Kids do not understand the concept of a level playing field and how they have a right to function at their best level (meaning with accommodations).
If he did not have accommodations, that also means he did not have other types of support.
The one thing I think you can actually require if he goes to school is that he register and take advantage of supports.
That made me think of one potential for a great social/team experience, honing skills, including leadership skills:
Mother of a dyslexic, dyscalculic daughter here - the quote above makes me wonder if he problem is not so much his LD’s but maybe a lack of structure and executive functioning? Also, if he was accepted to Elon, it sounds like he was working at a very good level in high school - is he able to talk to you about why it fell apart in college? Was the work that much more challenging than his HS or did he have issues with scheduling the workload - if reading was an issue, was he procrastinating and then finding himself without enough time to read and reflect? I do think going to community college for a semester or more and having less distractions will give him a chance to show you what he can do, give him a chance to mature a little bit, and maybe give him time to understand how he learns best/what he needs to succeed.
One school that we looked at that is “hands on” with experiential learning/internships that we really liked was Johnson and Wales University in Providence. Everyone knows them for hospitality, but they have all sorts of programs. I was really impressed with the school! And they were the most open and encouraging about working with existing IEP’s and LD’s. D23 liked that they mentioned it in their tour speech.
I’m sorry you are dealing with this right now, but it will all work out in the end. There’s no one path…
This is where, honestly, your DS is just flat out wrong. In the real world, adults get accommodations in the US ALL. THE. TIME for disabilities.
What is foolish is KNOWING that you have a disability and not speaking up for yourself and seeking out the disabled students resources available at a college.
Absolutely agree!
A number of freshman, without a history of LD, enter college and are shocked by the material, speed, and newness of being away from home which adversely impacts their performances.
Your child is not the first who has had difficulty. Your son has the added “bonus” of a history of LD help and he just wanted to “fit in”. That would be the normal reaction from most of our kids.
Our three “4.0” children all attended tutoring sessions at their uni’s to maintain their grades. We, now, recommend this to all of our family and friends who have children going away to school.
Please advise your son that In high school, 'tutoring help" is often deemed as “remedial” help. In college, it’s deemed as necessary to supplement the professor’s lecture. “Office hours” at the colleges are often packed by students. Also, the writing centers are busy.
I am linking the Writing Center description from SDSU, which has an awesome center. Any school or CC will have something similar: https://writingcenter.sdsu.edu/faqs.html
He is not alone and if he’s motivated to return to the college, then he will want to kick himself into gear and “work” to get back. He can do it, but it’s going to take a LOT of effort on his part to incorporate a new approach to gaining the basics in reading comprehension and written language. There is only so much that you can do, as parents. He needs to register with the Student Ability Center so that his professors are aware, and so that he gets support from peers who are paid by the SAC to discreetly help the student.
If his thing is fitness, maybe becoming a personal trainer? PT asst? Maybe even a PT eventually?
Wow. This is outrageous.
I have never heard of “the Myth of Laziness” but wow, the description certainly hits the nail on the head: “When we call someone lazy, we condemn a human being,” writes Mel Levine, M.D. In The Myth of Laziness, the bestselling author of A Mind at a Time shows that children dismissed as unproductive or “lazy” usually suffer from what he calls “output failure”—a neurodevelopmental dysfunction that can continue to cause difficulties into adulthood if left unchecked." Yes, this is what has happened! How/where can this be addressed? I supposed I need the right counselor. He needs to understand this is a result of the struggle, and the struggle is real! TY Compmom 
Our kids are valiant, not lazy!
Thank you for your comment. I sent him to a private middle/high school specifically for their support services. It was a college prep school that also prepared kids for college. Somewhere in that, despite being giving endless techniques, tips & tricks for learning, he didn’t get fully prepared for the rigor of college coursework. I made the mistake of allowing him to not register with the disability office. After he ended up on academic probation after semester 1, he applied but it was too little, too late. As for reading, I don’t know if he even bought the textbooks for his classes. I know that sounds weird but he said they weren’t necessary. We told him they were. What he did after that, we’re not sure.
I will look at Johnson and Wales. I know it will work out but it’s so hard to get him on board with formulating a new plan. I think he wants to go away for the sake of college life, dorm life, making friends, hitting the gym. I’m not so sure he’s keen to study, take tests, or write… none of those things come easy to him. It’s such a mess 
And it was my son that called himself lazy. I am an encourager, just like you 
Has he ever been tested to determine what his learning disability is? Without knowing his specific diagnosis it’s particularly difficult to recommend intervention. Is he dyslexic? Does he have a processing disorder? Is he dysgraphic? Does he have some sort of executive function issue? All need different levels and types of support.
