My kid doesn't care about going to a selective college. Help!

College Search & Selection
1

My son is a HS senior with good stats (3.76 UW, ACT 34), but weak ECs (been in a few things, nothing special). After he took the ACT, he started to receive mail from highly-selective colleges, and I noticed, much to my chagrin, that he wasn’t reading any of it, not even the letters from Yale and Stanford. When I asked him what colleges he is interested in, he named the five closest places, more or less (Miami of Ohio, Univ. of Cincinnati, Xavier U., U. of Dayton, and Ohio State).

One issue is that he literally has no idea of what he wants to study. On any given day, his answers run the gamut from Finance, to pre-Pharmacy, to Chemical Engineering, to History.

While his lack of ECs probably limits his prospects at “most selective” level institutions, I believe that he is a viable candidate at many other highly-prestigious colleges and universities, and that in today’s competitive world, it is in his interest to attend one in the top tier to which he can gain admission.

Should I worry about this, or just let it go? If I am going to try to convince him to enter the selective college derby, how should I go about it? I hate to see him lose a chance to better himself when he may not be fully-aware of the future ramifications.

2

Let. It. Go.

3

Let it go.

However, if he is a senior, shouldn’t he be applying to the colleges that he is interested in now? (And, as the parent, you should be checking on the colleges’ affordability if you have not already done so.)

4

I graduated from Penn. My business partner went to BU. We make the same amount of money.

Even though I did go to an Ivy League school, I didn’t push either one of my kids in that direction — not even the one who was a National Merit Finalist. Because I believe it’s about what the student does with the opportunities presented to him/her at college, not any “prestige” (gosh, I hate that word) that may or may not be conferred by a degree from a handful of schools.

5

your son should be commended for zeroing in on quality, in-state options rather than fixating on a shot-in-the-dark “dream school”

if it’s financially feasible, it would not hurt to take a shot at a couple reach schools. but statistically, he is much more likely to wind up at one of the schools on his list, so it makes sense for him to focus on them.

6

While his stats are good any top 25 college would be a high reach. Your son seems to have his head together even without a firm choice of major.

7

Those 5 schools are good schools. I agree with your son, that I’d prefer going to Miami of Ohio or Ohio State over Yale or Stanford (and he’s no shoo in at those).

8

Let. It. Go.

Your child needs to be happy at the school – you do NOT need to be happy with his school. Both being happy is ideal, but given the choice between you being happy and him being happy, he’s the person spending 4 years at a place.

There are 3000 schools in this country. Almost any of them will provide a decent or better education. 70% of them do not fill–so no need to panic about getting in. Several of the ones that do not fill are amazing in what they provide. St. Johns of Annapolis/ Santa Fe, for example. Two campuses. Great Books. Successful graduates.

Statistics show that it’s not the school that makes the person, but the person who makes the person. A top achiever will be a top achiever regardless of their college. And there’s one school of thought that it’s better to be the top achiever in a supposedly lesser school than a low achiever in a more competitive rank-conscious school. (Malcolm Gladwell posits this, FWIW)

Your high-achieving child will continue to achieve highly if and only if he’s happy. So why not make him happy?

The future ramifications exist only in your mind. You can tell him that he’ll never achieve anything without XYZ credential, but that would be false. Or rather, that would be a self-fulfilling prophecy programmed into him by his own parent.

To better educate yourself, take a look perhaps at the payscale rankings of colleges. You will find, for example, that several colleges you probably haven’t heard of produce top earning graduates-- SD Mines; SUNY Maritime are prime examples.

Or google “the colleges where phd students get their start” and you will see that several of the lower ranked schools are generators of phd students–such as Kalamazoo, Knox, Mt. Aloysius, NM Tech.

Then there are the schools that have specialties that the Ivies and other high-ranking schools don’t offer such good programs in (or don’t offer programs at all): SUNY nanotech, for example. Alfred glass engineering. Marine Biology and Marine Sciences --better to go to Santa Cruz or Santa Barbara or Rhode Island or New Hampshire for those specialties than Harvard.

