My first essay...HELP!

<p>Hello all. Would anyone be willing to take a look at my essay? I'm not really sure what to make of it. It's creative, quirky, and hopefully original. Any suggestions and edits would be much appreciated. Feel free to be brutal; I encourage it. No rising high school seniors please. Thanks!</p>

<p>Having just dropped my daughter off to college, I'd be glad to read it...PM me.</p>

<p>Great! Thanks! Anyone else? Come on, you know you want to. ;-)</p>

<p>ill take a look! pm me</p>

<p>Bump...Anyone at all? I'm desperate for some feedback.</p>