<p>Let me start off by clarifying that I am a first generation college student. My mom grew up in a different country and dropped out of high school to support her family. She doesn't really know how higher education -- especially in America -- works. </p>
<p>Well anyway, she's been highly encouraging me to apply (again) as a transfer to my dream school, and in a way I feel pressured. I'm 110% sure I am going to graduate uni and I will be the first person in my entire family to do so. I have talked about inviting everyone to my graduation because, well, hey I'm the first college graduate.</p>
<p>I am on track to graduate in spring 2015. Right now I am a first semester junior. My mom has been highly encouraging me because I've been doing very well in college (3.85 GPA, internships + holding a job, and involved in certain clubs) and knows from me that juniors have a higher chance of getting in (my high school stats were sooooooo mediocre). My state college isn't that well-ranked and is mostly known for STEM majors.</p>
<p>She basically wants me to reach for my dream school because she knows how sad I was when I was rejected and believes ill get more of an opportunity by attending there. She also knows I wanted to attend college in CA (decided to stay home bc of money). However, I've come to terms with my rejection but her encouragement (I know she has good intentions) makes me want to apply. At the same time I feel pressured because I might not get in and if I do it might delay graduation. She has said she would pay for all my expenses if I get in. I have a hint she might be wanting me to apply also because ill be graduating from such a well-known university and brag about it to my family. </p>
<p>Basically, how do I let my mom down gently that I don't want to apply? Or should I just do it? Thoughts? I love my mom SO much and her encouragement makes me happy but at the same time I'm not sure how to tell her (I've always been so bad at confrontation). </p>
<p>(This is USC, versus my small-named state school).</p>
<p>It seems to me you are thriving where you are. Very good GPA, internships, clubs, and I assume you have friends there. I personally think you should stick tight and graduate. Get a good internship next summer, and you hopefully will be set up to get a decent job after graduation. </p>
<p>I say you should let your mom down gently, but don’t give in if you really are happy where you are. Transferring so your mom can brag about your school isn’t a great idea. If you stayed near home for financial reasons, she probably is not rolling in dough to pay for two years at USC if you do get in. She ought to hang onto her money for retirement or any siblings you have and be grateful that she has a kid (you) who has bloomed where you were planted and is doing well there.</p>
<p>Stay where you are! it is really hard to find a new friend group, good jobs, connections with profesors and your department
etc, if you transfer this late in the game.</p>
<p>Even though you want to make your mom happy don’t transfer if you don’t want to because there is nothing worse going to a school that you don’t want to be at. That will be the case from what I can tell in your post if you transfer. </p>
<p>If I were you I would tell your mom something along the lines of-“the rejection from X college was the best thing that ever happened to me because now I am at Y college where I am getting good grades, I have done internships, had jobs and made life long best friends and all this may not have happened if I went to X college so in the end the rejection was the best thing that has happened to me. I could not be happier where I am today.” From this message hopefully she will get a clear sense that you don’t want to transfer.</p>
<p>Hmm … personally I think you should do whatever you want to do.</p>
<p>There may be an easy way out. You’re already a junior … correct? It may be too late to transfer to your dream school … at least without repeating at least one semester; which would be very expensive. It may be worth asking your dream school if they even accept transfers who are as far along as you are.</p>
<p>Another possibility would be to apply as your Mom wishes and be totally honest on the application … which would likely not show the passion to transfer as other applicants.</p>
<p>One last thought … if you apply to transfer and are accepted would you be able to afford to go … or is this dream school too expensive?</p>
<p>Why apply to transfer now rather than last year? What has changed in your mom’s life to make this so important to her? Does she have any friends or relatives whose kids are now at USC?</p>
<p>You’re already a rising junior. It really is too late for you to be transferring. </p>
<p>Anyway, you want to go to grad school. You’d be applying for grad school during the beginning of senior year. You’d need to get your LORs, your GRE scores, etc. You would have a hard time getting LORs at a new school. The profs won’t know you.</p>
<p>Regarding finances: I chose in-state because I was able to pay out of pocket for it independently (my own finances). USC would require loans and I just wanted to have no loans. We are financially well off, I would say. </p>
<p>@happymomof1: I was OOS my first year. Applied to USC and several other schools as an incoming sophomore. Rejected from USC and chose to to IS. Told my mom incoming upperclassmen have a better chance since colleges will focus on college stats versus my mediocre high school one. Didnt bother applying incoming junior year bc I literally had no time at all. </p>
