My college found my roommate's weed and alcohol and now I might be in trouble

Student Lounge College Life
1

For some background information, I’m a college freshman, and due to the overcrowding at my university, my roommate is a sophomore. Together we share a single room along with a suite-style bathroom with two other girls. Though we get along fine, we hardly speak at all asides from saying hello and goodbye. Since it’s her second year, she already had an established group of friends, preventing the usual freshman roommate codependency. She also works a lot, so during the day she’s gone from the apartment while I’m there, and I’m gone at night when she is there. Though I had suspicions of my roommate smoking weed, she was very discrete asides from a subtle lingering smell covered by perfume. Again, I didn’t know for sure and I’m not a snitch, especially without concrete evidence.

A few days after I left home for winter break, I received a call from my RD telling me that a drug search was approved for our room, and during the search, they found “marijuana paraphernalia” that violated the school’s policies and she wanted to know whether I would fess up before I was formally charged. Of course, as someone who doesn’t drink or smoke, I let them know that I had prescribed medication on my desk, but asides from that, nothing else. I asked where in the room it was found, and conveniently, it was on my roommate’s side of the room. Despite this, my RD said that since it was still in our shared space, I would be held responsible. Usually violations like this are dealt directly by the RD and campus security, but my RD said that she would allow me to plead my case directly with the head of Student Affairs. After informing my parents about the situation, they made me take a drug test, which, (surprise surprise) came back clean.

Upon my arrival, I received a very intimidating letter from the head of Student Affairs stating that I was possibly being charged with possession of illegal drugs AND alcohol (something my RD did NOT tell me about) and unless I set up a meeting with her within two business days of receiving the letter, they would assume I am guilty and discipline me as such. The letter went on to say that though I have the opportunity to plead my case, the decision will ultimately be made by the student affairs officers without my presence, and that if I am considered guilty, I will be suspended as well as possibly losing all my financial aid, merit aid, and tuition. I am almost on a full ride to this school… if I lose my aid I will 100% be forced to drop out as my family is not supporting me. I emailed the head of Student Affairs to make an appointment as soon as I received the letter, and her response was extremely curt and a tinge accusatory- as if she’s already made her mind up on the case. Of course, I could just be overthinking as I have extreme anxiety over this whole situation. On top of this, they put a discipline hold on my account to prevent me from registering for classes until they decide my fate, which can take weeks. By then, registration will be over and any classes I need to change will be full and/or finalized.

My appointment is tomorrow at 2 pm, and I honestly have no idea what to say. My future is literally resting on this and I haven’t even done anything. I’m considering telling them that even if I wanted to, I couldn’t drink or smoke due to my genetic disorder, which is true, but I don’t know if that will be sufficient. I have nothing on my record and am one of the few students in their honors college. Do I tell them I had my suspicions, or do I play completely dumb? Can I get in trouble for having a feeling and not reporting it? I’m so clueless. Please help. All advice is greatly appreciated!!

2

First, don’t panic. You haven’t done anything wrong, and this should all work out fine. Don’t let the scary language of the letter you received or the curt tone of the email get you flustered. Just remember you are innocent and go in with a feeling of calm confidence. If you can, it might be a good idea at the beginning of the meeting to ask the head of student affairs to explain exactly what has happened. Maybe she will do that in any event, but if not and they somehow expect you just to jump in and plead your case, that’s not really fair, as it sounds as though you don’t have all the information or know exactly what they found - marijuana paraphernalia, actual drugs and/or alcohol. In any event, in pleading your case, I think you should just tell them you don’t drink or use drugs, that whatever they found is not yours and that you had no idea it was in the room. If it seems it would be helpful to mention the disorder that prevents you from drinking or smoking, you can do that and offer to provide a note from your doctor. I don’t think you should say anything about any suspicions you’ve had regarding your roommate. If they ask you about her, just say you have never seen her drink or smoke or heard her talk about it, and you don’t know whether she does. That seems to be an accurate statement from your explanation, and there is nothing at all to be gained for either of you by your expressing what really sounds like very mild suspicion. The fact is that you don’t know that she’s used any prohibited substances and you had no idea there were any prohibited materials in your room - it’s simple. If they suggest that you must have known, you can also mention the fact that, because you are in different years and keep different schedules, you don’t socialize together and don’t spend much time in the room together.

If you can, it would be a good idea to take notes in the meeting or, at least, right afterwards. You’ll be nervous, so if you don’t write it down, it may be hard to recall afterwards exactly what is said. If you haven’t already done so, it would also be a good idea for you to review the details of your school’s disciplinary policy and make sure you understand the process. While you will want to be very calm and polite in the meeting, if their decision goes the wrong way, you must have some way to appeal or make a claim. Good luck!

3

Get that medical certificate ASAP. Can you/your family afford a lawyer, just in case?

4

I hate to say it but at my son’s university this type of thing happens. It’s crazy. Continue to be honest and perhaps sharing the drug test your parents administered and your medical condition that precludes you from using drugs or alcohol will help. Can your parents be there with you at the meeting?

If this goes to the level of losing your financial assistance I think your family needs to get a lawyer.

I feel as if this is bullying and entrapment and I just don’t understand it. I am curious what made them search the room in the first place.

5

If you cannot or will not hire a lawyer at this point, I think you still shouldn’t go into this meeting alone. If your parents cannot come, is there someone like an ombudsman, someone sort of like a union rep for students at your school?

6

Is your rooomate also being charged and what is her response? Perhaps you should also be requesting a new one.

7

This looks like you need a lawyer.

8

was there an updates?

9

I think you need to go into the meeting with your parents (def not alone). You need to emphasize you can not take drugs or alcohol because of this genetic disorder. You need to tell them you’re a freshman and gang they’re your roommates drugs. If they’re really not yours I don’t see you getting in trouble.

10

Any update?