My mom is going nuts because I want to go to UCSC over UCD

Transfer Students UC Transfers
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<p>Okay so I want to go to UCSC but my mom is going nuts because she wants me to go to UCD. Shes making it seem like im throwing my life away and making the worst decision of my life....(she makes it seem like im choosing CSU Bakersfield over Stanford..). She says things like "You want to go to the crappiest UC when you got into better ones!". She keeps saying that UCSC is a party school and thats why I want to go there....Which is wrong because Im not even the partying type, and UCSC is not even really a party school. </p>

<p>The reason I like UCSC is because
1. The campus is incredible. I see myself at home there just walking through the forest and be at peace. Im a pretty deep thinker and the campus just seems like a great place to just enjoy nature and think about life in general.
2. I currently live in a cow/farm town in the central valley of CA. Ive been counting down the days to leave this place. And Davis although the campus itself is nice, the town is basically just like the town i currently reside in.
3. Im sort of a misfit, and the quirky, alternative thinking, politically active rep that UCSC holds attracts me as well. </p>

<p>So yeah its true, the reasons I want to go to UCSC don't directly effect anything related to academics. But I will be spending 2 years of my life there. I think the feeling of the school is pretty important as well. But my asian mom (yes im asian big surprise..) will never understand what I am trying to say. </p>

<p>So that is why I need your opinions. Do you think that choosing UCSC over UCD would be bad for my academic and future career? Would it really make it harder to get a job compared to going to UCD? Do people really see UCSC as that crappy school that people only go to because they got rejected to everywhere else? SIR deadline is in like 4 days...and Im completely stuck right now. Thanks.</p>

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<p>I’m certainly not qualified to say which school offers better job options, but no matter how cliche this is, my opinion is to follow your heart.</p>

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<p>Hit your mother for me. After that, SIR to the school you want to attend (UCSC, I guess).</p>

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<p>I am so sorry that she thinks this is about what she wants. I don’t know why parents do that when there isn’t a cost difference btw. the two schools, and academically the [perceived] difference isn’t significant enough to qualify “throwing your life away”. Wow. I lived in Santa Cruz (early 90’s) and you are absolutely right, it’s just a really great place to live --gorgeous campus. AND, it’s a really good school. Doesn’t get the credit it deserves imo.</p>

<p>Here’s what I would do in your position. Be more grown up than she is behaving. Sit down with her and say, “I want you to know how much I want this. I know that you’re not happy with my decision, but I want you to hear me…”. Make eye contact and speak calmly and as heart felt as you can. This often defuses someone’s anger. Eye contact and calmness are key in a battle of wills. Good luck!</p>

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<p>I agree with jkiwmom. I had the same problem with my mother, but only backwards. Initially, she wanted me to go to Cal Poly SLO because it’s so close to home. However, I was thinking about UCLA. She would get really mad for me even considering UCLA. It took some tears and several deep conversations later she understood where I’m coming from and is proud and excited that I’ll be a bruin this Fall. Tell her everything that you told us. Be the bigger person. Let her see how important it is to you. Write it if you must. Good luck!</p>

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<p>Don’t go to Davis. I grew up here, and it sucks. I have a friend who grew up here and now goes to UCSC and LOVES it.
Personally, I didn’t like the whole Stephen King vibe I got from the campus or the large hobo population, but if it’s your thing, GO FOR IT. At this stage in your life, you have to follow your gut feeling and do what you want to do.</p>

<p>As long as you are going to a UC (and it’s not either Berkeley or LA), it pretty much means the same thing as far as job opportunities go. SC has come a long way.</p>

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<p>This depends on your major. If your a poli sci major then I agree with your mom. Since Davis has the best Poli Sci department hands down( MY OPINION, being right next to the capital has to have some advantages . ). </p>

<p>FYI, UCD is harder to get in.</p>

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<p>I lol’d at CSU Bakersfield.</p>

