My Horrendous NYU Tisch Audition

College Majors Theater/Drama Majors
1

So, even though it’s been several months since I auditioned in January, my experience at NYU has haunted me, and I felt compelled to share. Brace yourselves.

I’ll start off by saying that NYU Tisch was my absolute dream school. I completely fell in love, and I felt so at home on campus that I knew it would be the perfect place for me. I applied Early Decision 2.

Now, this is slightly embarrassing to share, but I’ve had severe depression since middle school. Because of that, school has always been a challenge. Academically I do quite well, but I’ve never challenged myself, and have no extracurriculars to speak of. Despite constantly hating myself and wanting to cease to exist, my dream of being an actress, which I’ve had since I was maybe three years old, never died.

Fast forward to my audition: I was so excited, and I felt good about what I had prepared. I felt good about how I was dressed in comparison to most other kids at the audition (I was honestly shocked at how many people were dressed so casually – tennis shoes, jeans, etc.). Just being on campus felt good. We were then split up into groups and taken upstairs, and were then introduced to the auditors. Then, the groups went into separate rooms with their assigned auditors. The first thing mine said was that he wanted every one of us to go to NYU if we wanted. He seemed nice, and I thought I had really lucked out getting assigned to him.

Everyone then went out into the waiting room and the individual auditions began. I was third. I went in, handed him my resume/headshot, introduced myself, and did my first piece. I didn’t feel good about it. The first thing my auditor said to me when I finished was, “Wow, you were tense.” I said something about being nervous. I did my second piece, and then sat down for the interview.

The first thing he asked me about was my lack of experience listed on my resume. I said it was because I had been sick for a long time (euphemism for depression, I suppose) and was hindered from pursuing much. He continued to ask about it, saying things like, “I would’ve found a way if it was my absolute passion,” and ,“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” I didn’t expect these questions, and was definitely knocked off my guard. At this point I start tearing up, because I have so many feelings and so many regrets about things I didn’t do. For other questions, he wouldn’t let me finish my answers and kept interrupting me with comments about my answers. Then, when he asked me if I had any questions for him, I asked him what his favorite thing about NYU was, to which he replied, “Why is that relevant?” As I got up to leave and thanked him, he told me to “hang in there.” I’m assuming because I started almost crying like a 3 year old.

Honestly, it was surreal for a really long time. I had prepared for so long, and I couldn’t believed I messed it up so bad. It was actually laughable how badly I screwed up. Maybe the vibe I got from him was all made up and in reality he was really nice and I just messed up myself. I’m still sad about it, but I’m trying not to be.

I ended up getting into several really good schools, and while I’m not bouncing-off-the-walls excited to be attending the school I will be in the fall, I know it has a great program. It’s no Tisch, but it’s good.

2

I totally feel you. I’m an actor as well who has suffered from anxiety/depression pretty much my whole life, and didn’t even start doing theater until after I graduated.

However, since I’m sure you ARE very passionate about acting, you’ll flourish and become a better artist no matter what school you go to. And also remember that it was one school, one auditor, one audition that went badly, and that one experience doesn’t define you. You don’t need NYU or any other school to be the best actress you can be, you just need that fire inside of you that compels you to be an artist.

Also, if he replied “Why is that relevant?” to an honest question, I’m sure he was being a jerk. And never have regrets about a lack of experience or what you didn’t do. If you had been able to do anything about it you would have, so just focus on what you can do in the present.

Sorry if this was an overly sentimental post, but as someone who also has been depressed while also trying to be an actor, your post really struck a chord with me, and I just wanted you to know that you are definitely not alone!

3

I don’t think you screwed up at all. I think you had the unfortunate experience of being with an auditor who was more concerned about himself than you. What possessed this auditor to continue on a negative vein is anyone’s guess. Your acceptances demonstrate that other schools/auditors recognized your talent and passion. This was one guy, in a big program, not someone who can define who you are as a person or as an actor. You have so much to offer the world, please don’t let this deter you, but allow it to propel you on to what you were meant to give and share. :slight_smile:

4

I am sorry you didn’t have a positive experience. But lots of people have a rough audition, or an auditor they don’t connect with somewhere along the trail. That is one of the really hard parts of the BFA process. The stakes are big, and the window is small (and subjective). At one of her auditions last year my D did her slate for her monologue, and then the auditor said something along the lines of “I hate that show”. It really threw her- and was rude of the auditor to say- but there it was. However- just as I would say that a rough audition is not the defining feature of you as a performer- a rough auditor is not the defining feature of a school or program.

