It sounds like college fit is not the bigger issue here. I agree with others…this is not a race. It’s a journey. He needs to start out slowly and build up.
Frankly, why would Elon or any other of his college choices feel he is a good candidate for admission BEFORE he has demonstrated he can succeed. His current college grades don’t support that…yet.
But hopefully, starting out slowly will get him some confidence and he can build on his successes.
Re: reading and writing being difficult…these skills are needed in most academic areas, and just about every professional career. I would reach out to the disability office at the community college and see what kinds of remedial support they provide.
Another thing…he needs to explore not only his interests, but also things where he has some strength. Perhaps a visit to a career counselor would be helpful…they could help him define his interests and strengths, as well as things he is not as strong in and doesn’t do as well in. They could then do some job exploration types of things to give him some direction.
Doing something you enjoy and you do well is a recipe for success…and there could be options he has never even thought of.
Was he registered with the Disabilities/Accessible Education Office at the college he attended? They would have provided letters for your son to give to professors, at which point he would advocate for accommodations or provide a list (depending on the school). Did he do this?
You can help him navigate this and he will need that help. No one tells us parenting gets even harder at this point.
Based on your responses above some things to consider:
A summer class may be good, but do not do an accelerated or Maymester class. Doing 16 weeks in 3 is not what he needs. Build that confidence up by finding an 8 week course that he can manage.
If he takes a math course, make sure he is participating in any math labs or recitations.
When was the last time he was evaluated for a learning disability? Many times at this age the last eval was back in MS or even earlier. Does he know his strengths and areas where he needs supports? It is worth the money to find someone who can help him process what happened at college and identify where he needs the help. This is more than reading comprehension and he may need executive functioning coaching and some strategies on how to break up bigger assignments into small chunks to accomplish. It may be just basic time management and first time away from home things, or it could be more. A professional evaluation can empower him if he is willing to fully engage in the process and develop a plan.
This spring and summer, he may just need a job and have that daily responsibility. Do not force a class right now and spend money if he is not ready.
For the fall, research options with community colleges or maybe a 4 year college near by where he can just take a class or two while working? Sometimes that can be better than a CC. Ask about supports specific to his needs.
Make sure he knows you are all there to help him. This can be overwhelming for them. Depression is a reality and this group had such a weird high school experience due to Covid. There are gaps academically and developmentally. He will get there with your help.
All the best and take care of yourself, too. This can be such a hard journey as a parent. We never want to see them fail or struggle.
It is crucial for you and him to discuss the goals here, the job that the college degree will qualify him for. A sheepskin is not gonna feed him or raise a family, or even allow him to move out on his own. Even if he manages to limp through a business degree in finance, which i am not sure is possible, what job will he be able to get and hold? I cannot think of a job other than the trades that doesnt involve reading and writing and comprehending reports. Maybe you should have him shadow various tradespeople now to see whether anything appeals to him. Sometimes a college degree is not the appropriate goal.
A college degree is attainable, if that is what he wants. If he wants to do wooden boat building or piano tuning, or x-ray tech or plumbing or cabinet making that is cool too (check out North Bennett Street School).
But in this day and age, a lot of young people want college and he apparently enjoyed residential college. He needs proper evaluation and support. There are many ways to do college and the time frame is not rigid. Kids with LD’s can succeed in school and in life.
My main concern would be depression with a return home while friends are away. Perhaps the summer will help with that, but friends will then leave in the fall. He needs to know, from you, that this can be an opportunity, not a tragedy.
To me the key is to get to the bottom of any LDs and/or ADD or other issues. It sounds as if there may be more learning issues going on. A kid that has been good in math failing a pre-calc class because of memorizing formulas may signal a processing type of issue.
If he did well in HS, confidence may not be the issue. I would start with having a very non-judgmental, honest conversation about what happened in college. The goal is not to shame or punish him, but to help him figure out the path back. Did he simply party too much and not go to class? Did he not do the homework and then just got hopelessly behind? If he didn’t do it, did he try and was just not able? Did he not understand the material and what did he do about that? Or did he keep up and do the work but still fail?
