<p>In the past months my mother has tightened her grip and tried to micromanage parts of my life she's never so much as acknowledged before. At first, I chalked it up to that phase parents go through when they realize their senior will be leaving soon, but biweekly blowups in which I'm called irresponsible and it's hinted that I'm not ready to hold my own in college are becoming the norm. I won't pretend that I'm an amazing student, I'm more brilliant than I am studious; but the bottom line is I'm an AP Scholar. By the time I matriculate I'll have more than 30 credits and I managed to pass a course at Johns Hopkins. I've worked sporadically for spending money, but my focus has always been academics.
The problem is that my parents know as well as I do that I'm nearly crippled if they refuse to present their financial information for the FAFSA. If they do(which I'm fearful is just another argument away), then I need a contingency plan. Any thoughts?</p>
<p>I’m sorry but you really haven’t made your issue clear. Are you and your parents in disagreement about the schools to which you have applied and the costs? Is there some reason finances are being discussed in this context? What makes you think your parents are going to “disown you” (which by the way isn’t all that easy to do).</p>
<p>State school and student loans.</p>
<p>Senior year is also a time when many parents expect kids to step up their game and act more adult around the house too. It may be that your mom is going through a clingy period while you’re going through an independent one…it’s a tough time on everyone and all of us parents have gone through the “fouling the nest” phase with one or more of our kids before the magical day of leaving for college arrives. Make sure you’re taking on, and especially offering to take on, additional tasks like running errands, doing laundry, starting dinner, etc. Discuss, don’t demand, your needs/plans with them and do whatever you can to do this without emotional outbursts. This period will pass more quickly if you can keep your cool without becoming distant. If she’s struggling with the idea of letting go, you can always point her towards the Parents forum here:)</p>
<p>Since you posted on FA board, the answer is that it will be extremely difficult for you to fund college without parental support and a FAFSA filing. Unless you had major scholarship awards, that is. At best, you would receive only Stafford loans, and only if they agreed to sign a statement saying they’re refusing to provide info/support. My kids couldn’t even afford 4 year state schools with Stafford loans…and we’re in a low tuition state! Community college or work and part-time study would be their only options.</p>
<p>Ok…what’s going on?</p>
<p>What are your stats? GPA? SAT/ACT scores? Include SAT breakdown.</p>
<p>When I read posts like this a few things go on in my mind…</p>
<p>1) Parents fear that they can’t afford the cost of college, so they come up with “other” reasons why they won’t help their child go away to school. I know a family that was very embarrassed that they couldn’t afford college costs, so instead of admitting that, they told their child that she couldn’t be trusted to go away to college.</p>
<p>and/or…</p>
<p>2) The student has been lazy/irresponsible/immature…losing things, having to be reminded about chores and appointments, messy, unorganized, can’t get himself up in the morning, stays up too late at night, etc. This last one is VERY common! If a teen wants his parents to support his college plans, then the teen needs to demonstrate the maturity for that privilege.</p>
<p>So, what’s up.</p>
<p>BTW…if your stats are good enough (GPA and test scores) you might be able to get some good merit scholarships some where.) What are they???</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>MANY of the most lucrative scholarships have December 1 admissions application deadlines. Getting mighty close to that for this year!</p>
<p>Some schools do have automatic merit awards based on your application only…but I’m not sure of any that are full rides that have later deadlines.</p>
<p>Very true…deadlines are approaching for merit scholarships.</p>
<p>*School: CIT ED II
SAT: 2150 (720M 700CR 730W)
ACT: 32
SATII: Less than amazing. 580 Physics 680 English 630 Math II
Rank: top 25% - 2.9 GPA(awful freshman grades with good reason)</p>
<p>Possible hooks: Double minority: Female and AA.
