I am college freshmen. My roommate has been inviting small groups of people over to the dorm at night to do what i would consider to be some pretty serious drugs. I wouldn’t be that concerned with just marijuana or drinking, but they do mdma, acid, and other drugs I am not confortable with. My roomate and I do not get along great, but she does not ask me or even bother to tell me when people are coming over to do drugs in the room.
I have asked her to be more considerate and not let her friends to drugs in the room but she persists. My floor does not have an RA, so her friends like doing them specifically in our room. I often sleep in the library to avoid them and the possibily of getting in trouble if they are discovered. I am mostly concerned i will get in trouble if they are found in my room with drugs.
I should ad that i would not put it past my roomate to put the drugs in my desk or intentionally shift the blame to me as she once told an RA that her desk was mine when alcohol was found inside.
Should I just inform someone next time they are doing those drugs? I don’t really want to get them in trouble, but I don’t feel like I should have to sleep in the library when her friends are over. Thank you! Any advice would be great!
so this is terrible.
But a few questions first…when you say you’re a freshman, do you mean you’re at the end of your time with this roommate (in other words, packing up now for the year) or is this the beginning of your time with this girl?
You should strongly consider moving out and getting a new roommate.
I agree that you need a new roommate. However, since I am helping my daughter move out for the summer tomorrow, I am wondering: Is your time with this roommate over? You definitely MUST NOT return to having the same roommate next year.
Do not put up with this for an entire year ever again. If this happens again, tell an RA immediately and get a different roommate.
I am also wondering why this is under “graduate school”.
Sorry for the confusion! I actually graduated from high school early in December. So I have lived with her for one semester. We both stayed on campus to take classes during the summer. I requested to switch roommates for the summer but my request was denied. I am only 17 while she is 19 so I think she feels I am inmature for not being more comfortable with her choice to consume drugs. Thus, I have tried to be understanding as I am relatively young for a freshmen in college.
I would love to move out, but it’s hard to make a good case as to why I want a new roommate without just admitting my roommate does illegal substances in the room.
@smileystubbs you can just make some excuse without ratting on your roommate like different lifestyle/sleep schedule, etc. I know people change dorms for the tiniest reasons. Also isn’t this college year ending soon anyways?
“I would love to move out, but it’s hard to make a good case as to why I want a new roommate without just admitting my roommate does illegal substances in the room.”
I think that you have to tell your RA what is going on. You are putting yourself at very great risk by staying in the same room with this person. She is also showing a wanton disregard for your safety. Don’t say anything to your roommate. Be pleasant to your roommate. Tell your RA.
“Should I just inform someone next time they are doing those drugs?”
Tell you RA RIGHT NOW! Tell your RA again the next time that they are doing drugs. Show this entire thread to your RA.
“I don’t really want to get them in trouble,”
Your roommate is risking having YOU sent to prison, or expelled from the college, or both. She has put YOU at a HUGE risk. Would you rather go to prison for your roommates drugs, or would you rather tell someone who is in a position to actually fix this problem?
If you don’t have an RA, go to the housing director in the building and tell him/her you must move now, for summer because you can not live with someone doing drugs. If no housing director in the building, go to the main housing office. No office, go to the Dean of Students. Tomorrow. Not another day.
This is not right and not fair. You came for an education and don’t need to be around this. You don’t need to sleep in the library.
@DadTwoGirls Thank you so much for your response! As I am a new college student and only 17, I felt maybe I was overreacting to what might be typical college roommate drug use. I am glad to hear that this sort of roommate behavior is not normal and that I’m not just being immature about this. You are absolutely right! I think I will just tell an RA next time it happens. Thank you so much!
@TQfromtheU Thank you so much! I agree. I didn’t expect to have a roommate that consumed drugs quite like this, but I wasn’t sure whether or not this was normal until this thread. I am glad to hear that this is not normal college behavior and I am not simply overreacting. I think I will inform someone at the school if the problem persists, Thank you!
Not normal and not putting up with it. You need to put the wheels in motion to move NOW, not next time it happens. Police do drug raids on college campuses and you could go down with them. I’m sure your college has rules and this is a serious breach.
Your roommate has already done it more than once and cares nothing about your feelings or how this impacts your life, current or future. Talk to that list of adults first thing tomorrow. You need to be moved immediately! New keys by tomorrow night. If they drag about moving you, tell them you don’t want to have to get the city police involved in order get away from drug users. Document who you talk to, date/time, response.
Don’t wait until the next time. You need to go on the record now, so that if there is a problem, they know the drugs are hers and not yours.
Sorry @smileystubbs for cross-posting, but I want to emphasize that this is a now, not next time, situation. If I were your parent, I would be on campus right now, getting management people out of bed. They could talk to me or the press. (I don’t play!) That’s how serious.
It’s not like having a stinky, snoring, messy roommate who eats all your snack, wears your clothes, and hits on your boyfriend - petty stuff.
Nononononono!!! You do NOT sleep in the library because your roommate is using drugs. Especially drugs that can land YOU in prison. Immediately go right to the Dean of students if there is no housing office and ask for emergency housing. And frankly, your roommate deserves to be ratted on. A bit of pot is not worth someone being booted out for, but the rest, no way. Someone could OD for Pete’s sake.
If you aren’t comfortable doing that, tell the roommate that the next time she brings drugs in the room, you are calling the police. Then do it.
Please do not wait. Have your stuff moved out today. If able, I would call your parents and have them come to campus today to help protect you with all involved–housing office, Deans, roommate, etc. Your roommate has already tried to implicate you and cannot be trusted, nor can the RAs who are not paying attention. I went to a very large university and lived on a floor with lots of partying and this is not like that at all.
IMO if you feel bad for telling a RA, you should give her a chance by saying : “If you don’t stop doing drugs in our room I’m going to tell the RA because I’ve tried to tell you I’m not comfortable with it and you’ve ignored me”
@philbegas It is not just doing drugs in the room, it is having drugs in the room. The time to move is now, while there are probably still spaces and before summer session starts.
If OP discusses this with the roommate maybe they can come up with an amicable way to end this situation, perhaps by using a different excuse for moving.
I am sorry you are in this situation but this is not normal and it is not something you should have to be flexible about. Please tell your RA right away. Tell them you have a serious problem with your roommate and it’s not just we don’t get along.