Just a some quick info about me:
-I’m a junior in HS
-I’m an African-American female
- A navy brat and I share this account with my mum
So first let me begin by saying that I hope that this post will be of help to anyone who bothers to read it. Even though my journey is not over I feel that I could offer some valuable advice from my experiences as a former “Ivy crazy kid”. I hope that this post will be able to help someone out there who is still what I once was.
For pretty much the first moment that I could form full sentences I’ve been thinking about college. Even when I was five years old I dreamed of the day when I would be able to go off into the great place my parents called college. My obsession wasn’t some much from my parents (they had both gone to college) but from what I surrounded myself with. I was, and still am, a great lover of reading and books and the many of the stories that I read referenced colleges in some way. There were tales of characters who were just like me, smart and bookish, who had worked hard to get into Yale and Harvard: with full scholarships no less! I guess this is when my “Ivy crazy” syndrome began; my head started filling with glittering dreams of going to an Ivy League school just like the characters in my books.
When I got older those dreams still remained but for some different reasons. I had just moved again and it was hard for me to get a good job and earn a lot of money to take care of my mum and family so that if anyone got sick we’d never have to worry about money again. I say myself as a very smart kid and I thought that any one of these storied institutions would easily send me an acceptance letter. Of course I was ignorant on how slim the chances of getting into anyone of these universities was.
My deluded dreams persisted throughout my first two years at high school. I had moved again, and my social situation became a lot better, though I still had to precariously balance schoolwork, soccer, and the care of my mother and brothers. My obsession with the Ivy League was still there now more than ever because I was in high school. My coursework was very difficult and I told myself every day that I NEEDED to get into Yale or Brown or Columbia or some other extremely selective school because if I didn’t I would be a miserable failure. I thought that a rejection from an Ivy would mean that I would be a miserable failure not only to myself and my family but my race as well. I had always noticed in school and in my own family that many African-Americans were not going on to get higher education. My father had from day one instilled in me that as an African-American and especially as a female I needed to work twice as hard as everyone else. I’m a person that’s harder on themselves than anyone else and I most likely stressed myself out more than needed.
Then the second semester of my tenth grade year things got a little worse. My mother was in and out the doctors, my brother was diagnosed with autism, and my own health issues combined with school and a sport I should not have been doing caused the balance I had tried to maintain spilled over. My grades slipped (mostly Bs and A and one C) and I after I moved again that summer I left my former school with a high GPA relative to the school, but still something I considered a failure.
I started my new school fairly well, as things got better at home, my grades were excellent but I was still “Ivy crazy”. If one was to take a look at my college list then they would be shocked that most of the list was composed of almost the whole Ivy League and other highly selective schools with maybe one match/safety. Many nights I worry myself crazy about my SATs or my grades or something relating to college. I was so worried I wasn’t good enough for any university that my parents finally made me go see a therapist. Even still I was obsessed with the Ivy League.
It was only until after Christmas that I began to see the error of my ways. After I received my PSAT results I had gotten e-mails and mail for colleges that weren’t Ivies or highly selective schools. I have visited some of them like Wake Forest, William and Mary and Delaware University and found that I really liked them. I was even more surprised to see that there were people who had gone to these schools who received a great education and did will for themselves after they had graduated. A conversation with a friend of mine at UVA from China made me realize that even though she wasn’t at an Ivy she was still so incredibly happy. I began to reconsider my college list really began to think about my obsession with the Ivy League. I found in time that I ended up liking only 1 or 2 of them and with this in mine I re-did my college list. When I compared the two the difference between the two was incredible. Many of the Ivies and some very selective schools had been replaced by schools that weren’t so selective but they were schools that I liked and would be a good fit for me.
The end of my Ivy obsession didn’t really hit home until I had a long heart to heart with my mum after she picked me up from school. She told me the story of my cousin Shawn, now a highly respected internal surgeon in North Carolina, that my Ivy obsession ended for once and for all. I always respected Sean and I had thought that he had gone to some top 20 school. I was shocked to learn that Shawn had once been a drug dealer who many thought was going nowhere. Then he turned his life around went to a SUNY school and from there went on to medical school and became a highly successful doctor with more than enough money. When I learned this I realized how wrong I had been to be so “Ivy Crazy”.
I guess what I’m trying to say is this: It doesn’t matter if you don’t get accepted to an Ivy League or a Top 20 school. Wherever you go it has to be the best fit for you. Going to an Ivy doesn’t ensure that you’ll get the best education or even the best job. Your experience at whatever college or university you end up at is what you make of it. Don’t you dare ever devalue yourself, like I did, or think that you’re not good enough because you don’t go to an Ivy. You’re no less brilliant or wonderful than anyone who does go to Harvard or Cornell etc. I’m not saying don’t apply to an Ivy or two, I am, but be sure to include other schools as well. They may not be Ivies but they may be places where you’ll be happy. And if you get rejected? Good riddance the chances were slim anyway! Do well at whatever school you end up at, be the best you can be and enjoy yourself, and one day you may be a person that some Ivy wished that they had the privilege to claim as an alumni/alumnus. Remember that you are not defined by the school you go to. An Ivy League degree doesn’t guarantee happiness or success or wealth. Most importantly, don’t base your whole high school career on a college acceptance, enjoy it while you can because it doesn’t last forever 
I hope that this long post (if anyone is still reading) helps other “Ivy Crazy” kids out there. I hope this what I had to say makes you reflect on your “Ivy obsession” and help you realize it before it’s too late.