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<p>Truthfully, both areas suck and are far secluded from a major city but at least the schools are great. Go to wherever you want, unless moms is paying your way.</p>

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<p>I went to both schools many years ago: UCSC for UG & Davis for law school. What is your major?</p>

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<p>Follow your heart…</p>

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<p>OP:
Psh, it’s too isolated here to be a party school. The CSOs shut down most on campus parties pretty fast too. Noise violations are taken pretty seriously. And even if it was a party school, remind your mom that party school does not mean it’s a school lacking in high academic integrity. Example: Chico State. Considered a party school, but produces highly desirable CS majors that companies in Silicon Valley like to snatch up. This information is from personal experience with companies in Silicon Valley. Before the dotcom bubble burst, you almost always had a job offer from a company in that area before you graduated. My brother was in the last wave of hires before that unfortunate event happened, thankfully.</p>

<p>I would normally say in the end, it does come down to the parent since they are paying. However, when the schools cost the same and are not that far from each other (decent distance, but still doable in a day), that’s a different colored horse. In the end, prestige is not going to matter. Your connections, your drive, and making the most of your resources will.</p>

<p>Has your mom ever visited the campus? Has she ever done any research into UCSC’s academics? Or is she just listening to rumors?</p>

<p>The best and most mature, adult way to deal with this is to present the facts to your mother about the campus. Tell her why you want to go, what the school is known for in terms of academics and research, and why you feel the experience would be better for you. Spreadsheets look quite nice when presenting some of this information, but I would recommend a powerpoint so you can better display the information in a comprehensive manner. If she insists on continuing to give you reasons that are based on rumors, then ask her to show you proof those facts are true.</p>

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<p>You’ll get better job opportunities after you have attended the school where you can let your happiness and comfortableness on campus give way to more productivity in classes and in your extracurriculars. If you love your school and it provides the kind of atmosphere you need to think, enjoy, and work, you will most likely succeed both there and post-graduation. You only get to do undergrad once, and you want to make the most of it in all regards. </p>

<p>What won’t work is choosing UCD, feeling resentful that you didn’t get to go where you want, possibly feeling less inspired to thrive, and realizing down the line that the supposed prestige difference between the two schools is not going to matter much when you’re actually looking for a job. You can always move to Sacramento after graduation if need be. A degree from UCSC might actually set you apart from all the UCD grads there anyway; you never know! Good luck! :)</p>

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<p>I’ll agree that UCSC has an amazing campus, although the forest part frightens me in terms of forest fire risk (is that dumb?)</p>

<p>Really amazing campus though. The town? Not so much. It’s a slightly freaky drive into SJ - the combination of this and them being total nitpickers at admissions drove me into not applying to SC. </p>

<p>Maybe it’s more for you than it was for me :slight_smile: I admit, I didn’t want to go to UCD after I saw UCSC. Of course, my mistake was not actually seeing the rest of Davis - I had only seen the side of UCD by the freeway. Turns out there’s a whole town back there! lol.</p>

<p>As far as towns go, I’m pretty sure it’s not the same experience you’d get in central California - Davis is small but has really good public transit and stores all over the place. That, and one is about 20 mins from Sacramento vs … you know… being hours from anything more than a rest area town. >> </p>

<p>Best of luck either way! :)</p>

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<p>Hey thanks for your replies. She is starting to get more chill about it now. I still think she was overreacting quite a bit and made a mountain out of a mole hill. But what can I do shes my mom. Thanks for your replies and good luck on your future studies.</p>

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<p>Brink22:
Glad to hear your mom is coming around :). It honestly is better if you actually like where you’re going. UCD is a wonderful school, but if it’s not where you want to be, then it isn’t where you should be.</p>

<p>And I agree with you based on your side of the story: she sounds like she was overreacting. I’m a terrible daughter, though. I probably would have said some fairly cruel things about my mother’s ability to think for herself (or lack there of) had she said anything like your mother did. But I’m also very blunt with my mom. Mine after a visit to UCSC to show her where I was going (this was almost two years ago) asked me, “Are you sure?” In her case, though, she was more concerned about my lack of a sense of direction. Now she’s to the point of wishing she could trade places with me.</p>

