it, i was like yeah it's like the best hting i wrote. then i go on cc and there's like a bazillion cliche essay threads about immigrantion. i really want to keep the essay, so please help me with it in a way that'll make it stand out. thank you!</p>

<p>I can read it!</p>

<p>Send it over, i’ll help and can offer advice while somewhat relating. (Dont worry, ive already sent my apps, feel relieved)</p>