My parents don't want me going away from home...

College Search & Selection
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<p>haha i wish that worked...</p>

22

<p>Is money a big concern to your parents? ie can they afford to send you to Ivy league colleges?</p>

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<p>they can but they refuse to pay for my education</p>

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<p>and living in southern cali doesn't help either</p>

25

<p>Money is obviously not an issue for your parents (income of $750,000 yr). IMO they're being totally selfish and do not trust you to make decisions regarding your personal/social life.</p>

<p>My mom worked as an admissions counselor and then an academic advisor at a major state university for several years. She had a prof in a Master's class in Higher Ed who claimed 80% of what students learn in a traditional residential college comes from experiences and activities <em>outside</em> the classroom, especially living in a dorm. Perhaps you can try using this angle to help convince your parents.</p>

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<p>thats what i'm really trying to do...and they called that crap claiming that i "won't come and go anywhere" without high scores on tests...and that those are best studied at home</p>

27

<p>Ivay, are you a girl? Is this a cultural matter with your parents, like maybe they believe girls shouldn't go out on their own until they marry? From your post, it sounds like they just want you to live at home. Just wondering.</p>

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<p>wow, your parents sound harsh! Tell them that it's your future and you'll do as you please!!</p>

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<p>its mostly cultural yes...they are more relaxed on guys than girls in my culture...its not like prohibited to leave the home...but my parents just don't want me corrupted by American culture</p>

30

<p>I understand where you are coming from completely. I live in San Diego so there's UCSD and SDSU nearby, which is where my parents would like me to go so that I could save some money and live with them. However, the only CA school I applied to was CSU San Marcos to make sure I would not end up going to a CA school. The rest are out of state or out of the country, University of British Columbia. Anyways, I'm telling you this because I've realized that there comes a point that your decisons will only affect your options for your future, not your parents. Take the initiative and figure out where you want to go and do it. I don't know if for your parents it's a cultural thing or they don't think you're responsible, idk, but maybe if you present a plan of action to them it could help. And talk to them, but if they continue to say no, find a way to make it happen for yourself. Best of luck.</p>

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<p><<but my="" parents="" just="" don't="" want="" me="" corrupted="" by="" american="" culture="">></but></p>

<p>Sorry, if I take offense at that, but would that be the same evil American culture that allows them to live in safety while making 750K/year?</p>

32

<p>
[quote]
its mostly cultural yes...they are more relaxed on guys than girls in my culture...its not like prohibited to leave the home...but my parents just don't want me corrupted by American culture

[/quote]

Do they want you to finish your education here and move back to their country, or to actually live your life in the US? That's pretty absurd...
If you will turn 18 before you leave for college, I would honestly suggest that you apply to more colleges now (that are very much safety schools) and look for a full ride, or as close to it as possible. If you need to take out a few thousand in loans, thats fine. Once you're 18, just go - do not let your parents' desire to control your life hold you back. You've said yourself that sexism is at the root of this, so why let them force you to conform to their stereotypical ideal?</p>

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<p>I have thought of that...but I feel like I Might be disowned if I were to do that</p>

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<p>They won't disown you. They will need you when they are old and decrepit. Unless you have siblings.</p>

<p>Seriously though, the only reasons I would stay home would be if there was a good college in the area (Akron...yea, not really feeling the Zips. :D) or if it were fiscally necessary (750K/yr = not necessary)</p>

<p>Also, here are possible arguments you could use against your parents.</p>

<p>If they say its financially necessary, throw their salary at them, and your possibly merit earning grades as well. If they say they want you close to home, tell them if they truly cared for you, they'd let you experience the world first hand, because if you want to be successful, you can't be in a sheltered household in Akron, OH forever. If they pull that American culture crap (which I take offense to btw), say what Lenny Pepperidge did about the safety and 750K/yr income.</p>

<p>Hope this helps somehow :D</p>

35

<p>haha well I do have siblings...and they expect me to pay out of college out of my own pocket so I will have no support financially...and they could care less about me experiencing the world firsthand...dang it I feel like I'm stuck and have no choices!</p>

36

<p>You need to be sensitive to your own culture. Your parents are not the only ones that feel that way. I've heard many successful Indian doctors said the same thing to my relatives. BTW, I do know off students that are born and bred in America and their parents are just as protective about them.</p>

37

<p><< <<but my="" parents="" just="" don't="" want="" me="" corrupted="" by="" american="" culture="">></but></p>

<p>Sorry, if I take offense at that, but would that be the same evil American culture that allows them to live in safety while making 750K/year?>></p>

<p>I have the feeling that the zero was a typo. Someone whose annual income was $750K could undoubtedly cough up $40-50K for college without feeling the strain.</p>

<p>But since you posted this on the Dartmouth board, presumably you have no financial or other acceptance worries:</p>

<p><<p.s- if="" i="" wanted="" to="" could="" go="" stanford="" on="" basically="" a="" full="" athletic="" scholarship...so="" do="" have="" decent="" backup.="" you="" the="" other="" hand="" are="" probably="" conceited="" and="" in="" denial="" will="" end="" up="" going="" state="" school="">></p.s-></p>

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<p>It seems like you could go to Ohio State and live in the dorms. Earn money and borrow money to pay for room and board. It is not so far from Akron to Columbus. I think your parents could warm up to the idea. Could you have someone they trust and respect discuss this with them?</p>

<p>Case Western is generous with merit aid and Cleveland is even closer than Columbus.</p>

<p>I don't think these parents are going to warm up to the idea of their childe going to college more than a few hour's drive away.</p>

39

<p>well the 0 was not a typo...and my parents want me paying for my own college...mainly to learn independence....but I just don't understand how they can leave me financially independent but not socially....and I don't think I have as much of a financial problem or maybe even getting into elite schools...its more of a acceptance problem from my parents...I don't want to be disowned which may very well happen...also they have said a definite no to any school in california...</p>

<p>p.s- going on a limb and going to the college of my choice would mean complete isolation of myself...I would still probably have to pay 50k+ a yr in tuition/fees/other expenses....plus the same if not more for any grad school...a debt of 400k+...and if I wanted to do that...in our financial crisis I could never take out that much in loans...that besides the fact that interest alone would bring up that 400k to around 600k wth current interest rates :(</p>

<p>I feel sooooo doomed...should I call the college financial aid offices and explain to them my situation...or will they not care...</p>

40

<p>With a family income of $750K, you aren't going to get need-based FA anywhere--unless, perhaps, you an emancipated minor--which unless your parents break down and pay for it lets the Ivies and other need-based schools out. (Leaving aside the issue of whether you would get in, of course.)</p>

<p>That means merit aid. These are the stats you posted elsewhere (capitalization yours):</p>

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<p>I'm sure there are schools in Ohio and environs where this would qualify you for merit aid. Perhaps others who are more familiar with them can make suggestions.</p>