<p>I mean – part of me WANTS to apply because it was my dream school and I still would love to attend but I feel like its too late in the game AND I have settled at my uni AND it feels like just a romantic idea to “get accepted into my dream school.” My mom thinks otherwise but I will try to tell her I am satisfied here so she will stop pushing for USC.</p>
<p>@mom2collegekids: I am a journalism/marketing communications major so I do not plan on attending grad school right now (everyone in my field advises against it unless I have the money or wanna go into academia). </p>
<p>My mom and I toured Annenberg and she also knows that their program is way better than my school’s program. Thankfully they have a Masters program! But I’m not sure if ill do that yet.</p>
<p>To be honest. There is little difference in your career if you go to USC or not. What is important is YOU, not the school. If you do well in the society, you will advance. I was in an apartment share with a Harvard MBA(Yale UG), he was in his 60’s and he did not do well.</p>
<p>Yes, its your mom’s bragging right, but what is important is YOU. Because college is where you first step into the society. Since you are doing so well in the school and internship, you will have a successful career ahead of you and it is very important. </p>
<p>In such late stage, you cannot possibly transfer and get all the upper class and some lower class credit recognized by USC. So, you are going to repeat Junior year over there. What is the point to do that? I was in a third class Uni (current ranking 150+), I want to transfer to my dream school (BC and Wake) as well, but when I looked at the requirements for credit recognition, it was too late and I would lose so much even if I made the transfer. Thus, I mind as well finish in my UG in three years.</p>
<p>Tell mom you’re so glad things have worked so well. If once you graduate and get into the field awhile, you can consider getting a masters from USC and still have less debt. </p>
<p>Congrats on doing so very well where you are attending!</p>
<p>You have done well at your current school, and you are likely to get stronger letters of recommendation for work or graduate school from professors who know you.
Tell your mother that you would love it if she started researching internship possibilities or jobs for you.</p>
<p>"I feel like its too late in the game AND I have settled at my uni AND it feels like just a romantic idea to “get accepted into my dream school.”</p>
<p>All of that, yes, AND you’d have to eat a semester AND go ~$100k into debt. This is assuming USC even allowed you to relinquish credit and enter as a junior, which many schools do not allow.</p>
<p>Frankly, your mom’s idea is terrible. It’s pretty much all down side for you with very little upside. If she were looking to pony up the $100k for this change, it would merely be a bad idea, but if she’s expecting you to borrow to fund it, then it crosses the line into insane and destructive of your future. You are succeeding where you are. Keep at it and build your experience with internships or part-time work in your field.</p>
<p>^ I wouldn’t send in the app because that will create an expectation (from the mom) that the OP will attend if she is admitted. I think looking at a Masters program makes more sense.</p>
I don’t see how the mother could pay, since OP posted the below previously. And OP couldn’t get enough in loans to cover USC, anyway! Mom needs to be brought down to earth…</p>
<p>I’d say forget it, not worth parental bragging rights, excepting that is a major USC is particularly known for and you might make valuable connections. It is too bad she didn’t offer to pay last year. I wonder if you have a trusted professor or adviser to mull this over with and see if they think it is worth preparing an application. As mentioned, USC may or may not accept someone with these excess credits. You will have to do all your majors credits at USC to graduate. You may not want to do over. Don’t go into any debt for it, make sure she will pay.</p>
<p>I think you have enough feedback on how to point out your current success to your mother, hopefully she can see that it is more about where you are going than where you have been.</p>
<p>I think that you would be better off finishing at your current school, and continuing to do well, get good internships, etc. A better use for your money at this point if you want to advance a career in journalism might be a masters in journalism at Columbia or Medill.</p>
<p>I would think at this point, it is probably best to stay where you are, since you are doing well in school anyways. Frankly if you want to go to your dream school it would probably be best just to apply for a masters there, it only takes 2 years and since your current grades are better than your highschool grades your chances of getting in would be better. If you transferred now you would probably have to redo a bunch of courses. Better to just finish your degree (2 years) and do two more years at your dream school, for a masters than to switch and have to redo a year of courses just to complete your bachelors (ie. 3 years for a bachelors in your dream school or 4 years to complete your current bachelors and a masters from your dream school seems like a no brainer).
Also I have a feeling that if you tell your mom that you intend to go to grad school at your dream school, instead of transferring, she will be quite happy with that.</p>