should transfer to a school that my best friend from high school goes to?

Transfer Students
1

<p>My first semester of college just ended and I am thinking about transferring after this year. I just didn't enjoy this past semester very much. I have some friends from my dorm, classes and my sorority but I am just not satisfied with the friends I have made. My college friends do not hold a candle to my high school friends. College is making me feel really depressed and when I am there I have no desire to do anything fun. The only thing I look forward to is going home on breaks. Honestly if I never went back to my college I don't think i would miss anyone. I really feel like i do not have anything to look forward to anymore. college is supposed to be one of the best times of your life and I feel like I am just missing out. I know it has only been a semester but, I don't really foresee things getting better. Maybe I am just not ready for this huge step. I feel like I should have eased into college by going to a smaller school that is closer to home. My school is about 6 hours away and there are 12 thousand undergraduates. I really wanted to attend a small local school. My parents insisted that i should only apply to schools with at least 10% Jews( since I am Jewish) thinking it would make me more comfortable. I followed their advice but I ended up with a very narrow list of choices. All the small local school that i applied to were very expensive. That is how I ended up at my current school. Now i really don't care about how many Jews attend my school and i really regret taking my parent's advice. I think I would be much more comfortable at a smaller school that is closer to home. I like the idea of having small classes, more individualized attention, being part of a closer knit community and, having home accessible.</p>

<p>The only problem is, transferring really freaks me out. The thought of starting over from scratch and going through the whole friend making process again is very daunting. Everyone says it will be easier the second time but, I don't think it will be. i will be new while everyone else already has their friends. i will miss out on the whole freshman bonding experience. I am really afraid that I will not make friends as a transfer. This thought got me thinking that maybe I should transfer to a school where one of my high school friends is attending. i wouldn't even consider this if i didn't have any friends who were going to schools that fit my personality. One of my best friends is going to a school that i think would be perfect for me though. The school has a good academic reputation, the price is about the same as my current school, the school has a good science program ( I am a biology major), the school is closer to home and is fairly small. i didn't apply there in the first place because there are hardly any Jewish people who attend this school. If i transferred to this school I wouldn't have to worry about making new friends because I already have a friend there in case I couldn't.</p>

<p>On the down side, I feel like it is wrong to want to follow my best friend to her school. Although the school is a good fit for me, i just feel really pathetic for wanting to transfer there. She made a lot of new friends at her school and is having a great time there. She is doing completely fine without me. I need her and she does not need me at all. Its not that i think she will ignore me if i went to her school. Whenever i talk about not enjoying college she tells me to transfer to her school. She is a very kind and welcoming person and I am almost positive that she would invite me into her friend group. i would love to transfer to her school. I feel like i would have a great time there. If i did transfer there, i would make sure that we stay in different dorms so I could have as much exposure to meeting new people as possible. I do not want to just attach myself to her and her friends and never make any on my own. I will try to make my own friends but knowing that I have a friend already there will make transferring to a new school a lot more comfortable. I guess i am just afraid of what people will think and what my friend will think of me. I don't want people to think i am a loser for transferring to a school that my friend goes to. If my friend went to the local state school that practically half my high school goes to it wouldn't look so bad. This school is a random small school that is two and a half hours away. I probably wouldn't have even known this school existed if my friend was not going there.</p>

<p>So what should i do? i guess if really comes down to either feeling depressed for the next 3 and a half years or feeling disappointed and pathetic for the next 3 and a half years. But should i even be disappointed with myself for transferring to my friend's school? Does it really make me look pathetic?
Or should i just stick it out at my current school? if i transfer, is it that hard to make friends if i do not know anyone already there?
Thank you. Sorry this is so long</p>

2

<p>Before I answer, is this as serious are you making it seem?</p>

3

<p>yes. What do you mean?</p>

4

<p>Nothing, nothing. Sorry about that. Anyways down to your questions.
I’m not an expert on transferring in anyway-shape-form. To me, changing schools for friends is iffy at best. BUT, if you are genuinely not happy at your institution than maybe it is something to look into. I know it’s a difficult, going to an unfamiliar territory. If you truly want to transfer than do so, but do not blindside yourself and transfer for the sake of friendship, as comforting as it seems. If the school your friend is at offers you something you like, you could excel in, and the idea of having a familiar face comforts you than go for it. Make sure it suits you though, that the environment is to your suiting, it’s financially stable, educationally you’ll be right on time with credits (etc etc). </p>

<p>If all those truly ring first and foremost, then go for it. Don’t go down on yourself about being depressed or pathetic and what not, if it’s a decision you need to make, make it and the maturity about making these kinds of decisions serve well in life. </p>

<p>As for starting over, well that is a blemish you have to work with. It is scary, it is thought consuming, but if you feel that transferring (from all the criteria mentioned above) is what you want, making friends at a university is not an issue.</p>

5

<p>First, I will say that one semester is not enough time to make a decision about a school, and I personally had much more fun my second semester during my freshman year (though ultimately I still decided to leave).</p>

<p>Secondly transferring is not the scary experience you make it out to be - but I definitely felt the same way when I was in my freshman year. If you’re serious about leaving, I suggest making a list of things you have to do. Get transcripts from HS and your current school, ask for letters of recommendation, look at schools, complete your application, etc.</p>

<p>I think you’re worrying too much about your friend. Don’t transfer because you have her as a guaranteed option if you don’t make friends. It will only make you less likely to go out and meet people on your own. If you like the school, apply. Just make sure you’re focusing on academic programs, school size, expenses, etc. and not the social life you could have.</p>

<p>You seem to have thought about this intently, but not necessarily the right aspects. Think about what you want from your college experience, and less about what you <em>think</em> your experience should be. College is not always about making your friends for life - the social life is a great perk, but if it doesn’t happen in college, it’s not the end of the world. Get what you need to from your education first.</p>

6

<p>I’m guessing if you guys are best friends, then you probably share some similar interests and goals. Therefore, it would only make sense that you would seek similar collegiate experiences, and it’s not really surprising that you would be interested in attending her school, or a school like it. no worries : )</p>