5

That’s awful, just terrible. I’m so sorry that you had to go through it. I hope you’re getting help with your depression. But I also have to say, you write about it really well, and it’s easy to see how it could become a magazine article or a ten-minute play or any number of creative things. Can you make it into something funny and scathing? It might make you feel better, give you some control over the experience.

6

Clearly this guy was on a power trip and saw a weaker person to knock down while he built his ego up. This is not a school you want to attend, you fell in love with the image, not the reality.

Unfortunately, being subservient is a common role for a professional actor, especially in their early years. Begin your college career with a more nurturing environment that allows you to build your confidence while accepting the overwhelming number of egotistical power hungry idiots you’ll meet throughout your career.

Don’t worry about not being “bouncing-off-the-walls” excited about your chosen school, within two weeks you won’t even remember why you wanted any other school.

7

My daughter could have written a very similar story about her experience at her U of Michigan audition minus the battle with depression which I’m certain made the experience all the more excruciating. Any audition that involves a school that is at the top of or near the top of the dream list is bound to produce more anxiety because internally the stakes feel so darn high. This really isn’t a story about NYU. It’s about any school where a student watches their dream slip away in the audition room. It’s heartbreaking and often hard to recover from even when you are not battling depression and I’m sure even worse when you are.

The details of what happened I’m sure were very painful for you. However those same questions likely were asked of other students with similar resumes and if the stakes were not as high because NYU wasn’t their dream, they may have been heard with a different melody. They were not unreasonable questions. They were classic and predictable questions which could be anticipated in an interview that includes examining your resume. The point of the audition is to understand your preparation and commitment is to that field of study so that they can find a way to place you if they think you will find success in their program. The “why is this relevant” answer I can’t explain though it is a fair answer. What the auditor likes best about NYU isn’t relevant. He isn’t a student there. What you liked best about NYU was what counted. I agree that it was not an elegant response though to an already clearly upset prospect. It would throw anyone. People suck sometimes. One individual does not a school make however.

I’m not sure it is fair to say that @jacksparrow10121 fell in love with the image vs. the reality when you don’t really know what the reality is. That feels like a leap. As someone who does have a student at NYU let me say something that almost says the same thing but without the judgment. New York City is a very tough place to go to college and NYU, which is big and part of that crazy world doesn’t always have the bandwidth to deal on a personal level to the extent that you might have needed. The auditors know that about their program. So even though it may not feel that way, you may indeed be headed to a program that will make you much happier than NYU ever could have. Odds are as stated above, you will not remember why you wanted any other school once you find your groove and your people at your chosen school. That happens far more often than not. All the best!

8

Well said @halflokum.

9

I agree that it could have happened anywhere. NYU was in my son’s top 3 going into auditions. It was OFF his list immediately following auditions. He doesn’t have depression, he had tons of experience. He couldn’t really articulate WHY he felt the way he did, he just said, “Doesn’t matter if I get in or not, I’m not going. Just REALLY didn’t like the vibe!” He did get in. He did choose another University. Sometimes the Universe shows us where NOT to be. Not a judgment of NYU. I hope you fall head over heels in love with your school @jacksparrow10121

10

All of the arts seem to have more than their fair share of fragile people…and of assholes like that who exploit their fragility. I don’t think we should be making excuses for the auditor, who sounds like he probably has his own mental health issues.

11

That seems like a strong response when we are only hearing one side of a story. Not suggesting in any way that the OP is being inaccurate - but it was clearly an emotionally charged moment.

12

On the flip side, the auditor who gushed all over us and “practically guaranteed” (those were his words) we’d be offered a spot with a big scholarship…well…my son was waitlisted there. No less “bad”. Just different “bad”. I think this might be what Jkellynh17 means. Auditors should be professional. IMO.

13

Exactly. @MsMommy. Let her in. Don’t let her in. No need to play head games.

14

There is a great scene in the movie “Billy Elliot” where Billy is interviewed following his audition. You can watch the pain and discomfort growing on his face and on his father’s face as the auditors struggle to get a sense of who he is off of a resume that has very little on it. The questions feel out of place and mean given Billy’s situation.

I would venture that a good auditor works with what they have in front of them in the hopes of eventually getting to a “can I ask you Billy, what does it feel like when you are dancing” moment which gives them something to go on when it isn’t obvious in a resume. KatMT and others who contribute here and part of that process from the school side often talk about how they really want you to succeed. But I’d bet if Billy and his father were real, and you asked them what happened in that interview undoubtedly at least the father would have had some wonderfully northern England words to describe it up until the moment the letter came in the mail.