Even one class can be an issue if he is not ready/open to change or have the study skills to do well. I would consult with an educational psychologist/learning disabilities specialist for a thorough evaluation and go on from there. You have to understand the problem, whatever it is, before he can be successful.
Having a job may really help him. There are plenty of jobs which do not require a college degree and he might enjoy the hands on nature of the work. A gym or retail establishment is a good start. I suggest you focus not just on his education but what type of employment might be available to him even with a degree.
The hospitality industry might be worth considering.
Re: reading comprehension, it’s something my older son struggled with in high school. Since the school didn’t provide a lot of support, I tutored him with books designed for developmental reading in college. Perhaps you can have him work with a tutor one on one, using such a textbook. I used “Connect Reading” by Ivan Dole. He can take a noncredit reading/writing course at a CC, but the quality of teaching can vary. He can also do both - take developmental reading and have a tutor to reinforce.
Re: math. I am less likely to recommend a developmental math course at a CC. There are plenty of software he can practice at home, like ALEKS, and work with a tutor to keep him on track.
He will need to clear a placement test to take the for-credit math classes at a CC. Basic reading comprehension is important for any math course. An intro stats course or a math for liberal arts course will have lots of reading, even though the math is pretty basic.
For my son who was diagnosed only in senior year of high school, medication has increased his focus, and so his reading comprehension increased as well. He graduated from college, and works full time now in coding, Writing is more a struggle for him than reading. He uses various resources and templates to get help for work related writing.
I’m honestly not sure if he earned any credits his 1st semester. He failed pre-cal, got to D’s and got a C- in a class that was required fro Freshman so it may not be a transferable credit.
Thank you for your reply. I’m not sure he’s the right fit for Landmark. He went to school across the country and was thriving socially. He said he was going to class, but I think he thought that was enough. When he didn’t understand something, he didn’t go the extra step and try to get help. I probed to get to the bottom of why and he finally admitted he was lazy. Despite everything being at stake, like you won’t be able to stay at this school that you love, that was his answer. I almost feel like it’s an excuse. I think learned helplessness comes into play with LD kids because a lot of times their effort doesn’t pay off in the end so they stop trying.
He went in not letting them know about the disabilities. For the 2nd semester, he put that all in place but it was too little, too late. He wants to be “normal.” He says in the real world, you don’t get accommodations. It was a mistake.
We are looking at a summer course at a CC to get him back on track.
His last LD eval was about three years ago. We are reaching out to a new doc to see if there is some way to do a deeper dive and have someone break things down for him so he understands how his brain works and how he will learn best. He has had all of this in the past. He’s been evaluated 3 times over the years. He’s been given so much support. I’m kind of surprised this is where we are at at this point considering everything we have done for him.
His resume is updated and he’s looking for a part time job.
We are doing everything we can to assist and making sure he is feeling good despite what has happened. It is such a fine line between empowering our kids and enabling them. I appreciate all your suggestions
Yes, you may be right. My husband and I both have advanced degrees so it was kind of a given. We definitely need to stop and help him reevaluate his goals.
He had accommodations in the past and wanted to be “normal”, not realizing probably half the kids in his classes had some kind of accomodation in place.
Also, the shock of college (hard for most freshmen) added to the shock of “all the accomodations needed” to “zero” was probably too big a gap to jump for anyone.
However at the end of Semester 1, when you regrouped, what did you decide?
Do you know what his college requires for him to be allowed back?
(And it’s quite possible he won’t be allowed back for at least a year. Even transferring will require his earning a significant number of credits with mostly A’s and B’s, though there’s no time limit for that so he can take classes part time while he works and while he brings his GPA back up.)
There’s going to be a LOT of jobs involving the green economy in the coming months and years. See if that’s something he could find interesting, if there’ll be job openings in businesses or plants near your town, etc.
As far as jobs, he can try several types, see what he enjoys, then look at career paths within that field.
The experiences and memories of working the shop/the floor/behind a counter will be very useful if he chooses to move to a management or engineering position after college.
I wasn’t suggesting he attend Landmark for college. But they have a program to address this kind of thing, in the summer, I think and also can refer you to coaches.
I don’t believe in laziness (See the book "The Myth of Laziness!)
agree!
(See the book "The Myth of Laziness!)