My first essay-Please Take a Look at it.

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>Wow, a lot harder than I thought it would be! I have a while to go, I'll keep writing essays till I reach my test-day, but this is what I have for now. I wasn't sure if I effectively related my points back to my thesis, and my intro might have been a little sloppy but I liked my conclusion. Thoughts?</p>

<p>Is creativity needed more than ever today?
Creativity is badly needed in today’s materialistic world. Throughout history, ideas have been formulated based on ones they have already known; however, when someone thinks of something totally new, it can change the way that people perceive things. Creativity exercises parts of the brain which are normally not used such as the right part of the brain. When people keep on doing the same exact thing over and over again, they do not advance; they will always be predictable and will in fact just decline. The success and need of creativity are shown through today’s popular consumer’s products, the unpredictable tactics of war, and craftiness of today’s sports. </p>

<pre><code>Ever since video games were first invented by Nolan Buschnell, players have been always been pressing buttons on a plastic controller that fits comfortably in their hand; this has never changed, and the only thing that could advance is technology. Today’s graphics keep getting better, but the core of pressing buttons is getting old. As technology advances, consumers must pay more money to play games with just better graphics and the same way of playing it. That changed when Nintendo Corporation released their Nintendo Wii. It was very successful in that the controller was a motion sensitive controller that would mimic your actions on the screen. For example, playing tennis would require you to swing your arm in the same exact motion that you would if you were actually playing tennis. Before, you would just press a button to hit the ball. This did nothing until the Wii made people do motions that made them realize how tennis was actually played; it evoked a new sense of enjoyment that was only possible because of the creativity of the mind of Shigeru Miyamoto. Just 2 weeks after this, rival company Sony put motion capabilities in their console because of how successful it was. Today, Nintendo has overcome Sony in sales of consoles because of how popular the Wii is; it is for all ages. It engages people to rethink the way that they think of video games and to have a new perspective of what games should be. Gone are the days of sitting on a chair holding a controller; the Wii has made people stand up and move become different people.

Whenever patterns are discovered, they will always be exploited no matter what. In war, you can never use the same strategy because your enemy will exploit you. Today’s world was only possible because of how creative armies were. In one prime example, the Chinese province of Xialin was always known to attack with swordsmen at the front and have archers in the back; this tactic proved useful in defeating their enemies. However, the Xialin fell to the province of Oinshu when The Oinshu army prepared in advance to attack the archers from multiple sides with horsemen. The archers were overrun by the horsemen, literally. The Xialin were forced back, surprised that their powerful strategy could fail. They went confidently again the next day with the same strategy, only to be exploited again by the Oinshu. No matter what they did, they could never defeat the Oinshu. When the king of Xialin heard of this, he was infuriated with how predictable and stupid his army could be. He replaced the general with his son who was a master of swords, bows, and cavalry. His son decided to use trickery in order to defeat the Oinshu. He decided that he would have the same exact look in the army with archers in the back. The Oinshu, looking at this similar pattern, were very eager to exploit the mistake again. Little did they know that there were many pikemen within the archers. When they went to attack the archers, the pikemen emerged from the archers and destroyed the Oinshu. The Xialin continued their conquest of China; they used many different strategies to keep their opponents guessing and eventually exploiting their mistakes.

If we never change our ways, our society will never advance. The demand for creativity was seen with the millions of Nintendo Wii, but it keeps getting harder and harder to think of out of the ordinary ideas that no one has thought of before. If creativity never advances, then technology will reach its limit; however, when a new world of creativity is discovered, technology can delve into new areas. Without creativity, our lives would be full of boredom and repetitiveness. With all of this in mind, it can be said that a lack of creativity would be the downfall of our society, and the surplus of it would be the savior.
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2

<p>I am not good at coming up with “constructive criticism” individual, but I’d give it a 5-6.</p>

3

<p>Now that I do look at it, I did not relate it to my thesis as much. I talked more about my example and then briefly related it to my thesis. I was so used to always having analysis and development in my essays until I was introduced to the SAT essay format of just talking about the examples rather than spending an entire paragraph developing it.</p>

4

<p>10-11. It’s a lot more in-depth than most essays. Btw, your second example is kinda out of place because the prompt asks if creativity is needed in modern society.</p>

