Hi, I’m currently a senior in high school and I have been admitted to University of Illinois at Chicago, currently I live about 30 minutes away from the school (without traffic). I come from an Arabic background, and both of my parents are religious and first gen immigrants from Palestine and Jordan, but I am atheist and “Americanized.” I want to dorm at UIC, it will give me major benefits for my education and overall practicality. Not only those educational benefits and resources, but I also want to leave home and get out of my comfort zone. I do appreciate everything my parents have given to me for the past 18 years, and I love them to death, but there are things that I want to do in life. I cannot be held by the hand every step of the way. They are extremely against me dorming for the following reasons:
1- Apparently Arabic people don’t dorm. (Obviously not true, yet they love to argue that).
2- It is too expensive. (I have money saved up for my whole first year already and more, and that is WITH the cost of dorming. My tuition will only be about 6k per semester without loans. Money shouldn’t be an issue right now, and even if I had to pay it off all by myself, I’ll be glad to.
3- My parents said they’d drive me to and from Uni, however they both have jobs, I won’t have time for a job with all the commuting, the amount of $ spent on gas will be astronomical for us at that point, and I won’t have the same schedule everyday. Some days I may have activities or may be doing something else in the city, so I cannot rely on my parents for that at all times, and I just want the practicality of being literally near my classes everyday.
4- The school is close. I don’t know if 30 minutes is considered close, but considering that Chicago’s got tons of traffic, AND the majority of the school year is in terrible weather (winter), I don’t know how that’s gonna go well at all.
I apologize if I come off as ungrateful or stubborn, but I really do love my parents, and I’ve always listened to them. I just want to finally have my own say in what goes on in my life, and though this is a big decision, I know I need to take risks and I want to take it.
First, calculate the costs of room and board for four years on campus. If it’s really not affordable, you might be out of luck.
There are benefits to living on campus. You can maximize your potential to do well by being on campus to have late night study sessions, go to professor office hours, and engage in clubs or activities that might be worthy of your resumé, especially if you end up leading an organization.
I’m guessing your family are Muslim? If they are, find out if there is a Muslim student group on campus, and ask some of its members for advice. Maybe if one of them lives on campus they can speak with your parents.
Your dilemma comes up fairly regularly here on CC. Maybe do a search using a key words such as Muslim living on campus, or similar, and see what advice was given in other threads.
It is a tricky situation if your parents will be paying the bills (doesn’t sound like you have enough saved for all 4 years?).
I do agree that commuting isn’t ideal and will change the nature of the college experience. Some potential issues you might raise with them:
-you desire a traditional college experience, one that will allow you to continue to grow as a young adult
-making friends and being part of the UIC community will be easier, and result in greater depth of these relationships, if you live on campus
-having to get rides from parents (their driving would be at least 60 minutes each way because there and back, twice), or be tied to a train schedule will limit your opportunities to meet with profs and participate in study groups with classmates, clubs, other activities, etc.
-commuting in the car takes away from your study time (harder to make that case if taking the train)
I am sure other posters will have more ideas too.
I agree with the OP that living on campus would enhance his education. Even if he can only afford one year, it would help him make friends and build a social life as well as connect to the campus and city. Even if he has to move back home in Year 2, he will have a chance at keeping the connections he established. I would go for it, but with a flexible mindset. Do not go into debt or put your parents in a difficult financial position, but it doesn’t seem that one year would do either. Play it by ear after that.
Good luck!
What a tough situation. I have a friend from another country with a freshman in college and she has commented many times how different the system is here. Where she is from you go to whatever school is closest to home and commute. She was overwhelmed by the process when her daughter went through it. Your parents probably just don’t understand why it’s important to you to live on campus.
I looked and UIC has a huge Muslim student association (https://uicmsa.org/). I agree with the poster above that this group might be a good resource for you (despite your personal views) and your parents and a good place to get advice about how to approach your parents and calm their fears. It might also be a good place to ask:
What times are classes that freshman typically take offered? At my D’s school many of the larger freshman classes are in the morning. Depending on your parents work schedule that could potentially be a challenge. And traffic in Chicago in the morning is rough.
Do Muslim students tend to live in a certain area on campus? Many of the Muslim kids at my D’s school are placed in a particular dorm because the cafeteria there always has Halal options.
Do most students live on (or near campus)? Would living 30 minutes off campus be a challenge in regards to study groups, office hours, etc? Again, at my D’s school many professors use the evening hours for study sessions since there are no classes then. And most exams are given in the evening as well. Your parents might not understand that at many of the schools here the full day is used. It’s not just a go to campus for a few hours and leave type of thing. BUT, some schools are more friendly for commuters.
Good luck to you!
Yes, my parents are Muslim. My parents don’t care for a “college experience.” I do want to make friends on campus, and have study sessions and whatnot. I want all the benefits, obviously. My parents won’t budge on any reason I give them to dorm.
I don’t have much time left to apply for housing, the recommended deadline was April 1st!
I appreciate everyone’s responses and I am noting them all down, thank you so much.
My parents are still very insistent on driving me everywhere, but I do not want that, and the time and gas wasted doing that is a shame.
If my parents do not agree or are okay with me dorming by May 30th, I may just apply for campus housing on my own. It’s going to be difficult and stressful, but I’ll of course continue to bring it up with my parents. Hopefully more people respond, I’d like to see other POVs or others who know what to do or how to deal with this. If someone has experienced this and ended up dorming anyways, please tell me.