Hi, I’m new here and I spent an hour typing up my first draft before I pressed preview and deleted so if I sound a bit frustrated I’m sorry.
My parents keep pushing me to go to the affordable, community college near our house. They say it’s the best option financially and personally for me. Our heated conversations have even gone to the point where my mom has threatened not to allow me permission to go (since by the time I graduate I will only be 17 and legally under her control). But I really do not want to. Ever since I was younger and found out that no one in my family had gone to college, I strived to be the first. Community college doesn’t really fit what I had in mind.
I, on the other hand, want to go to San Francisco State, which is approximately eight hours away from where I live (i still live in california though not out of state), and in the heart of one of the certainly more expensive cities. Besides the cost, I qualify and even go above certain standards with a 3.3 gpa and 1170 SAT score. I’m not the smartest kid at my school but even during hard times I manage to keep my grades decent enough.
Back to the financial issues, I completely understand where they’re coming from. After a search of apartments, it’s pretty obvious that none will come cheap; but I have had a steady job that pays over minimum wage that also has assured it will let me transfer to one of it’s San Francisco stores. In addition to that, I have also been signing up for scholarships and plan to sign up for a student loan. I want to make sure that they don’t have to pay for it really at all. But they are also concerned with the fact that they think I am ‘irresponsible’. I have made stupid mistakes of not turning in my homework, or forgetting to do my chores or cleaning my room on a weekly basis but never in my life have I ever snuck out or even attended an infamous high school party. During the last four( three?) years of my life I have been president/board of many different clubs, held my current job for ten months (an impressive feat seeing as I’m only 16), been counselor-in-training at my local community center two summers in a row and hope to apply for a second job at the community center this winter (another way I plan on earning money for college). Not to mention I am forced to babysit my three younger siblings (one is actually an infant) ALL the time.
Community college is in no way bad, I just don’t feel like it’s the right fit for me. Many of my friends plan on going for the two years before transferring to a university and I think that’s great of them. It’s just that studying film is more about making connections. I’m afraid that since UCs and CSUs only allow freshmen or transferred juniors -no in between- I will be missing out on possible connections and quite frankly one of the best times of my life. I don’t want to spend the next two years of my life watching my siblings and doing all the same old things. I want something new. And if it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out. I’ll be making an expensive mistake but at least it will be mine and I can learn from it. My parents just don’t understand and anytime I try talking about it I’m refuted with the same arguments, a tense awkwardness and don’t forget the elusive “We’ll talk about it later.”
I really just need help explaining to my parents how much I want this. I want the chance to prove to them that I am responsible enough and don’t need to rely on them all the time.
Even from a nonfinancial perspective, CCC is a great option for you. Get great grades, work hard, and transfer in 2 yrs. DO you think you have worked hard for that 3.3? College GPA is going to be so much harder.
You’re in a tough spot and I understand your frustration. Here’s what I suggest.
When everyone is calm, suggest to your mom (or both parents) a trip to San Francisco. Then make an appointment with a school adviser. When you’re in SF, walk around the campus, show your parents the surrounding areas. Ask the adviser to discuss financial aid options, work study options and to help you “sell” SF State to your parents. The adviser can explain the advantages of going to a 4-year school right away (no credit transfer issues, greater odds of graduating, etc.) and the support services that are in place to help students succeed.
Your parents may be impressed. They may end up seeing the value of letting you go to a 4-year school right away, and learn about ways SF State could be more affordable than they think.
If a trip isn’t going to happen, do a bit of research, write down all the benefits of SF State in clear bullets, and give it to your parents to read.
I know you know that shouting and arguing isn’t going to convince your parents. But acting like an adult, someone who’s done his/her homework, who has a reasonable plan – all that might.
Unfortunately, it sounds like your parents may like the idea of you staying around to babysit at least two more years. Also, since they didn’t go to college themselves, they are not fully supportive of the idea of you going off to college and having the entire “college experience” that they never had. Keep your dream alive though, whether you wind up having to attend the CC or somehow figure out how to start at a UC or CSU.
Go ahead and apply for your target UCs and CSUs and and any other suitable universities that have good scholarships for first generation students whose parents did not attend college, and also apply to the community college. If you wind up with scholarship offers that make attending a four-year university comparable to the community college, your parents might be more supportive of the idea. However, they may also be factoring in the cost of a babysitter to take the place of all the free babysitting help they get from you.
If you do stay in town for the CC, look into moving out as soon as you are 18 years old if you can afford to do so with roommates and your part-time job. That will free up your time babysitting so you can devote it to your own activities and priorities. Good luck!
Ask your parents to help you run the Net Price Calculators at the websites of SF State, your closest CCCs, and a couple more UCs, CSUs, and any other place your guidance counselor thinks would work for you. Then when you and your parents start to get a sense of what each place is likely to cost, you all will have a better idea of what can work.
You also can spend some time reading through the threads here in the Financial Aid forum. There is a lot of good advice for you and your parents there.
@mommyrocks, note OP’s stats, what scholarships will even cover room and board? Really. I don’t like seeing siblings used as proxy parents (It is the norm where I live in the great state of fecundity) but OP will be going to college and having a job. Babysitting ALL the time isn’t going to be a thing. My kid in college works 25 hours a week LOL. OP can get paid work hours that will make him completely unavailable.
No landlord in his right mind would rent an apartment to you as a 17 year old minor in CA . You’d have to get a cosigner (eg parents) for the lease meaning that if you are ‘irresponsible’ and say can’t pay the rent, your parents would be on the hook if you don’t pay. Honestly I’ll bet even if you’re 18 and 19 being a college student renting for the first time, a landlord still might require a cosigner as your credit history may be marginal.
Do you know what security deposits are? Who’s paying any security deposits?
You can certainly apply to 4-year universities - what about UC Merced? CPP? Sonoma? ULaVerne? St Mary’s California?
An issue is that your school record isn’t so distinguished it’d immediately appear you should attend a 4-year college.
Also, you can borrow 5.5K for freshman year, that’s it - and scholarships come from the colleges themselves (+ state grant and federal loans/grants, depending on your parents’ income).
The smaller classes at a CC may actually help you adjust to the faster pace of college courses by insuring you get more attention.
However, attending a 4-year university and living on campus, especially the first year, does increase your odds of graduating and especially graduating in 4 years (most CC students don’t complete their requirements, even in 3 years).
On the other hand, you’re lucky to be living in California, where community colleges offer lots of classes, have good quality classes, and include a streamlined process to attend the state’s more prestigious universities. So they’re not to be discounted.
Are your parents immigrants whose original culture includes no or few residential colleges and mostly commuter public universities?
Are you scheduled to retake the SAT in October?
A better score would likely increase your odds of getting in in the first place.
living on campus at a 4 year school is really expensive. Even in low cost areas like Sac State, you are looking at around $12k year for room and board. And, the dorms are closed for 5 weeks over Christmas, a week at Thanksgiving and Spring Break so, having a local job that’s not on campus can be a challenge. It doesn’t sound like that’s financially feasible for you and your family. I encourage you to apply broadly but, your local CSU may be your best option.