<p>This was a very difficult prompt. (imo)</p>

5

<p>Will you really have that much time to write all of that?</p>

6

<p>yeah, thats what i was thinking. how long did this take you?</p>

7

<p>Tell that to my fingers that once typed 182 words in one minute! Took me like 20 minutes. Once I got past the initial first paragraph(very hard to think of something good to hook the reader and be interesting, it was the basis for my entire essay, had to be careful and slow), I started going so fast. I knew a lot about the Wii’s success and I just made up the story about the Chinese lol. If I were to write about modern society, I might write about how terrorists in today’s world get creative by hiding with all the IEDs and cheap tactics against our soldiers. </p>

<p>I know that it’s not the greatest topic considering they’re our troops, but I would not take away respect from them ever. I could say that at first the terrorists did their usual tactics of attack head on in the name of religion, get mowed down, then start hiding, using cheap tactics like IEDs and are succesful. Sure it’s a horrible thing, but it shows how creativity can help you overcome obstacles.</p>

8

<p>yeah, but i think in general, handwriting things takes longer than typing them. i don’t even think your essay would fit on the two pages they give you, and you are not allowed more space. you might want to consider that.</p>

9

<p>That is definitely way too long. You need to learn how to write succinctly! Handwrite all the SAT essays you practice.</p>

10

<p>Amber, I know that handwriting is probably the best, but it’s just not practical for me; I write very quickly(yes it’s leglible), but if I want to post it here, I have to retype it. I won’t write as much then seeing as how this is too much, and I do think that I gave too much background info on both of them. I’ll write another essay tomorrow or the day after tomorrow(huge exam on Tuesday), but I see where you guys are trying to lead me to: short and making sure you answer the prompt. Thanks a lot for the quick responses and insights!</p>

11

<p>Well unless you guys remember reading this essay, I used this same one on the January essay, how lucky was I that out of 2 essays I had done before the SAT, this was one of them. I definitely was pressed on time. After I finished my 1st example of the Wii, I only had 10 minutes left, so I left a lot of space open and wrote my conclusion with just 6 minutes left. I finished the essay 2-3 seconds before time was called. Your scores were about right, I got an 11! Thanks!</p>

12

<p>Did you have room for all of that text, or did you have to shorten it?</p>

13

<p>yeah, i don’t think there is any way all that would fit. here is my SAT essay, which covered both pages fully:</p>

<p>There are many times when people do things that seem creative and original, that have, in fact, already been done.</p>

<pre><code>For example, when Christopher Columbus “discovered” America in 1492, his discovery was not as original as it seemed to be on the surface. Native Americans had already been living in America for many years. Although Columbus has since then been lauded as “the discoverer of America”, in reality, his accomplishment was not truly original.

In the 1950s, scientists Watson and Crick were celebrated for unlocking the secret of inheritance. They were awarded the Nobel Prize for discovering DNA. However, like that of Columbus, their discovery was not as original as it appeared to be. Another person, Rosalind Franklin, had already done a tremendous amount of research about DNA. Watson and Crick used the research that she had already done. They were not truly as pioneering as they seemed to be. Their discovery of DNA was not truly unique and original.

When Darwin wrote “On the Origin of Species”, the world as many people knew it changed. What they did not realize, however, is that someone else had already came to the conclusion that natural selection existed. A young scientist had done his own research, independently of Darwin. Darwin had finished his research, but was hesitant to publish his book because of the uproar he knew it would cause. But when he heard that another scientist had come to the same conclusion as he had and was ready to publish, he took action. He bribed the scientist not to publish, and Darwin then published “On the Origin of Species” before yet another scientist had the chance to come to the same conclusion of natural selection as he had. This example shows that Darwin’s work, while important, was not truly unique. He was not the only one to have found out about natural selection.

On the surface, many of humanity’s most important accomplishments seem creative and unique. But when these accomplishments are inspected more closely, they are often not as original as they see to be at first glance. Humans have a difficult time producing things that are truly original.
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<p>mine is 360 words…his is 770. even with small handwriting, i just don’t see it happening. my essay was a ten, by the way, if anyone was wondering.</p>

14

<p>I was barely able to fit the last word on the last line. I was really pressed though, and I even sort of laughed at it. I left some lines open and wrote 2/3 of my conclusion, wrote the 2nd example, and finished the conclusion as I finished. I’m still not going to be concerned about writing though since colleges don’t really look at it.</p>