My parents are forcing me to change my lifestyle

Pre-College Topics High School Life
1

<p>Their orders are as follows:</p>

<ol>
<li>Reinstate your participation in Youth Group at church.</li>
</ol>

<p>I'm an atheist and the kids at the group are insipid. </p>

<ol>
<li>Be awake each morning by 8-9AM and get dressed/start your day. Bed time at 12 midnight Mon-Fri.</li>
</ol>

<p>I have a habit of going to bed really late at night and waking up in the early afternoon, but this habit disturbs no one.</p>

<ol>
<li>Be available to help Mom with any chores she needs done.</li>
</ol>

<p>This is reasonable.</p>

<ol>
<li>Get a part time job and buy a car for transportation to your new job. </li>
</ol>

<p>This is the one I really have a problem with. I held a 20 hrs/wk job last year and hated it with a passion. Also, I have no need for extra money or a car. I've been able to get along just fine by borrowing my parents' cars on occasion or getting rides from friends. I feel like I should have the ability to spend my money as I see fit. My parents forcing me to buy a car just about eliminates my entire life savings. I suggested tutoring as a part time job, but my mother denied this proposition because tutoring doesn't include "regular hours and a regular paycheck." She doesn't care that tutoring pays significantly more than bagging groceries at some grocery store; she wants me to get a job just to get a job.</p>

<p>If I don't abide by all these rules, I will be forced to go to regular public school, which I also hate with a passion. (I'm currently enrolled in an online public school, which I enjoy and have succeeded in. I had a B average back when I was in public school and my average shot up to a 4.0 after I enrolled in the online school. My parents seem to take no notice of this.)</p>

<p>It seems like my parents' goal is to get me to engage in a more "healthy" lifestyle and get me out of the house. Apparently, their idea of healthy involves strict schedules and menial part time jobs.</p>

<p>Am I out of line in opposing these measures? Am I just a spoiled brat? I need advice.</p>

<p>Thanks.</p>

2

<p>My parents are similar to your parents. I feel your pain. You’re a guy, though, and I’m guessing you don’t have psychotic Asian parents, so you could stand up more than easily than I can to my parents.</p>

3

<p>Not to be rude because I know you’re probably looking for people to back you up, but I kind of think your parents aren’t demanding too much from you. You need to have some sense of order. Your daily schedule is nowhere near as strict as it would be if you went to public school, so you should appreciate the freedom your parents are giving you, even with these new “strict” measures. Also, getting a job and rejoining the youth group will get you to interact with people more. From what you’ve written, it seems like you’re sick of people, since you hate the people in the youth group, you hate the people at your job, and you hate the people in public school. Maybe it’s you, not them.</p>

4

<p>I’m seconding pickle on this. it sounds to me like your parents just want you to have a more normal [healthy] lifestyle, which involves waking up at a normal time, having a normal job and interacting with people your age. man [or woman] up. you don’t sound badly treated, you sound like an annoying whiny teenager.</p>

5

<p>@OP: Are you sleeping during such irregular hours only during the summer? Or do you do so over the normal school term of your online classes?</p>

6

<p>Just wondering, why exactly would you hate going to a public school?</p>

7

<p>I don’t think you’re out of line at all. Cucumber and Izzy seem to be making some overly judgmental comments… he doesn’t seem like that…</p>

<p>^ I’m surprised you didn’t propose that he enslave his parents.</p>

8

<p>They’re trying to make you grow up.</p>

<p>

</p>

9

<p>I was going to say that, but it seems as if he is being enslaved by his parents, and turning the tables is something very few people could do (that includes me).</p>

10

<p>Well, I’m going to try very hard not to hurt your feelings. Okay. Whatever i say, take it in the best light. (sends ray of kindness)
As for rule #1.
this is actually the only rule i don’t quite agree with. I believe religion is personal choice so why should you be forced to go to any youth Group meting. that said, being an atheist could give you an opportunity for interesting debates. In the scheme of everything, not such a big deal.
my parents require me to go with them as we drive to different states (think 2-4 hour car trips) and attend services that go very late into the night , eight or nine o clock. Often we enter the house at 12 am or later on sunday when the next day ( monday) I have to wake up at 6 a.m. even though this drives me crazy, I go because they are my family and its important. Not a big deal.</p>

<ol>
<li>Here’s a weapon you can use to get out of this. The reason you wake up so late is due to your circadian clock which in teenagers is naturally programmed to stay awake late and wake late. Google this,there is medical evidence supporting this. </li>
</ol>

