My D wants an expensive school, I cannot afford it!

Parents Forum
261

<p>For folks who will have time & ability to re-grow their retirement accounts, it could be an option to use it to help with college costs, but that is something that really needs to be carefully thought out. We don't do anyone any favors if we don't have enough to meet our own needs in retirement and we especially don't make things good for our kids if they will have to worry about our financial security. Maybe your older D can take out some loans to help give younger D more options?</p>

<p>In our family, our older child got significant merit aid at a good private U, which has helped defray the cost of his education & allowed more options for the younger child.</p>

262

<p>"How are others handling second-child issues of this type, now that the economy is in such a mess?"</p>

<p>Let's just say I no longer feel so badly about child 2's limited academic aspirations!</p>

263

<p>I'm about to be in the same boat Shrinkrap! Second D not as academically gifted as older sister, she's still seeking to find herself. I'm searching colleges that might fit her better! C.O.A will be an issue when making our decision. She's becoming aware that her selections are limited compared to her sister two years ago!</p>

264

<p>Our D had a tough time in HS but has done well for herself in CC & has gotten herself accepted as a transfer at the selective private U her brother attends (tho he with significant merit aid) so her options have expanded, as has COA. Oh well, we're happy for her & hope it helps her stay on track. Fortunately, we are able to help her fund this option.</p>

265

<p>I am not a parent but I've been out of school for 7 years. I have read many of the posts here from parents and non-parents; I have to say the parents have given MUCH BETTER advice here. The non-parents here have seemed to be rather presumtumous, one-sided, and even downright ill-informed (for example, one of them even thought GPA from 4-yr college was transferrable while GPA from CC wasn't).</p>

266

<p>Shrinkrap and Terpdad, Let's just say I am, for today, glad that my young h.s. son has always been a big Ohio State fan. If our local flagship ends up as his top choice when he's a senior, that will be just fine with us. </p>

<p>We don't qualify for financial aid, and I don't think we will even visit $50K+/yr COA schools that offer no merit aid. (We did with his sister - what was I thinking?) None of them are really his cup of tea anyway - he likes Big 10 schools - and we have one here. :) </p>

<p>Here's hoping he doesn't decide in the next few years that his new top choice is Georgetown.</p>

267

<p>Midwestmom--I'm with you.</p>

<p>We visited a big-name school in the East with our first child, but had to explain to her that we just couldn't afford to send her there, as we made "too much money but not enough." She was shocked and more than a little annoyed, but she got over it and applied to 3 other schools that were 1) within our reach or 2)gave merit money. We all learned.</p>

<p>With child #4, he is such a tightwad, local public Uni might be just fine. :D</p>

268

<p>Yes, be up front and let her know what your limitations are. Your daughter will almost certainly understand. Work out a plan that you can all adhere to, and that will allow your daughter to focus her search on universities and colleges that meet her needs and your financial realities.</p>

<p>The deal my parents made with me was that they'd pay the full tuition cost for wherever I wanted to go... within reason. There wasn't a hard upper limit given, but I just knew... try and keep it reasonable, and definitely no $50k per year uber-privates.</p>

<p>They also cover books and the cost of flying to/from home for holidays. But, as there's a perfectly good commuter state school within a quick BART ride from my home, I would be responsible for covering the costs of room and board if I wanted to go out of region. Any financial aid I receive (scholarships, grants, etc) is mine to use toward those costs. A very generous offer, and one I thank them for every chance I get.</p>

<p>Because I went to community college at $20 per credit for the first two years, their total cost was going to be kept down at any rate. But, as a transfer student, I focused my search on Western public universities that participate in the Western Undergraduate Exchange, and selected one that happens to be on the lower end of the cost scale. My parents are paying about $9,000 per year for tuition, fees and books.</p>

<p>They set down reasonable parameters and I figured out how to work within them.</p>

<p>I made a college choice that I'm satisfied with and that doesn't require me to bury myself in debt, and my parents are happy to cut the checks because the cost doesn't present an undue burden on the family budget. We can all feel good and un-stressed about it. Win-win.</p>

