Hey, 16 year old kid here. I have the unfortunate luck of being the only child to two Asian parents with high expectations and postgraduate degrees (PhD and masters). My grandparents also expect me to fulfill their expectations, which are also very high. Everyone wants me to become a lawyer, which I can agree with, but my ideal game plan would be to major in psychology for undergrad, get my JD, and then become either a family or trial lawyer. To me, that sounds like a reasonable plan, but they still aren’t happy. Everyone wants me to major in business (which I could not care less about) and then become a financial lawyer. They also all HATE the idea of me majoring in psychology because they just don’t believe in it. I know that they only want the best for me, but I really don’t know what to do. I’ve tried to talk it out with them, but my family is not the open-minded “as long as you’re happy” kind of family. It’s more of a you’re-ruining-your-life-and-you’ll-realize-when-you’re-older-that-you-were-wrong-and-I-was-right kind of family. I’ve actually considered straight up lying to them about my career for as long as I can, but currently I’m leaning towards giving up on my own dreams and following theirs-- which sounds really sad when I write it out. I just want to be happy, but also make my parents happy at the same time.
If you are fine with being a lawyer I would think about majoring in business undergrad and taking as many psychology classes you can fit in. Some business schools offer organizational behavior which does have a psychology related component. Then you can go on to law school. Once you get your law degree you will be financially independent and can practice any type of law you choose.
Show your parents statistics of how many JD’s major in psychology and that it’s a legitimate path to getting into law school. Maybe they need to see the numbers and understand the value/tie in. If you google psychology and law school you will get a bunch of hits. Without even digging I found this from Stanford law school: “There are nearly as many intersections between law and psychology as there are areas of policy regulation. Conflict resolution and negotiation; judgment and decision-making capacity; prejudice and stereotyping; criminal responsibility; competency; assessment of evidence, including the reliability of eyewitnesses, and lie detection; hedonics; developmental psychology and educational policy; addiction and drug policy—these are just a few of the frontiers open to scholars and practitioners educated in both law and psychology.”
At this point, I wouldn’t even focus on the end game with the JD. If you are actually interested in being an attorney, you can cross the bridge of what you will specialize in later. You are 16. That is a world away and you will be a legal adult when the time comes to choose your actual career path and you will be financially independent. It should be a much different conversation then.
Bottom line is that you wont be successful if you aren’t happy with your classes. It would be a lose-lose for everyone to force something that you don’t like.
My H majored in psychology and then went into banking and then to law school. He says that his psych background is one of the things that he finds most invaluable in his law practice. Maybe you can major in psych and take a few business classes as electives.
If you have the grades and test scores that would land you a full-ride merit scholarship, then you wouldn’t need to listen to your parents because you wouldn’t need their cooperation to pay for college. There is a thread on automatic scholarships at the top of the financial aid forum. Take a look through that and see if you would qualify for any of those.
Yes, I know Asian families are special, and PhD parents are special, and you are stuck with both. However, there are ways to work around them if you have patience and take time to find those ways.
“Once you get your law degree you will be financially independent and can practice any type of law you choose.”
Uhm, have you seen the tuition for law school? I’m 46 still not financially independent.
I do agree with the others, though. In my law practice, I do a lot of listening and counseling my clients. People don’t usually hire lawyers unless 1) they are working on something very important; or 2) they are facing a very stressful crisis. Psychological skills are important.
But don’t go into law just to appease your parents. You will end up miserable and strapped with crushing debt.
One of the most interesting guys I know does business psychology stuff, so I wonder if there is some way you could combine your interests with what your parents want. Don’t be a lawyer unless you want to be one, but I’d try to find some way to thread the needle so you can satisfy them as long as you need their support. Good luck.
Also do keep in mind that your “unfortunate luck” is not the worst thing in the world. I understand you have to deal with demanding parents with high expectations and that is not ideal. But it seems that you have two parents who want the best for you (even if they are somewhat misguided) and who seem willing and able to pay for your college and grad school. Many people would like to be in your shoes.
My lawyer was a physics undergrad. I would say it doesn’t matter as much what the undergrad is prior to law school. Honestly I would wait until you are very deep into the college search and contemplate the individual college’s strength in both business and anything else that interests you.
Oh yeah of course I realize that I’m way better off than some other people. I meant “unfortunate luck” in a purely joking way lol. Sorry if I came across as some ungrateful brat!
I absolutely disagree with you, @YoungOne4 . I can’t imagine being anything other than a lawyer. I enjoy my work and find it intellectually stimulating and challenging and even fun on occasion. If you’re miserable, perhaps it’s because you aren’t practicing a type of law that you might enjoy. I can say that if I had to, for example, practice tax law or handle coverage disputes, I would be miserable, too, but, fortunately, there are people who enjoy that type of law so I don’t have to. The only other career I ever dreamed of was to be a singer, but, alas, I am tone deaf so that didn’t really pan out.
The OP said their game plan is to get an UG degree in psych and go to law school, so that’s not what the pressure is. The pressure is being brought to bear to force OP into a business major.
They want her to become a “financial lawyer,” and I am not even sure what that means. I guess perhaps it means that she should work in finance. Maybe they are pushing law school because the OP isn’t a strong STEM kid. She hasn’t said what the parents Ph.D’s are in.
You are only 16. Still HS years ahead. Much too soon to worry about your post college life. Take things step by step. First you need to apply to and get accepted to college(s). Once you are in college you will be an adult and able to choose your courses. A lot will change between now and then. Do not worry about life so far in your future. You will figure out how to meet your career goals in the years ahead- and may change them as you continue to learn and mature.
For now, relax and don’t stress about your parents’ plans for your future.
@techmom99 They want me to go into tax law, essentially. Though they would also settle for patent. My dad has the PhD in Engineering and mom has an MBA (dad actually wants me to go into satellite communications moreso than law, but my parents are divorced and I hardly see him in person much so he has much less of an impact on me). I’m also not terrible at STEM, but I’m definitely way better at humanities. Both parents are aware of that and that’s why STEM isn’t really being pushed haha.
Yes, this. OP, who is paying for your undergrad and law school tuition and room/board? Can your parents afford to pay the whole thing or will there be loans? Many people think a law degree is a meal ticket, but there are lots of people graduating from law school without any real job prospects. Law firms aren’t hiring the way they used to do.
But if you’re sure about being a lawyer eventually, then I don’t think it much matters what your undergrad degree is in (unless you’re looking to go into a specialized area of law like tech IP). Try this experiment: go to the websites of a few big law firms and look up the bios of their younger lawyers. I’d be willing to bet you’d find they all majored in a wide variety of subjects. What you need to know to practice law, to the extent that you don’t learn it in law school, you learn it on the job.
Best friend is has been an attorney for almost 30 years. Other friends are lawyers, big firm and some smaller private practice. BF discouraged his son from going into law school. Incomes are low, there are too many lawyers being graduated form law schools (it’s a cash cow) and resulting high competition among lawyers for clients. Real life law practice is not “LA Law” or other similar depictions on TV police shows. Not glamorous. Mundane. If you go into big city law firm you may be able to earn more money but you will work extremely long hours without guarantee of partnership.
A law degree may help earn entry into other non-lawyer type jobs but there are other degrees that would do the same and law school is expensive.
Think hard about law school. There are already too many lawyers.