<p>I want to go to college out of state for the college experience that my dad himself was able to have, so I don't understand why he hates me so much for wanting to dorm. I've rarely had a social life in high school because we live in a geographically isolated area. 6/10 times I have to cancel plans with my friends because my family doesn't think that spending time with people my age is valuable, and every time I go out my mom always wants to pick me up so I can never go out for too long. </p>
<p>Today, he got really mad at me and said to me "this guy (I'm a girl by the way) wants to go to boarding school because she's a family hater. I'm not gonna stop you anymore because I can't live with you anymore."
It hurts so much and I feel like I shouldn't be blaming myself when I should be applying to colleges with a confident mindset, but it just hurts so much. What should I do or say?</p>
<p>Also, he said “my biggest failure in life is raising a daughter to grow up to be a scoundrel like this” like seriously how does he expect me to feel when he says that?</p>
<p>First of all, I am so sorry that your high school/college search experience has not been very positive so far. I can only imagine how difficult it must be with your dad. Understand that you should not blame yourself; your dad’s opinion and behavior is in no way your fault. It’s perfectly normal to want to spend time with friends and get out of the house when you’re a teenager! </p>
<p>If you want to talk to your dad about it, try explaining to him your reasons for wanting to dorm. Tell him you want to have an authentic college experience where you learn to be independent and live on your own - they’re important skills for later in life, he can’t deny that! Make sure you emphasize that it has nothing to do with disliking your family or not wanting to live with them. It sounds like your dad is taking your decision personally when he shouldn’t be. Ask him why he feels the way he feels - he may just be hurt or scared of losing his daughter when she goes off to college.</p>
<p>It’s important to hear both sides of the argument, but don’t take his words too seriously. In no way are you a family hater for wanting a college experience. Apply with a confident mindset and don’t let your family negatively influence your decisions - apply where you want to apply and attend where you want to attend. I know the college process can be stressful without the full support of your family, but I’m positive you’ll make it through. Feel free to message me should you need to vent/talk, I’m in the midst of applications too. Best of luck :)</p>
<p>Hi kdenoia, thank you for your kind words. You have no idea how thankful I am to have someone understand my position.
In my dad’s point of view, college should be all about studying and getting a high GPA for med school… But I honestly don’t even know if I want to be a doctor. I want to find out what I’m good at and go with my passions. He said that if I don’t become a doctor, then I’m going to waste all the efforts he’s put into his practice and I’m being extremely ungrateful.
I don’t know how to fix my relationship with my dad because we have so many disagreements. Yet, I feel like I’m too young to go out in the world yet. I’m afraid that my thoughts aren’t mature enough because I’ve communicated so little with my dad in the past years</p>
<p>So, are you kind of saying that he’s ****ed because you want to go to college out of state so you’re not living with your family or something like that…? Because that’s a stupid reason to be mad.</p>
<p>Yeah. He thinks that I want board in college instead of going to a nearby school and going home everyday because I hate my family</p>
<p>Wow, get out of that situation. That’s not healthy at all - I’m sorry. </p>
<p>Advice:
Do whatever you can to convince him. Even if he isn’t happy with you. Once you’re out, I think distance will mend the situation a bit when he realizes how good of an experience it is and learns to stop being so selfish.</p>
<p>And don’t worry about not being ready for college. Everyone gets a little nervous about leaving home for the first time, but it will probably be good for you to be surrounded by supportive people. Small schools might be what you’re looking for.</p>
<p>I’m in about the same exact situation as you (although a year behind, it sounds like you are probably a senior?). Just try to get out of that negative atmosphere and you will be a lot better off. I can’t think of a reason (besides monetary) that should inhibit you from going out of state or having the actual dorm/college experience.</p>
<p>He makes it sound like you’d enjoy staying with your family for the rest of your life. I would get tf out of there! Like, you’re old enough to make decisions. He can’t control you all the time. I hate hearing about parents like that.</p>