<p>However, on that note, the rest of the world doesn’t operate by teenage standards. Most jobs, schools or businesses require you to wake up early, not in the middle of the day. I agree with your parents here, i mean,everyday, waking up in the afternoon is just too much. To allow you to continue this routine would be wrong of them, they are preparing you for real life. </p>

<p>Help mom with chores, okay, yeah, we all try and sometimes fail at this task. Every parents asks this.</p>

<p>4.“Also, I have no need for extra money or a car. I’ve been able to get along just fine by borrowing my parents’ cars on occasion or getting rides from friends.”</p>

<p>I’m pretty sure your parents are not fine with you borrowing their car all the time. It will eliminate your savings? then get a part-time job, save money from the job and don’t use the savings you already have.
this is the rule you object to???
I would be thrilled if i could have a job so I could work and have my own money.
I can’t work because I have school and numerous other commitments.]</p>

<p>In general, I think if this your, you should rethink your lifestyle.
i second cucumber and izzy</p>

11

<p>It seems to me like you want your parents to view your lifestyle as rational and everyone else’s as strictly regimented hell, but in actuality your “lifestyle” just seems to me like someone who is too lazy to get up and go to school. You really should listen to your parents and try to find a job you would enjoy or something. When you get to the real world your boss isn’t gonna let you work from 3-12. The only thing i agree with you on is they shouldn’t make you go to church if you don’t want to. But really, getting up at 9 am is nothing to complain about, and honestly going to a real school and interacting with real people face-to-face on a day-to-day basis will serve you much better than going to an online school.</p>

12

<p>The guy’s an Atheist. Why would he even step foot in a church in the first place? His being forced to go to the Youth Group is uncalled for.</p>

<p>Also, tutoring involves teaching someone else = human interaction. There’s nothing wrong with this job at all. Additioanlly, it even pays more. His mom is basically making him do what <em>she</em> wants with no reason or rationale whatsoever. And what more, his parents are actually forcing him to spend money on something - the car - which he doesn’t need. Couldn’t this money be saved on something better oh say, perhaps, college? I mean seriously? Buying a new car also requires insurance, which is ridiculously high these days especially for teenagers. </p>

<p>The only thing I do not agree with, JamesGold, is the fact that you sleep late and wake up in the afternoon. NO. Change this habit. Sleep early (11/12PMAM) and wake up early (7/8AM).</p>

13

<p>He only borrows his parents’ car on occasion though, not all the time. He’d rather tutor than get a “menial” part time job. I could suggest that he finds a job that he’d enjoy doing, but that’s easier said than done. The way I’m taking it, he’s not against getting a job and making money, he’s just against working somewhere he hates. (I feel suffocated at my job >_>)</p>

<p>-agrees with the above on changing sleep schedule-</p>

14

<p>^ Yes, exactly. The job he wants, tutoring, also has more benefits than the one that his parents want him to take on.</p>

<p>What if his parents wanted to make him work at McDonald’s? That’s definitely better than tutoring right? You watch people get fat on foods filled with chemicals and perservatives, stand there in one spot taking orders and offering no use to society, while being paid only $7/hr. Yeah, definitely more fulfilling than tutoring where you can help children learn about something and do better in school.</p>

<p>Lol, it’s funny how a lot of you CC’ers say “follow your passion!!!111” and then when someone presents a situation testing your principles, you don’t even follow them.</p>

15

<p>^</p>

<p>If the OP doesn’t do one of them, someone else is still going to take the job.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>I don’t quite understand how passion is involved in any of this (except the youth group part).</p>

16

<p>^ I meant with the tutoring…he has a passion for teaching others…</p>

17

<p>To be fair, OP never said that.</p>

<p>Also, working at McDonalds DOES offer use to society :D</p>

18

<p>I don’t think your parents are being too demanding, although the youth church group probably won’t be fun. You may want to try to convince your parents that the expenses of a car at this age will be an undue burden on both you and your family, especially if your not getting enough money through a non-tutoring job.</p>

19

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</p>

<p>The OP never indicated that he has a passion for teaching others.</p>

20

<p>I meant “could have.” And the reason could not necessarily be just for teaching others…perhaps some other unknown reason. What is important is that he enjoys it so, yes, in a way, it is a passion; if he prefers it over something else, then he obviously enjoys it and thus it is, in some way, a passion. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t do it, like with the other job his mom offered him (bagging groceries).</p>