Tips and tricks for learning from private school teachers not directed towards a specific disability are likely not helpful. Of course, if he is dyslexic and it was a school that addresses dyslexia, that would be different. But your general run-of-the-mill private college prep school is not equipped to handle a learning disability.
In any case he can’t go away to college for a year now, because if his GPA is sub 2.0 he needs to bring it up. He can take 2 semesters, or 3, or a summer session then Fall and Spring (applying in the SPring to his “new” college as long as his GPA has reached thresholds at his desired schools - some colleges will want 2.5, some 2.7…) BUT it’s an opportunity to set himself up for success.
This!
But it will take some thoughtful planning with him on board. I still think a career person would be worth exploring. This could give him some ideas he hasn’t thought of.
Biggest thing…he needs to learn to self advocate…and ask for help when needed. Otherwise, registering with the disabilities office is a waste of time.
Everyone would love to party at college with no responsibility. That is not how the world works, though. A part-time job should help with the maturity and work ethic issues.
It is also possible that he is unaccustomed to the actual responsibility required in most colleges.
Some high schools permit do-overs, late submission, participation and attendance grades and extra credit. That is not going to prepare one for many colleges, but can be fixed by enrollment in a CC with standards enforced.
I think being home with his family is probably best right now, certainly through the summer. Trying to figure out his exact issues and steps to help remedy and manage them is essential.
That said, however, once he seems set to have some sort of direction (or is trying to explore the options at CC), have you thought about community colleges (or other colleges that primarily give certificates & associates) that have dorms? He could either take more academic coursework with a plan to transfer to a 4-year institution, or he can look into more vocational degrees that will get him into the workforce. But he could still have the experience of living in the dorms and having a life away from home.
In looking at your previous thread, California seemed to be the main spot the college search was happening, and these are some of the options there (school names link to their College Navigator site):
Or if you’re still living in Florida, then perhaps some of these schools could be options?
Also, one other option is Beacon College (FL), “the first accredited college offering four-year degrees designed around the needs of students with diagnosed learning disabilities.”
While I agree that it is not helpful to call a kid lazy, sometimes kids are not willing to do the work to be successful. At times that is due to a learning issue such as ADD or executive function deficit, at other times it is just because they don’t do the work. In many ways, that is easier to deal with than ADD or other learning issues. The kid is capable of getting it done and learns the lesson from having to be out of college.
In what ways do adults get accommodations in the work place @sbinaz ? While the ADA applies, a worker generally has to be able to meet the requirements of the job with only reasonable accommodations. The employee still has to meet the performance standards of the job (that is, if something is due this week and that is essential, the worker doesn’t get an extra week due to disability).
Sometimes it’s just maturity. It sounds like he did fine in his high school, where he had structure and was living at home so probably some accountability. I don’t know what university he was attending, but if he was accepted to Elon I am assuming he did well in high school. I would also be curious to know if the university he attended did any kid of placement testing for registering for classes? Because that should have flagged any skills that needed remediating. I have a D23 and I know both colleges that are her final two will require that. I would really want to pin down the why of his failing. Was it really his LD’s or did he really just not do the work because the social part was his focus. And no judgment from me on that! I had a disastrous first semester at college because I partied and didn’t go to class. My first semester grades were my wake up call and from then I got it together. But I came very close to crashing and burning. (And you’ll be happy to know I’m a professional, productive adult now!)
Hi,
Your son has nothing to be ashamed of; he learns differently and the role of the school, especially if your son had an IEP was to teach him the way he learns and to make sure that he has access to the general education curriculum.
My questions are what kind of feedback were you receiving at the IEP meetings?
What did his PLOP state?
What were his management needs in school? Was your son advocating for his management needs in the classroom?
What services was your son receiving in school- ICT, SETSS?
What were his testing accommodations/modifications?
What was in the exit summary of his IEP, should have laid out the things that he would need to be successful in college. While he would not have ICT or SETSS services in college, there would have or should have been a where do I go for help- taking advantage of the writing labs, office hours tutoring sessions, registering with the office of accessibility services (and informing his professor what his testing accommodations are).
Right now he may be better served attending community college at home, just so he will be able to build the advocacy skills he may need to successfully manage college.
@sybbie719 the OP’s son was at a private school. In our experience private schools don’t have IEP’s or 504’s (hence our kids all went to public school).
To OP: accommodations at the college level are not at the same level as high school. The technical language is that they cannot pose undue financial or administrative burden, and can’t substantially change the curriculum. The interpretation is often flexible and there are lots of accommodations that can help, especially extensions on projects/papers. Reduced course load can help too, but is harder to get.