Hey guys, I have basically finished my common app essay but it is 950 words… Is anyone willing to help edit and change it as well as provide feedback? I will PM it to you or share it through docs.
Thanks!
I don’t read essays for this purpose but will give you some advice. A great writer once told me that crafting these requires the following sequence:
- Brainstorm - all ideas, no editing, just write your thoughts
- Engineer - bring structure to your thoughts, make it flow
- Edit - be ruthless with your editing. Every word is precious real estate. Make them count. No wasted space. No fluff. Be concise!
- Don't be afraid to "shoot your darlings" - just because you wrote it, don't be committed to letting it make the final cut. Whole sections of your essay, after several readings, may fall in the category of "Nah".
Be very critical of everything you write. Is it essential? If not, cut it loose.
Best of luck.
3 and 4 above are spot on. Have you repeated the same ideas in different words? Have you said things like “I just really wanted to…” instead of “I wanted to…” Which parts of the essay don’t support the message you’re trying to convey? In fact, let me rephrase that in fewer words. What doesn’t support your message? If everything plays a part, then you need to condense ideas or eliminate what is least compelling. Are you over-explaining something? Remember that your reader doesn’t need to know exactly how something occurred. It’s okay to leave out stuff that over-complicates things for the reader. Use your artistic license.
It’s very easy to get rid of words once you start looking. I just worked with a student who wrote 1200 words. It was challenging to help her eliminate what wasn’t needed, but it almost became like a game. Make sure every word counts. Less is generally more. Editing isn’t just about punctuation and grammar.
Another example: “The kids shouted as loudly as they were able to, trying to attract attention to the whale which had beached itself,” versus “The kids shouted as loudly as possible, trying to attract attention to the beached whale,” versus “The kids shouted loudly, trying to attract attention to the beached whale.” Those three sentences say exactly the same thing, but sentence 1 has 21 words, sentence 2 has 15 words and sentence 3 has 12 words. No description or impact is lost in sentence 3 over the other two sentences. I eliminated nine totally superfluous words.
Start like that, then come back and see if anyone will look at your essay.
You should go over your essay with your english teacher and your college guidance counselor. However, I wouldn’t have too many people give you too many advice, or else you’ll end up with a totally different essay from your original.
@noanswers: Great answer ! You are right on target ! (Except for your username. 
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I have submitted my application already so I don’t mind helping!
Sorry about this, but if you’re aiming for schools like MIT and Penn, imo, you must tackle this using your own
resources. Not ask someone to do it for you. The ability to self edit is important. Use the advice above. Just the important elements. Cut out the fluff.
I don’t mind helping either.
You’re absolutely right, lookingforward. Thank you!
@sanjanagupta1 Not cool at all PMing this: “hey I’d be willing to take a look at your essay. I just submitted my app and know how annoying this process is lol.” One look at your recent posts has revealed to me that you are still currently writing your essay. The fact that you lied blatantly about the fact that you submitted your app makes me think you have malicious intentions of copying my entire essay. I understand you want a good essay (so do I!) but that’s not the way to do it.
Anyways, warning to people who are having others read their essays!!
@asianfu actually no. I finalized my common app essay tonight, @assemblingphilosophies actually helped me a lot (I needed advice on a specific part of my essay and got what I was looking for). After she pmed me at 12:08 am, I edited my essay based on her edits and submitted my essay literally 3 minutes ago. I was only trying to help, jeez. I can pm you my essay if that makes you feel better… honestly you need to relax a little. I would never try to copy your essay as I’mv very happy with it and don’t need to copy it from someone saying theirs is 950 words. u need to chill out. don’t ask for help if you are so quick to look for the worst. sorry I offered to help lol. bye
@asianfu and also me saying my essay was “Terriblle” was purely clickbait. obviously if I am reaching for a school like duke my essay isn’t gonna be terrible October 23rd. pls relax.
You did make a thread right after you dmed saying you wanted to get your essay checked, so it wasn’t submitted at the time. I did assume too quickly. Congrats on your submission, sorry for lashing out. I guess all the stress is boiling up these last few days… good luck on your apps man
High school CC’ers-Do Not have peers read or edit your essays. Only use established posters with a history of editing essays, see this thread:http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/college-essays/552302-consolidated-list-of-essay-readers-on-cc-p75.html
If it’s not too late I can have a look if you PM your essay to me. I’m not a professional but we’ve just went through a similar process with my son and I know it’s painful.