269

<p>HappytoGraduate, you might be an M.D., but when it comes to community college, you don't know jack.</p>

<p>I attended a small, urban community college with one of the best journalism programs in the country. I got a quality education in a personal setting, built my skills, got real-world work experience and developed a reputation for excellence. I took third place in a national competition for diversity coverage - beating students from Wake Forest, University of Illinois and Michigan State, let alone the entries which didn't even earn honorable mention. The newspaper, under my editorship, was named one of the 13 best in the country by the Associated Collegiate Press, as a National Pacemaker Finalist - and I finished second in the two-year-college Reporter of the Year competition.</p>

<p>When I completed my associate's degree and was ready to transfer, I had several quality four-year journalism programs looking to throw money at me, and wound up with substantial scholarship support that I could never have gotten with only my middling high school transcript.</p>

<p>Every one of my community college credits was accepted at every university I applied to (including several state flagships), and where direct articulation didn't happen, course equivalencies were happily waived.</p>

<p>I learned about working, living and learning in a diverse environment, with a student body composed of everyone from high school dropouts to smart-but-poor kids to 50-somethings rebooting their lives. I learned to be a mentor, to assist and to guide, leading an unpaid staff to do great things with words and images on newsprint. I learned that I wanted to end up teaching, so that I could do for others what my college had done for me.</p>

<p>And the kicker is, by doing my lower-division courses (all taught by actual professors with <em>at least</em> an MA and mostly with Ph.Ds) at a cost of $20 per unit, I saved my family thousands of dollars.</p>

<p>Community colleges work.</p>

270

<p>Re: retirement...if possible, don't touch your retirement accounts for college. You can always pay off loans with your retirement income, but you can NEVER replace the money you take out (in terms of earnings...I know...right now, they aren't great thus making it more tempting...but...). We have used a HELOC a little for the second child in college. We haven't touched retirement. We can pay back the loan with my retirement earnings....and it really won't take long. BUT if I took the money OUT of my retirement, I would not HAVE the same retirement income...not a good plan.</p>

271

<p>Wow, HappytoGraduate, you're digging yourself a deeper hole. Now you're arguing that students who go to community college can't get into grad school? You are clueless. 100% completely clueless. Or intentionally ignorant and bigoted, either way.</p>

<p>My father dropped out of high school when he was 17. Tune in, turn on, drop out, it's the 60s, man, that kind of thing.</p>

<p>He went to a local community college to pursue his dream of becoming a motorcycle mechanic and hitting the open road. Well, he decided to take an anthropology course just for kicks - this is back when in California, community college was free. Just sign your name to the add card.</p>

<p>He ended up transferring to CSU Northridge and earned a BA in anthropology.</p>

<p>From there, he was accepted to grad school at UCLA. From there, he transferred to Cal.</p>

<p>Yes, my father has an AA in general ed from LA Valley College. He also has a Ph.D in paleontology from the University of California, Berkeley. That's Dr. My Father to you.</p>

<p>My adviser at the community college journalism program, graduated from that very journalism program at that very community college 30+ years ago. He got his master's, returned to teach there, and has stayed there to teach ever since. That's his calling.</p>

<p>Tens of thousands, if not more, community college graduates are in graduate schools across this nation. California's grad schools, in particular, would be empty without former community college students.</p>

<p>HappytoGraduate, your elitist attitude - and your utter ignorance of academia - speaks very poorly of your education.</p>

272

<p>Grad schools (whether they be law, medicine, graduate school, etc.) will delve into why an applicant took community college courses which may or may not hurt the applicant.>></p>

<p>Not one of the five grad schools to which my DD was accepted cared about the fact that she had a year's worth of community college courses on her transcript. Her GPA and test scores were much more important to them.</p>

273

<p>FCYTravis99,
Community colleges DO work and I am glad to read of your success! Yesterday there was a story on NPR about a former "gangbanger" who went from community college to UCLA and is now at Harvard for grad school. UNC Chapel Hill takes in several hundred community college students every year and has a program to assist them with transferring to university. One of our local community colleges (Durham Tech) has sent students on to DUKE and they excel.</p>