*</p>
<p>Well, merit scholarships aren’t really an option with your GPA.</p>
<p>Are your parents upset that your GPA is killing your merit chances?</p>
<p>Do you know what your EFC is? Can your parents afford to pay their EFC? If not, that may be part of the problem.</p>
<p>What school is CIT?</p>
<p>bandgeek, you have spelled out the problem here:</p>
<p>*biweekly blowups in which I’m called irresponsible and it’s hinted that I’m not ready to hold my own in college are becoming the norm. I won’t pretend that I’m an amazing student, I’m more brilliant than I am studious; but the bottom line is I’m an AP Scholar. *</p>
<p>I can’t speak for your parents’ motivations, but if you were my child, I would not be happy that I’m about to spend X amount of money for college and you are not working to your full potential – especially if you are considering some of the more expensive college options. (Also, see mom2collegekids #2 above)</p>
<p>*What school is CIT? *</p>
<p>That is CMU’s Carnegie Inst of Technology.</p>
<p>I think the parents are furious that a student who can get an ACT 32 (a 35 in math) and a 2150 SAT has a 2.9 GPA. </p>
<p>OP…
This whole “more brilliant than studious” is just a bunch of hooey. Employers aren’t going to hire you because you’re “brilliant” but you’re lazy.</p>
<p>Schools are going to see that GPA and think this is a stubborn student who won’t do the work she’s been asked to do. Do you think profs are going to pass you based on your perception that you’re brilliant?</p>
<p>Well, she did say she had a horrible freshman year with a good reason. It could be that having less than stellar grades early on is coming back to haunt her. Is that your unweighted average? What is your weighted gpa?</p>
<p>To have a sub 3.0 as a senior the OP would need to have more than one bad year (unless that was in the 1.0 range). Frankly, I’m on her parents’ side. She should be doing much better. Maybe too much band time?</p>
<p>Yes, she withdrew from her school freshman year.</p>
<p>I wish she would post what kind of grades she got in grades 10-12. If schools see a dramatic uptick, her frosh grades won’t matter as much.</p>
<p>She mentions that her mom wants her to live at home and go to class to help babysit several siblings under age 10. That may also be what’s going on here. Her mom may feel that if the OP goes away to school, the OP is abandoning her family and her mom needs her to help with the little ones. So, threatening not to do FA forms, etc, would be a way to keep her in town.</p>
<p>I hate to see that happen to college kids. Families who do this don’t realize that college isn’t like high school where classes end at 2pm or 3pm every day (to be home to babysit). A college kid can have late afternoon labs (especially an engineering student like the OP), so she wouldn’t be home in the afternoons anyway.</p>
<p>I apologize for not replying promptly, I’ve been on Thanksgiving holiday without wifi.
My gpa (unweighted) grades 9-11 were 1.2,3.5,3.9.
Weighted, they were 2, 5.5, and 5.75.
My EFC will be 25-30k, theoretically split because I have an older brother entering his third year.</p>
<p>*My gpa (unweighted) grades 9-11 were 1.2,3.5,3.9.
Weighted, they were 2, 5.5, and 5.75.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>You have an upward trend, very good.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>My EFC will be 25-30k, theoretically split because I have an older brother entering his third year. *</p>
<p>So, your brother’s EFC this year was between $25k-30k? </p>
<p>Keep in mind that CSS schools don’t split EFC in half. If a CSS school determines your family contribution (for one child in school) to be - say $38k, then a CSS school would say that for two in college, each child’s family contribution will be about 60% of that…**so about $23k for you alone. **</p>
<p>And your parents have been fine paying $25-35k each year for your brother (I know that you mention having a large family)? </p>
<p>What kind of school does your brother go to? Does it meet need?</p>
<p>I think your best contingency plan is to realize that if you want your parents to pay for your college (or at least make the 25K or so contribution each year) that you need to treat them with the same respect (if not more) you would a boss of a very intensive job situation. In short, you need to “keep your job” as model-student-and-son with your parents in order to assure that you keep your paycheck (aka - your tuition payments).</p>
<p>I doubt the requirements are immoral, dangerous, or even all that onerous. The requirements might be annoying, tedious and time-consuming. However - ask yourself if jumping through their hoops is worth 100K+ (4 years of payments) and an almost-guaranteed college degree in four years (you still need to do the work) probably at a private college or amazing flagship public university.</p>
<p>Note that once you are AWAY at college, as long as you get good grades and don’t get in trouble with drugs, etc – you will have a LOT of freedom to spend your freetime as you wish without a parent able to watch your every move. So keep your eye on the prize - this is short term pain for a major long term gain.</p>
<p>You asked for contingency plans. Most are grim in comparision to the cushy situation you have now if you don’t mess it up.</p>
<p>1) Move out, get a 40 hour a week job, go to community college followed by an affordable public university. Probably take 5 - 7 years to finish because it will just be tougher to cobble together.</p>
<p>2) Join the military (Trust me, s*cking it up to the parents will be easier, something that you may figure out in the first 2 days of boot camp.)</p>
<p>3) Shoot for a full-ride scholarship. (Unlikely, as these are rare and few inbetween. I love your sharp upward gpa trend, but I am not certain that adcoms are going to be so enamored by it unless accompanied by some great recommendations by guidance counselors that outline you overcoming hardships. You come from an uppermiddle class family and as far as I can tell, the initial bad grades were probably not because of a classical true hardship.)</p>