Then there are the schools whose specialty is to guide students into thinking differently and breaking molds --with the idea that’s how progress is made: Hampshire, Sarah Lawrence, Evergreen.

There are so many exciting choices out there! Let him find his way towards one of them. When child is happy, mom and dad are happy.

9

A few comments:
–If he his a senior the college application list should be pretty well set by now.
–Your son might be telling you he isn’t comfortable being too far away from home so if that is the case, listen to him.
–If any of those schools have honors programs you might encourage him to look into those.
–If you want to encourage him to put in one reach application perhaps focus on a college in your geographic area (ex. Notre Dame, UMichigan) but I wouldn’t push it too hard.

10

Love the kid on the couch. Be happy that you will be able to see him regularly if he wants to go to school close to home.

11

Yes, he’s applied to those which I named, but he’s running out of time to apply to additional options.

We can afford an in-state college, especially with some merit money. Our FAFSA EFC is around $20k, so the feasibility of a private school will depend on the aid offer.

I admitted as much; for purposes of my question, I’m thinking more of top 26-50, places where his stats would put him in the top quartile of applicants.

I read Gladwell’s remarks, and I agree, at least for pre-med and STEM fields. Not sure if that logic holds true for business, though.

12

Let it go. All the listed schools are good options. No need to send out flyers if your son really isn’t interested.

13

Let it go! My son was not interested in any of the top colleges. He is doing great at a state flagship, it is a perfect fit, and the program is wonderful. A selective college is not the right fit for everyone at all!

14

1 of the top guys at my Fortune 100 company went to Assumption College in MA and another to Trinity College (I think in CT?). One of their direct reports graduated with honors from Yale. Even in business, there’s way more to success than where you got your degree. Your son will be fine wherever he goes. Good luck!

15

You clearly want to guide your child. You’re a good parent. Really, But really, the best thing you can do is to start doing more research for yourself.

If you child is going into business – think about it. Like, sit back and really think from outside of whatever framework or mindset you’re currently in. . . .

Business. Does. Not. Require. Any. Degree.

Right?

I mean, it can HELP, if you want to become, say, a middle-executive in a Big Bank or Investment Firm. They look at degrees, but if your child’s goal is to run a business, start a business . . … ? Entrepreneurship does not require any education whatsoever. So what is it that you are seeking really?

Beyond that, most top-ranking schools DON’T HAVE BUSINESS programs. There’s Wharton, sure, but most top-ranked schools don’t have business programs. That specialty is off in their grad school, usually. Yale? Business is in the grad school. Harvard? Ditto. Cornell has loads of business stuff but it’s got lots of interesting configurations in many specialties. It’s just a different sort of school. Williams? No business there. Carlton? Same. No business. Vassar, Amherst, Hamilton, Haveford, Swarthmore – no business.

What I’m getting at is this: Where is the anxiety you’re feeling really come from?

if you can figure that out, then it may help you relax and let him go to some school that’s suitable for him.

Does HE want to go into business? Or is your anxiety pushing him into business? I can tell you from experience that pushing your child into business when he hates business, will backfire. He won’t have the passion necessary to do well in that field.

16

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for purposes of my question, I'm thinking more of top 26-50 <<

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OSU is top 50 or if not, it’s close enough.

17

Let it go and be happy.

It’s not necessarily where you go, but rather… what you do when you are there.

Ask him to apply to a school as a “ parent pick” if you want…

18

How about Pitt? Not so far away.

19

Correct, yet they have plenty of grads in the corporate world. It’s possible that their liberal arts grads have opportunities not as readily available to grads of lesser institutions.

He doesn’t know; he’s only 17. I just want him to have the best options available for his own unique blend of abilities. If getting a degree from, say, Hamilton, does that better than one from, say, Ohio State, maybe I need to push him a little. Then again, maybe not. There are plenty of people who graduate from their local state U who are doing just fine. I understand that.

20

I don’t think Case or Kenyon require supplemental essays. Why don’t you have him throw in applications to those schools (and maybe a few more like that nearby with no supplements). If he gets in, have him go visit on admitted student days and just see if he likes them. But tOSU and Miami of Ohio are good schools. Kids are happy there and get good jobs.