<p>I would much rather see my child go to our local cc than one of the lower or mid-tier four year schools in our state. My classes are full of "reverse transfers" from these schools-kids that got into horrible debt chasing the four year dream, were not prepared in high school for college. We put these folks back together (they are a bit older and wiser when we get them) and they typically transfer into a better rated four year than what they started out with. I could go on and on about my former students who come back showing me engineering degrees, law school admissions, graduate degree-it is all in the attitude and maturity of the student.</p>

274

<p>Again, it depends on the community college and the 4 year school as to which is a better choice. Hornet is in saying that the fact that a school is a junior college rather than offering the full 4 year degree does not make it inferior in its offerings. You really do have to assess the the programs and courses. Also the success rate that the students have in transfering to other colleges. </p>

<p>In our area, many families do choose local 4 year schools, including private ones for their kids who are commuting because of the college life that is less transient in them. For kids just out of high school, that might be a better alternative. Though, again, there are ccs that have alot of things happening for students. </p>

<p>Unfortunately, my direct experience has been that our local ccs where we have lived are not as well run as the lower tier 4 year schools if the student is planning to continue with the liberal arts. You can't depend on getting many or even any of your classes when you enroll, and the professors tend to be transient. A close friend of mine was very disappointed with the education her two daughters got there. They had to repeat nearly everything when they did transfer to a state u. However, the education for certain programs like medical transcription, or criminal justice, CAD have excellent reputations.</p>

275

<p>Two thoughts on the original question posed:</p>

<p>1) How about applying to an honors college within a state school?
2) And, don't consider only the sticker price of the private school. Sometimes private schools can be even more affordable than public schools:</p>

<p>Private</a> Colleges Might Be Affordable After All | myUsearch blog</p>

276

<p>Letmeinnow, I believe the OP has considered private schools and has gotten some merit money but still not enough to swing without everyone taking out loans. They do not qualify for the financial aid.</p>

277

<p>
[quote]
"How are others handling second-child issues of this type, now that the economy is in such a mess?"

[/quote]

  1. We planned and did not allow the first child to use up all of our resources. First child is at a state school instead of the coveted expensive private, but at least second child can afford to go too. :)
  2. Children will almost certainly have to do grad school on their own.</p>
278

<p>Yea, we're encouraging our kids to consider working awhile before starting grad school or perhaps finding an employer or program that wants to pay for them to attend grad school. We can dream anyway, can't we?</p>

<p>We always expected we would have to provide support for both kids to go to college so didn't let the 1st one spend all we had set aside.</p>

279

<p>We had been so hopeful that we would be able to pay for all of our kids to go to whatever school they wanted as long as they could get accepted there. We felt that education was one of our most important priorities. But so many other things happened and after the first one, we were faced with facts that clearly said we could not afford to do this. It would be a bad decision given other things in our lives. </p>

<p>We had saved so that each child would get $10K a year for college. I thought that was pretty good, considering we have 5 kids. But private schools for pre college, an expensive move to an area where housing costs were high, health issues, and more, have prevented us from saving anymore. We can come up with $10K a year for college, maybe. With costs running close to $50k a year for private schools, it means borrowing on our part, our kids' part and they need to save, work and get something from the college too.</p>

280

<p>We chose to give child 2 the same option as child 1, although he will graduate with a very small amount of loans, as opposed to no-loans with child 1. He has two more years of college to be paid for, and we will be able to handle it, since the college in question gives good reasonable financial aid. I could not see saying to child 2, "we paid our fair share EFC for DD to attend great private U, but we want you to take the full-ride offer to the school you are not interested in attending" That just would not have been fair, and we wanted to give him the same close-knit university experience that Dd had. But every day without fail I raise thanks that both husband and I are employed in steady jobs, and that my children were both lucky enough to get accepted at a school with good financial aid. If one of us became unemployed, the university would offer more financial aid. We are lucky, indeed!</p>