15

I’ll bet many or most of the kids who participated in a fair number of auditions experienced at least one auditor with whom they did not click. My S had a HORRIBLE U of M experience while a good friend from Stagedoor had a wonderful experience. Same day. Same auditor. Could have been an off-moment for either if them. It’s one of those “let it go” moments. It is hard when it happens at the “dream school” audition!

16

^^^That’s why it is important to see an audition experience for what it is and not consider it necessarily an indictment of the school in general. Already shared that my daughter’s experience at U of M wasn’t so great either but we’d be hard pressed to conclude that means the school isn’t wonderful because we still think it is. I think the OP gets that and was asking for reassurance and support.

17

^Definitely can happen at different schools. Son never shared much in the way of negative reports after auditions, but did have one audition after which he said the auditors seemed “soulless”. I have heard wonderful reports about the same school. Son ended up on the waitlist, but knew it was not the right place for him.

18

I’ve loved reading everyone’s responses. I haven’t really shared this experience with anyone in my life other than the vague “Yeah, it could’ve gone better.” It’s embarrassing to have messed up so badly, what can I say?

To clarify a few things: I know NYU is a great school with a great program, and I’m not basing my perception of the school off of my brief interaction with my auditor. I have a friend who is a junior at Tisch, so I know firsthand (secondhand?) how great the program is. She loves it.

Secondly, I asked what his favorite thing about NYU was because he had mentioned that he graduated from Tisch and is a professor there now (my friend has only heard of him as she’s in a different studio than the one he’s affiliated with). But even so, maybe it still wasn’t an appropriate question to ask.

And I had prepared for the interview questions pretty thoroughly. I just wish that I wouldn’t have been thrown by being interrupted/being berated about my nonexistent resume. I wish I would’ve stood my ground. There really isn’t an excuse for it. Obviously a career in acting will bring many rejections/disappointments, and I know I need to be prepared for that.

19

What a disappointing event! I’m sorry that this happened. Maybe, though, it was a good thing, as you may have ended up choosing the program even though it may not have actually been the right fit for you since you’ve looked up to it so much. My D also has thought highly of NYU for a long while; she was about 10 when she started talking about it as her dream school. Even though it was a huge financial reach, we didn’t want loans, and she wasn’t sure that she wanted such a rigorous academic program, after all, she kept it on her list. Her audition experience was fabulous. She loved everything about it, including an especially stimulating conversation with an auditor, and walked away glowing and ecstatic about the program. Had she gotten in outright, it would’ve been almost impossible to turn down even though it may not have actually been a perfect fit, even if just financially. She was in love. Sometimes, it’s hard to think clearly when one is in love! (She is waitlisted, btw, and is happy about the nod, but is thrilled about the program which she is attending in the fall, which seems to be a great fit. Fingers crossed!)

It sounds to me like you handled yourself well in the audition. I don’t think, especially given the details above, that your question about NYU was bad at all. If I were the auditor, I would’ve interpreted it as, “What do you like best about the school and the program,” not just the school, anyway. Maybe this guy was cranky, or maybe he was being an idiot. In any case, try not to over-analyze this anymore or beat yourself up over it. Hopefully, writing it out here has been therapeutic for you; I’m one who analyzes and over-analyzes everything, and writing helps me work through upsetting issues and events and put them to rest a bit. (You have a strong talent for writing, btw! You write with great style, and it is authentic and transparent, with some humor mixed into deep thinking. Take it from a former English teacher… :wink: )

I have a feeling that you are going to be so positively immersed in whichever program you chose that this will be just a tiny blip to you sooner than you think. That program is lucky to have such a deep thinking, sensitive, passionate person. Good luck in all you do!

20

Sorry you had a bad experience at your NYU audition jacksparrow, but definitely don’t take it personally. It’s interesting - both my kids (2 years apart) said NYU was a weird audition for them. They found the interview questions a little probing and personal, maybe designed to put then off balance? I agree I would not take that as a reflection on the school or program. NYU is an amazing school. Just maybe one auditor’s approach. (They do 1 auditor auditions.) And maybe just fine for some students but a little off putting for others. And…People are just people. Auditors can have bad auditions/interview just like students can. I also agree with the belief that your personal struggles with depression can make you both stronger as a person and a better artist. Best of luck to you!