Hello. My name is Aly. I have been on College Confidential before, but mostly by lurking in the shadows. I had no intention of ever coming onto these forums and saying anything, but something serious has happened if my life and I really need some advice. First, I am a senior who was accepted into Columbia University ED. I was/am so excited to move to New York and attend my dream college, but then my mom got diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Cancer is very expensive to treat.
Columbia University is also very expensive. My mom saved enough, along with some scholarships I’ve earned, that it’s not going to be a detrimental cost issue. I’ll have to take out a few loans, but that’s not the worst situation. However, with my mom’s impending medical bills, paying for college won’t be as easy and that’ll make it the worst situation to be in.
Another thing I need to think about is my younger brother, who is a freshman in high school. It will just be him and my mother in the house after I go to college. My mom raised us as a single mom and I never knew my father. With her cancer diagnosis, my mom can’t work as much as she would like to be able to pay for my college, pay for her medical bills, and provide for herself and my brother. My grandparents live back in my mom’s native Germany and are not rich either. My aunt also lives in Germany and is also not rich. We can’t depend on our relatives to help provide for us.
On top of these issues, I have to think about the worst case scenario. We live in Texas, which is quite the distance from New York. I obviously want to be there for my mom and brother and support them throughout this problem. But if the worst happens… my brother will be alone and we will probably be broke. My grandparents and aunt speak little English and if they were to move to the US to support us in the worst case scenario, it would still be a very difficult environment to be in.
So, I’m stuck. I don’t know what to do. I paid my deposit for Columbia and now, I’m reconsidering whether I should leave for college. Ovarian cancer has about a 50/50 survival rate, so everything could end up fine, but nothing is guaranteed. I want to think about all the possibilities before I make any decisions. My mom’s hospital bills will be a detrimental cost on top of my tuition. My mom will probably work less and my brother will have to support and help her out on his own while juggling his own stuff. Perhaps deferring my admission for a year to stay home with my family and get a job would be the best idea. But… again… if the worst thing happens, what will happen next? My brother barely speaks any German and has never lived in Germany so moving there to be with our relatives would be difficult to deal with. We’ll barely have any money, so things will become really hard for my family. My brother will need emotional support and I, too, will need it. Of course, I want to be optimistic but my mind is a maze right now and I just don’t know what to do.
My family has a history of cancer because my great-grandma died at a young age from it. My grandfather’s brother died at a young age. Again, nothing is guaranteed, but I just can’t help but to think of all the possibilities.
What should I do?