My friend already wants to transfer to the same college as me. We're high school seniors.

Hello. So I got into my dream school this February, after many months of stress. I already submitted my enrollment fee, and I’m all ready to go. The only problem? My friend keeps going on and on about how he’s unhappy with the schools he’s gotten into and really wishes he was going to the same college as me. He’s so unhappy with his choices that he’s already talking about transferring to my school after freshman year, despite not applying to my college in the first place.

This really bothers me, because the whole point of me choosing this specific college was that I didn’t want any of my close friends to follow me there. This wouldn’t be as big of an issue for me if it didn’t have a population of 2,500, and he didn’t want to major in the same subject as me. On top of all of that, he’s not the type of person to make friends on his own. I’m trying to branch out and grow from who I was in high school. Even though he’s a good friend I think if we were at the same school it’d keep us both from growing as people. Should I tell him how I feel? Or just wait until he actually decides to transfer?

Just remember that there is no guarantee he will get in as a transfer so you have at least 1 1/2 years before he may show up at your school.

you’re right, but do you think I shouldn’t confront him then?

I’d lightly say, “Hey, if you do transfer in, I’m not planning on rooming with anyone from HS. I’m looking forward to meeting new people from other places.” Then if he transfers, he’s not expecting a roommate. And really… he isn’t going to succeed. Transfer acceptances tend to be low. Even if he does, as long as you aren’t living with him, you can deal.

this is a good idea if the situation arises, thanks :). and yes I agree the chances of him getting in are low, but I still find myself worrying about it.

I say just wait it out. He’ll most likely change his mind in one year. (I’m assuming he’s not really THAT aggressive about asserting his plan to transfer though)

alright, that’s what i’m thinking too. He’s just lost right now, and I’m sure he’ll learn to love his school. Hopefully.

I would completely not say anything at all. Your friend is venting. They are unsure of everything at this point…they are just grasping for something familiar. They probably didn’t get into their top choice because they probably had unrealistic expectations of what kind of schools they applied to. But they see you happy with your choice, and they want to be happy like you.

He may end up liking his school, or he may try to transfer but that is not your issue. The likelihood of him actually following through on this, and getting accepted is low. And if he does? You don’t have to hang out with him anyway.

What you say is “I am sure you will find a college you like in the long run.”

thanks, I think you’re right. I’ll just be vague, and it’s probably not worth the stress on our friendship