<p>It’s definitely not a campus for everyone, but it sounds like it is the right one for you. I hope you get what is right for you at the end of it all wherever that is :)</p>

<p>wwlink:
Santa Cruz is isolated, but not THAT isolated ;). Public transportation is actually very decent for getting up to the Bay Area as well (I’ve taken it numerous times to get home) especially considering there’s a mountain in the way. The campus does make things feel more cut off, though, because it really is it’s own little area. But that’s why I like it. The isolation of the campus from the city keeps the campus safe. I’m actually going to be taking public transportation back and forth between downtown SJ and Santa Cruz this weekend due to Fanime. It’s an easy ride that takes about an hour (depending on 17 traffic).</p>

<p>Freaky drive? Are you talking about 17? I love that highway! Some people drive like idiots and it’s been closed for various reasons (snow, accidents, etc), but it’s such a blast to drive/ride on and such a beautiful trip. If you think 17 is bad, you should try this road a friend so appropriately named “Barf Road” when she and I were little. It’s on the way to Stinson Beach. For a more dangerous road, 1 is always up there. Beautiful drive with the mountains on one side of you and a cliff-face drop-off into the Pacific on the other. Always go into Big Sur with your tank full, though. They charge insane prices going through there. Expect usually around a $1/gallon more than whatever the price is on either side of it.</p>

<p>And as for fires, you live in California. Fires happen. They’re what we should fear more than earthquakes here. Fires are just as likely to happen in a big city as they are in a forest. UCSC has it’s own fire department (same as UCD for the same reasons) because of the large size of the campus and the extended response time that is created because of it if the campus were to rely on Santa Cruz’s fire department.</p>

<p>As much as I love my forest walks, I am jealous of UCD’s campus for biking. I’m not a strong enough cyclist to regularly bike on UCSC’s campus :(. Fell in love with UCD’s when I was there the other weekend. But I don’t think I’d give up my “camping trip” for biking fun ;)</p>

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<p>she’s just being a parent. She’s worried that her child is making one of the biggest decisions in his life which he could very likely come to regret and she wants you to be careful. parenting 101</p>

<p>people think that ‘better’ schools mean better faculty and better resources. And that might be the case if we were talking about other public education systems like UOM, but we’re talking about the UofC here. That being said, the main point in her favor is that in spite of looming budget cuts, UCSC could have really big cuts done to it, and its resources might therefore be stripped, and it’s possible that this might be less noticeable at UCD.</p>

<p>tell your mom that your opportunities really depend on you. My roommate’s brother got into stanford from Angelo state (ranked really really low on USNWR) but he graduated with a 4.0, so like i said, just put in the work, and the sky’s the limit.</p>

<p>go to the place where you think you’ll be most happy, that’s certainly where you’ll do the best.</p>

<p>furthermore, a parent will always be more happy if you go against what they say and succeed than if you do what they say and fail. ideally they’d like both, but that usually doesn’t happen ;)</p>

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<p>Is your mom paying your tuition and fees and stuff? Forget that, she’s not going to college for you, YOU are going to college for YOURSELF. Do what what you want. Besides, I think Santa Cruz is an amazing place to be and if I recall correctly, Davis is considered a lower-tier school among the UC’s. Don’t get me wrong (and no offense for anyone who goes to Davis), but all UC’s are pretty much the same anyway. You get the same education anywhere, the only difference is location.</p>

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<p>I had a similar situation with my parents when I got into to Auburn University for grad school in mechanical engineering, and I was considering it over UC Davis, but eventually they came around. Being a big southern school with a raging football program, I guess the stereotype is that Auburn students love sports and could care less about academics. Actually, Auburn has a respectable engineering program, and it’s a beautiful campus. I’m looking forward to going there.</p>